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Behind the Scenes of Book Writing with Lizzie Langston [#157]

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Key themes from Behind the Scenes of Book Writing with Lizzie Langston [#157]:

  • Personal Growth Through Creative Challenges- Writing *Educate and Rejuvenate* wasn’t just about completing a book; it was a journey of personal transformation for Kelsey. Facing and overcoming creative blocks became an opportunity to deepen self-awareness and resilience. Lizzie’s coaching played a pivotal role in helping her grow through the writing process.
  • The Importance of Self-Regulation and the Nervous System- The book emphasizes the role of self-regulation—learning to move from a stressed, “fight-or-flight” state into a calm, balanced mode. By understanding and managing the nervous system, teachers can bring greater calm and presence to their classrooms, creating a more supportive learning environment.
  • Empowering Educators with Practical Mindset Tools- Kelsey’s three-step framework—*Observe, Choose, Align*—guides educators in understanding their thoughts, setting intentions, and aligning actions with their values. This approach encourages teachers to be mindful of their emotions and intentional in how they show up for themselves and their students.
  • The Ripple Effect of Teacher Well-being- When teachers prioritize self-care and personal growth, the positive effects ripple out to their students, colleagues, and even their families. The episode emphasizes how this work, while personal, has far-reaching impacts on the educational community and beyond.
  • Creating a Supportive, Reflective Teaching Practice- Through stories and examples, the episode encourages teachers to approach their careers as a journey of continuous reflection and growth. By fostering awareness, setting meaningful goals, and choosing to stay aligned with their intentions, teachers can create a fulfilling, resilient teaching practice.

Ever wondered how the journey of writing a book can lead to breakthroughs in both life and teaching? Today, I’m thrilled to share an insightful conversation with my dear friend and first-ever life coach, Lizzie Langston, as we dive deep into the transformative process behind writing my book, *Educate and Rejuvenate.* Lizzie was instrumental in helping me shape my ideas, overcome creative blocks, and bring the vision for this book to life. In this conversation, you’ll discover how these insights could profoundly shift how you show up in the classroom and beyond.

The Beginning of the Journey

When I first started working on my book, I knew I wanted to create a resource that would truly resonate with educators, but I quickly learned that writing a book is no easy task. Lizzie, who had been my coach during one of the most challenging periods of my life, was there to guide me again. She helped me move from feeling overwhelmed to finding clarity in my message.

Embracing Personal Growth During Writing

Writing a book isn’t just about putting words on a page—it’s a journey of self-discovery and growth. Lizzie and I talk about how her coaching techniques helped me handle the stress of book-writing while balancing my roles as a mom, educator, and coach. 

Through her guidance, I discovered the importance of self-regulation, a key theme in *Educate and Rejuvenate*, and developed a three-step framework for educators to manage their thoughts, feelings, and actions. This framework became central to the book, and in many ways, it’s thanks to Lizzie that I was able to articulate it so clearly.

Building the Framework: Observe, Choose, Align

Our conversation digs into the creation of the book’s core framework:

  1. Observe Yourself – Recognize what’s happening internally without judgment.
  2. Choose Your Direction – Decide on the intention behind your actions.
  3. Align Yourself – Commit to choices that reflect your desired path.

Lizzie helped me take these coaching concepts and make them actionable for teachers, showing how they could use these tools not just in their personal lives but also in their classrooms.

The Power of the Nervous System

One of Lizzie’s unique teachings involved understanding the body’s nervous system. In our conversation, she explains the importance of transitioning from “fight-or-flight” mode to a state of calm, particularly for teachers who often face high-stress environments. We explore how this shift can help educators create a calm, supportive classroom atmosphere, not only benefiting students but also contributing to their own well-being.

The Ripple Effect of Transformative Work

As Lizzie and I discussed, there’s a ripple effect when teachers embrace personal growth. This work isn’t just about improving individual resilience; it’s about creating a positive, supportive environment that influences students, colleagues, and even family. I’ve seen the ripple effect in my Educate and Rejuvenate community, as teachers take the concepts from the book and bring them into their classrooms and homes.

Wrapping Up with Gratitude

Thank you for joining us in this special episode, and a big thanks to Lizzie Langston for her incredible support throughout this journey. If you’d like to learn more, join us at the upcoming Winter Educate & Rejuvenate event for more in-depth discussions and practical strategies. And if you haven’t picked up *Educate and Rejuvenate* yet, it’s available on Amazon and other major retailers. Let’s continue to uplift ourselves and each other as we educate and rejuvenate together!

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Read the transcript for Behind the Scenes of Book Writing with Lizzie Langston [#157] below:

Ever wondered how the process of writing a book can actually transform your teaching? Today, I’m bringing on my friend and my first ever life coach, Lizzie Langston, on the podcast to chat about the real story and struggles behind me writing the book, Educate and Rejuvenate. We’re diving into the breakthroughs and personal growth it took to bring my book to life. And Lizzie was a huge part of it, as you’ll hear on the show, and why these insight might just change how you show up in the classroom. Welcome to educate and rejuvenate the podcast, episode 157, behind the scenes of book writing with Lizzy Langston.
Kelsey Sorenson00:00:39 – 00:01:02
Welcome to educate and Rejuvenate, the podcast to help you revitalize your teaching, renew your spirit, and reignite your passion for life. I’m your host, Kelsey Sorensen, a former teacher, current homeschool mom, published author, and certified life coach. Whether you are a teacher in a traditional class room, homeschool from your kitchen table, or anywhere in between, I am on a mission to help you not only survive
Kelsey Sorenson00:01:02 – 00:01:04
as an educator, but thrive.
Kelsey Sorenson00:01:04 – 00:01:16
Get ready to up level your skills with incredible insights from guest experts and discover the missing piece, rejuvenating yourself. Are you ready to both educate and rejuvenate? Let’s go.
Kelsey Sorenson00:01:22 – 00:01:47
Oh, my goodness. It is sure sweater weather today over here. I am in my green sweater as you’ll see if you’re watching on the educate and rejuvenate app. And we just recently, here in the US, had daylight savings. Days are getting darker and colder. And the sweater weather and pumpkin spice are kind of a little bit old news now. Some of you might even be leaving school when it’s dark already. Like, so it can be pretty crazy.
Kelsey Sorenson00:01:47 – 00:02:15
And sometimes winter, a lot of us, like, start to feel the winter blues as things get so crazy with the holidays. We’re feeling stressed. We’re not getting as much sunshine, that vitamin d. We talked a lot about winter blues last year on the podcast. So if you’re feeling it, make sure to scroll back to some of those episodes last year where we really dive deep into that. But I also wanted to give you something to look forward to this winter. And it’s really something I’m looking forward to as well. So I’m so excited to announce our winter educate and rejuvenate event for the first time.
Kelsey Sorenson00:02:15 – 00:02:56
We’re not just doing a little mini event for our club members during the winter break. We are doing a full fledged event. It is the winter 2024, 2025 event. Actually, the live portion is mostly taking part at the beginning of January because we’re gonna be working on your new year’s goals. So we’re gonna going to have a pre party on December 30th with some really great stuff but I’m I can’t give it all away today because actually this episode is airing on the day of our reveal party on November 19th. Now there’s a good chance you’re listening after that so if you are, go to our website to see the information about the event. If you’re listening before December, January 2025. If you’re listening later, just look at whatever we’ve got next.
Kelsey Sorenson00:02:56 – 00:03:38
But if you’re listening literally as this episode comes out, make sure to check your email and our website to join us at the reveal party tonight. It’s gonna be a lot of fun. So I cannot wait to share more about this event. We’ll have more in next week’s episode if nothing else. But today, I’m sharing an incredible conversation with me and my first ever life coach, Lizzie Langston. This was actually a recording of a call we did during my book launch week, but it was such a good conversation that I wanted to air it again here on the podcast today because so most of you probably didn’t get to hear it. We had so many lives during that launch week, and this is one of the ones that ended up being rescheduled at kind of a weird time. So I wanted everybody to have a chance to hear this conversation because it was so good.
Kelsey Sorenson00:03:38 – 00:04:14
It was so candid. It was so real. And let me tell you, Lizzie, she was my first ever life coach who I started working with after my major panic attack I had in 2019 when I was overwhelmed with homeschooling and postpartum. I’ve shared that episode near the beginning of the podcast. I share more about that story so make sure to check that out if you need to. It’s also in the book, in the educate and rejuvenate book. You’ll get to learn more about that But I actually, what you may not know is that I hired her again as my life coach while I was writing the book, Educate and Rejuvenate, and specifically to help me through the struggles that came up as I was writing the book and helping me when I got stuck. And she actually ended up helping me come up with the framework that was in the book.
Kelsey Sorenson00:04:14 – 00:05:03
We’re going to teach you the framework if you haven’t heard it yet. If you’re like, this is maybe your first time tuning in or you didn’t listen to the 3 part series back in September when the book was coming out and you aren’t familiar with my 3 step coaching framework that I teach in my book, educate and rejuvenate, we’re going to, share a bit about it with you today with some real life examples, back and forth conversation, or review it if you know it and just get to hear it from another vantage point. So you’re going to walk away feeling inspired and with some laughs, definitely, along the way for sure. So let’s dive into this awesome interview. This book. Oh, my gosh. I am so thrilled, and it has been so much fun doing this launch party and hearing from those of you. I actually just got my physical copies of the book yester
Lizzie Langston00:05:04 – 00:05:07
Okay. Probably should. I’m like, you know what
Kelsey Sorenson00:05:07 – 00:05:12
I’m saying? Probably should. Probably should. They’re like, who’s this girl here? I am Lizzie.
Lizzie Langston00:05:13 – 00:05:22
I am a friend of Kelsey’s and have been her life coach and business coach before. And what else? Do we oh, we we had our first babies on the same day?
Kelsey Sorenson00:05:23 – 00:05:26
We did, but we didn’t know this until we known each other for, like, a year.
Lizzie Langston00:05:26 – 00:05:31
April 23, 2014. 14. We both became a mom that day. How cool is that?
Kelsey Sorenson00:05:31 – 00:05:33
We did. So cool. It’s
Lizzie Langston00:05:33 – 00:05:43
such a gorgeous because I live in Arizona. I’ve coached postpartum women, and I help women through spiritual awakenings. So Very fun.
Kelsey Sorenson00:05:43 – 00:06:19
You’re a writer. She’s a writer. She’s, yeah, amazing. So we are talking today because Lizzie was, like, she mentioned actually my first life coach. And in fact, like she mentioned, for so long, she’s coached postpartum women, and that’s how I got connected with Lizzie is because when I tell the story in my book of when I have my anxiety attack postpartum. Right? And this is shortly after I’d it wasn’t like I had a the first panic attack I talk about in the book was when I was on the floor crying with rubbery book, but then later on in the book That was in the classroom. Right? That was in the classroom. Yes.
Kelsey Sorenson00:06:19 – 00:06:42
And then later in the book, I shared the postpartum one. I thought leaving the classroom was going to solve everything. Right? I thought that it was that circumstance that that was going to keep me like, I was going to just be better. Right? Like, oh, when I’m not teaching, I’m not gonna be anxious anymore. But what I found is it didn’t go away. It followed you home. How fun. I’m following you home.
Kelsey Sorenson00:06:42 – 00:06:59
Followed me for like 5 years, right? Because it was my 3rd child when the second one happened and started getting help and then ran into you as my postpartum life coach. Hannah says y’all are making me laugh. I kind of get you laugh when you were tired and everything is hilarious. And was
Lizzie Langston00:06:59 – 00:07:04
the kind of laugh where you didn’t realize that you lost your coffee midway through the day, then you just found it, and so you’re sipping on it
Kelsey Sorenson00:07:04 – 00:07:10
at 7 o’clock at night. You’re like, oh, yeah. I’m gonna sleep. It’s a good idea. Cheers.
Lizzie Langston00:07:12 – 00:07:33
Okay. Here’s a memorable story about Kelsey, actually. I will say this. It was the pandemic, and it kind of had just hit us that the world wasn’t gonna go back to normal after 2 weeks, like all of the people said and all we all thought, okay, it’ll be a couple weeks. Well, maybe it’ll be a couple months. Right? And at the time, wife, teacher, mommy, which is now educate and rejuvenate
Lizzie Langston00:07:34 – 00:07:37
time of the pandemic, I’m telling him about the pandemic pivot. Oh, yeah.
Kelsey Sorenson00:07:37 – 00:07:39
The big handovers had to do. I got
Lizzie Langston00:07:39 – 00:08:02
to watch Kelsey go through it. Oh, yeah. Through it. It was beautiful. And at the time, she was just serving schools and teachers, like teachers that worked at schools, I should say. Yeah. And it was at that time that she realized what a need there really was beyond just the classroom and extended it to homeschooling parents. And what else did
Kelsey Sorenson00:08:02 – 00:08:07
you do? Time, like, everybody had turned into kind of a homeschooling parent. Right? So this is kind of like Yes.
Lizzie Langston00:08:07 – 00:08:14
And I just really loved it. Even though you had your moment to freak out, like, every business you did in the world.
Lizzie Langston00:08:15 – 00:08:18
We we processed it. Right? Like, let’s go on walks.
Lizzie Langston00:08:20 – 00:08:31
You ultimately dug really deep into your because you were terrified. Everybody’s terrified. And you were like and not just about business, but also about the actual virus and, like, what is
Kelsey Sorenson00:08:31 – 00:08:33
the world doing? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Lizzie Langston00:08:34 – 00:09:15
And I remember you just really digging deep and remembering your purpose. You got into that visionary CEO energy that you carry that’s, like, literally in your blood. It’s in your human design. It’s one of the gifts you bring into the world. It’s like this role model energy, and you just got it out from within you, and you were like, well, what about all the people now that are trying to be teachers who have never been teachers before? You just were like, we’re gonna do this and you made a decision and then you implemented it and then, of course, it was amazing and successful and, of course, you’ve searched people this way and families Yeah. Children and adults, and it’s just been so awesome to watch the impact. And then getting to help you write your book. Let’s talk about your book.
Lizzie Langston00:09:16 – 00:09:37
Kayla, let’s talk about the book. You guys know how hard it is to write a book. You know what a mind warp it is? I watched this poor girl slave over all the things she could say and choose so deliberately what is in this book. And, you know, I’m sure there were tears. I don’t remember a time where you were crying with me, but if I had to guess
Kelsey Sorenson00:09:38 – 00:09:39
No. There were. There were.
Lizzie Langston00:09:39 – 00:10:11
And and it’s not it wasn’t like stress. It was like, this is a book. This it’s like a baby that’s gonna go out into the world and it’s gonna represent your brand, and it’s gonna actually reach into the hearts and minds of women who are struggling, teachers who are struggling. And if and one thing I was really passionate about as you were writing the book is there has never been a time in education where teachers are more burned out than right now. Never in ever, ever, ever. And not just school teachers, all the way around. Just the educational thing. I feel like that was my role.
Lizzie Langston00:10:11 – 00:10:20
It was just holding the vision. When you had to get into the nitty gritty, I could just keep us focused on I got to be a book writing coach, first of all. That was so cool. Thanks for letting me do that.
Kelsey Sorenson00:10:20 – 00:10:36
That was so fun. Yeah. I think we actually didn’t mention that yet. So Lindsay did hire her to be my so she was my 1st life coach back then for, like, a year and a half. And then we were postpartum stuff. Yeah. Yeah. The postpartum stuff.
Lizzie Langston00:10:36 – 00:10:38
That’s side of business because I love business.
Kelsey Sorenson00:10:39 – 00:10:44
So Yeah. I know. Well and it was a lot of just my stress coming up and you’d help me regulate my nervous system around it.
Lizzie Langston00:10:44 – 00:10:48
You did so good. You’re such a warrior. You guys, she really is just as impressive
Kelsey Sorenson00:10:48 – 00:10:50
as she seems. I’m gonna I’m sorry
Lizzie Langston00:10:50 – 00:10:52
if I can’t burst your bubble because she
Kelsey Sorenson00:10:52 – 00:11:02
Oh, Leonard. Leonard. He has created over 500 articles on LinkedIn. He knows how challenging it is. Yes. It can definitely be challenging to get your writing out there. 500. That is amazing.
Kelsey Sorenson00:11:02 – 00:11:04
And the way you get in your head. Right? You’re like,
Lizzie Langston00:11:04 – 00:11:13
oh, maybe people already said this, or am I saying it wrong? Is somebody gonna catch me out and complain to my editor? I mean, there’s so many things. Yeah. That’s impressive. 500 is a lot.
Kelsey Sorenson00:11:14 – 00:11:26
Yes. So impressive. Hannah says it’s a beautiful book. Hannah was one of our early readers. So she’s read the entire book and she loved it. She’s amazing. Hey, Hannah. Jennifer started it last night.
Kelsey Sorenson00:11:27 – 00:11:33
Excited to read more tonight. Yes. I’m so excited for you to read more too. Me too. I it feels
Lizzie Langston00:11:33 – 00:11:56
like it’s not my book, obviously, but I’m like, I feel attached to it because I slaved with I I was there for the hard parts. You know? Some of them, not all of them. I would love to know in you guys in the comments, if you have read it, what stood out to you, whether it was a certain story Kelsey told or just a general energy of the book, or did you learn a new principle? I’m if you wanna share. I’d be, as we chat, you can think of something.
Kelsey Sorenson00:11:56 – 00:12:09
Yeah. And feel free to share that anytime. We’ll be circling back to the chat as we continue to talk and everything. Amazing. LinkedIn user. I’ve been trying to get mine together, but it’s such a challenge. Yes. Trying to get your own book together.
Kelsey Sorenson00:12:09 – 00:12:39
Is that what you’re talking about? I know so many of us actually do have a book in us. It was actually earlier this, in January, actually, I did a vision board challenge with members of the educate and rejuvenate club and actually quite a few people. I was like, you know, in the heat of writing my book and I, like, just talked about it as an example and I was not surprised, but also it was, like, I wasn’t expecting it, but it was, like, a bunch of, like, oh, yeah. I wanna write a book, too. I wanna write a book, too. And I love that. I mean, we can’t have too many books out there. I feel like a book is really a way to see into my my sister.
Kelsey Sorenson00:12:39 – 00:12:41
Actually, my sister’s writing a book.
Kelsey Sorenson00:12:41 – 00:13:16
name’s Tori her name’s Tori LaRue, by the way. It’s going to be about perfectionism, and what I’ve read is really good. Amazing. But, anyway, she posted a quote on her page the other day, and it was like, a book is a window into the author’s soul or something like that. It really is a glimpse into especially when it’s a book like this. What I’ve written is a self help book for educators, essentially. And it really is like a glimpse into what I’ve learned from my own personal development journey, which was while I was in the classroom and then transitioning out and then homeschooling my children and, you know,
Lizzie Langston00:13:16 – 00:13:18
just pivoting a business during pandemic.
Kelsey Sorenson00:13:19 – 00:14:05
Yeah, a lot of different things. And the great thing is the framework that came out when I was writing and Lizzy actually helped me with this. Granted, I mean, I came up with the framework, but what she did was she asked me I remember you gave me this homework because I was so stuck. Do you remember this moment where I was just stuck? I was like I feel like I’m just writing randomly. I’m writing about our thoughts, I’m writing about our nervous system, I’m writing about our feelings, I’m writing about creating an essential schedule. It just feels like this randomness of a lot of principles we talk about as coaches, but like, how do we actually put this together? And so you helped me you’re like, okay, well, what if just everything you taught and if you were teaching it in the order that you generally teach it to your clients. I can’t remember the exact words you used. I feel like I should have pulled up that Google doc.
Kelsey Sorenson00:14:05 – 00:14:16
Okay. Now it’s time to refresh. But basically I did this huge thought download of a bunch of questions. And I I think the big one was really just, like, the order. Yeah.
Lizzie Langston00:14:16 – 00:14:20
I really just had you get out of your head and into your heart. I know that sounds
Kelsey Sorenson00:14:20 – 00:14:22
sad, but they’re too That’s true.
Lizzie Langston00:14:22 – 00:14:37
This is too right. And you were here and you were consternated and you were a little bit met us. Instead of being present with the thing you were writing, you were, like, thinking about how it was all coming together and you were up here above it. So I’m pretty sure we did some breathing.
Kelsey Sorenson00:14:37 – 00:14:40
If you know me We did. We did. We get into
Lizzie Langston00:14:40 – 00:15:01
the body. I’m all about the body knows all the truth. The body holds all the messages. We just need to get that soul back down into that body. So we did that. And then, yeah, and then I think I just asked you questions that really helped you think about your person, like, the person you were writing to. And I think what that did is it got this creativity. Is that a creativity flow?
Kelsey Sorenson00:15:01 – 00:15:10
Creativity. Yes. Creativity. I’m like, let me talk Words are challenging at 8 o’clock at night. Yeah. Funny things happen
Lizzie Langston00:15:10 – 00:15:39
when you’re away from your kids at this hour of the day. Anyway, so slurring your words. But, yeah, I think we just got into service mode, and it wasn’t that you know, it’s hard to write a book. It’s hard because you’re thinking about the project, but you’re also thinking about your person, but you’re also thinking like an editor a little bit. And so I think I just helped you get back into that seat of the you’re con you were connected with your heart, your mission, and your person, and that’s when and I think I just asked questions to do that, and then we got in your body.
Kelsey Sorenson00:15:39 – 00:15:46
A ton of questions. Yeah. And then I did I actually had my Kindle scribe, which if you know me, you know I I love my Kindle scribe.
Lizzie Langston00:15:46 – 00:15:48
Right. I have seen her on
Kelsey Sorenson00:15:49 – 00:15:53
that thing. I’ve seen her on that thing in a hotel room. We went to
Lizzie Langston00:15:53 – 00:15:58
a conference together for funsies. It’s frenzies. And I was just actually, I don’t
Kelsey Sorenson00:15:58 – 00:16:00
know what Gabby Bernstein, which was amazing.
Lizzie Langston00:16:00 – 00:16:19
We saw Gabby Bernstein. We got to meet her. We manifested seeing Gabby Bernstein live. If you don’t know who she is, she’s a spiritual mentor lady. Anyway, we actually bought my son a Kindle after I watched you with it. Even, like, getting she gets she finds the sales, and she’s she’s so good at it. You, like, manifest cheap, cheap, cheap books, dude.
Kelsey Sorenson00:16:20 – 00:16:58
I mean, what I do her karma. What I what I do is I just have them on Amazon list, and part of my morning routine is to go through and see which books dropped in price. I mean, it’s yeah. It’s just part of the routine. Whatever you do, keep it up. But the reason I was mentioning it is because I write on it too. Right? And it was, like, 12 pages of me, like, what is it I would teach and in what order? And then it was, like, oh, it became super clear because what it was doing is trying to figure out like, oh, there’s all these individual tools, but it’s kind of like, okay, when is it you use each one? And that’s when I came up with the whole observing yourself because that applies to your thoughts, your feelings, and your nervous system. And I think we had talked about the word observe too.
Kelsey Sorenson00:16:58 – 00:17:01
It’s a very popular word in the coaching spirit in general.
Lizzie Langston00:17:01 – 00:17:06
To give yourself credit because you were not like, what do coaches say? You were like
Lizzie Langston00:17:07 – 00:17:52
What would my person understand? Yeah. How can I say like, you constantly were I mean, you guys, this book is so tailored to you? It’s a silver platter of the best of the life coaching industry and the most intimate lived experience of a teacher and a homeschool parent, both, and someone who had a mental breakdown in her personal life. And it’s only the best stories from that, only the best learning from that. And it’s so teacher friendly and I I’m so impressed by it. And honestly, Kelsey brought in some things I didn’t know, and I’ve been a life coach for 6 years now. And it was so fun to just look at how hard she did research. She really held herself to a high standard, I felt like.
Kelsey Sorenson00:17:53 – 00:18:22
I I mean and part of it was even I turned in my first submission. And this is the great thing about how I worked with teacher goals too because I turned in my first submission and so I’d write something as like, you know, oh, yeah. And this works this way. And it was something we learned in our certification with Brooke that you and I did, or just that I knew from coaching and whatnot. But they’d be like, cite your source. And I was like, oh, what’s my source for that? And so I actually dig in and do further research, and I learned so much in new research that I did for the book as well.
Lizzie Langston00:18:22 – 00:18:27
Oh my gosh. And you had to manage your time like a pro with your family. You know? It’s not
Kelsey Sorenson00:18:27 – 00:18:32
like you’re writing anything on top of your learning a business that might be You had like stuff
Lizzie Langston00:18:32 – 00:18:47
come up and you just, like, stuck with it, you guys. I honestly you really could do, a behind the scenes, teach your people how to stick with writing a book. There’s so many people here that are trying or they have the idea. I think it’d be
Kelsey Sorenson00:18:48 – 00:19:07
fun. That would be fun. Yeah. Oh, Linda says the review of the coaching call steps, c t f a r. Yes. The self coaching model, and c t f a r stands for circumstance, thought, feeling, action, result. Lizzie was the one who actually taught me the model, and now I’m teaching the model. Model, mommy.
Kelsey Sorenson00:19:08 – 00:19:28
You are. No. I I remember I don’t know if you I don’t I can’t remember how long you’d been coaching when like, 2 and a half years probably. Okay. So it was a little bit, but you were, like, I just had my designer make this pretty thing of the model. I don’t know if you remember. Yeah. I think it was Felicia who made it, and you sent it to me.
Kelsey Sorenson00:19:28 – 00:19:45
And so I then printed it out and hung it up, and I was like, this is just magic. And then I remember sharing it with one of my friends who’s a therapist, and she’s like, oh, yeah. That’s cognitive behavioral therapy. And I was like, oh, I thought I discovered this amazing but I mean, it is an amazing new thing. Then you and that’s what I love about
Lizzie Langston00:19:45 – 00:20:25
this book. If you guys are gonna read it is you need to have your own experience. There’s a difference between intellectually being like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. You have a circumstance and then a thought, but in the book, she gives you so many examples that take you on the inside of it, and you’re gonna have your own moment where I call it higher consciousness. Like, basically, I feel like what’s the things that you put in this book, some of them are proprietary to you. Others of them are maybe a little bit more gathered very especially from the life coaching industry, but it’s like, ding. Like, all of a sudden, you can see a thought differently. All of a sudden, you can have a new vantage point, and you can solve a problem that’s been something for months or even years.
Lizzie Langston00:20:25 – 00:20:43
I remember the very first time I ever used this particular tool, although you have some other really good tools in your book that I love also, but it was during my episode of postpartum depression. So I just can’t emphasize enough, like, the potency of what’s in the book. I’m really proud of you. It’s really awesome.
Kelsey Sorenson00:20:43 – 00:20:51
Aw, Lizzie, you’re so sweet. I I love how the book turned out. I’m actually so proud of it. It turned out even better than I could have imagined.
Lizzie Langston00:20:51 – 00:21:07
Oh, one of my passions and something that I feel like I really helped bring to you in your life was the nervous system getting into the body stuff, and that definitely made it into the book for sure in your own flavor. Did. In your own favor. You wanna talk about that for a second?
Kelsey Sorenson00:21:07 – 00:21:16
I do. And I feel like that is something I’ve even this year been, like, getting so much better at too. And I feel like writing about it helped me to
Lizzie Langston00:21:16 – 00:21:20
do it better. Let’s tell people what it even is. They’re like, what?
Kelsey Sorenson00:21:21 – 00:21:23
So They’re like, what about the nervous system?
Lizzie Langston00:21:23 – 00:21:26
Nervous system. Can I be teacher for a minute? Can I play teacher?
Kelsey Sorenson00:21:26 – 00:21:29
Yes. You can. I can get another gen while you do that.
Lizzie Langston00:21:29 – 00:21:51
Yeah. Because the frog is gonna crawl out of your throat here in a minute. No. I’m just kidding. But side note, my favorite first of all, my mom was a teacher, a public school teacher. 1st, she did mostly 1st grade, I think, maybe 2nd grade too. And then she had all of her babies and decided to be the mom teacher at home. But my favorite game to play when I was little was classroom and teacher, and I would be the teacher.
Lizzie Langston00:21:51 – 00:22:21
And I had all these students, and they were either my stuffed animals or they were just invisible, and I would go to great lengths. I mean, I would make a worksheet with my on the paper and then make copies and then put 30 copies or, I don’t know, maybe 10 or 12 copies around the room. And then I would grade them all. And I loved the feeling of all the work of a teacher when I was little. So funny. Now I homeschool 2 kids, so that’s fun. And then one of them is in a Montessori classroom, and she loves it. So, anyway, let’s talk about the nervous system.
Kelsey Sorenson00:22:21 – 00:22:24
You’re like me. We go down rabbit holes. Like
Kelsey Sorenson00:22:25 – 00:22:28
and T guys. We were just talking about that today too.
Lizzie Langston00:22:28 – 00:22:55
Whole other conversation. Whole other conversation. Whole other one. But if you don’t know, basically, this is very oversim that’s not oversimplified, but it is simple, but that’s good. So we have 2 settings as humans. We can be in fight or flight, like, survival amped up mode, which isn’t necessarily bad, but it does draw on our hormonal reserves. And so we only wanna be there for a little bit, and then we want to recover. And that’s the other mode is sort of rest and rejuvenate.
Lizzie Langston00:22:56 – 00:23:26
What a fun way to use that word. So we’re gonna restore I love that word. Yeah. So we have 2 modes. Are we amped up? Are we chilling? And the most problems happen when we are not aware that we’re actually still in that fight mode even if we’re doing supposedly relaxed things. Or another thing I hear from moms a lot is they know intellectually that they need to rest. And so they go try to rest. They go try to take the bath, try to go to bed early, and they can’t sleep, and they’re wired, and their brain’s going 10 places.
Lizzie Langston00:23:26 – 00:24:05
So what can happen is you can get stuck in the fight or flight mode without meaning to, without even wanting to be. And there’s a such thing as cortisol addiction. Cortisol is your stress hormone that you use a lot of when you’re in that fight flight mode. You can actually get addicted to being in a state of cortisol response. It’s so messed up because it it’s hard. You gotta know how to go in there and manually flip gears. So just like a stick shift car, right, you gotta know how to crank that baby in reverse and be like, back it up. You also gotta know how to go from the one gear to the other, and especially as women get older and they’re and they have babies in their hormones and not just women.
Lizzie Langston00:24:05 – 00:24:32
I happen to work with women a lot, so that’s don’t mind if I mentioned women a lot, but even men hormones change as we get older. And, also, if you’ve just been dealing with a lot of stress, I’m just telling you your life as an adult human being will be so much better if you are not doing this already. If you learn even just a little bit about the basics of the nervous system, which this book if you’re a teacher or an educator or a parent that educates, honestly, this is this book just puts it in such a great way. And I Yeah.
Kelsey Sorenson00:24:32 – 00:24:33
There’s a whole chapter dedicated to that.
Lizzie Langston00:24:33 – 00:24:49
And I remember being like, wait. Wait. Wait. We gotta make sure we get all this in here because this is so good. And she nailed it nailed it so beautifully because she lives it. And so, anyway, it was really cool. And I hope that you guys, when you read this, you don’t just have an intellectual experience. I hope you actually have a body shift.
Lizzie Langston00:24:49 – 00:24:52
I hope you have a gear shift. That’s my hope. That would be great.
Kelsey Sorenson00:24:53 – 00:25:12
Yeah. And that is the goal because and that’s why actually and, Lizzie, I think I’m gonna be showing you this for the first time. And some of you, if you’ve been on other lives, you might have seen it, but not only do you get ready. I I have to grab the physical book to show everybody to. That’s why I went off screen again for a sec. But so you get the book. Right? Oh my gosh. But there’s also so many bonuses.
Kelsey Sorenson00:25:12 – 00:25:25
This is the PDF workbook. I printed it out and found it because I’m a total teacher, and I have my own laminator. I have my own binding machine. You know? Of course. Anybody else have their own laminator and binding machine? I mean or if you don’t, like, you would do it at school.
Lizzie Langston00:25:25 – 00:25:26
Come on. That’s not people.
Kelsey Sorenson00:25:26 – 00:25:42
Come on. Come on. But look look how thick this is. Okay? I just kept going. Like, every exercise in the book or, like, idea basically, man, like, here’s 24 hour observation. Look how many questions. So much journaling. You guys are gonna love this.
Lizzie Langston00:25:42 – 00:25:45
You’re gonna get all teacher giddy about what you’re talking.
Kelsey Sorenson00:25:45 – 00:26:18
Got it. I mean, so you can actually do and apply it. And, again, don’t feel like, oh, that’s overwhelming. I don’t think I can do it. You are the boss of yourself. You gotta choose if or how much of this you do, but, also, you could do, like, 5 minutes a day and just work your way through it. And that way, you’re not only just passively consuming information, but you are able to actually apply this work and do it and really get in touch with it because what I found and, Lizzie, you’ve mentioned this to me, and I feel like I really caught on to the model first when we were coaching. The embodied stuff came with time and then journaling.
Kelsey Sorenson00:26:19 – 00:26:25
I feel like once I started writing, it’s crazy what comes out when you write versus just when you talk or when you think. Right?
Kelsey Sorenson00:26:26 – 00:26:33
There’s really something magical about writing, and that’s why there’s so much journaling, so many questions. Even research
Lizzie Langston00:26:33 – 00:27:19
on the nervous system says that when you put it out in front of you like, when you use your hand and you put it out in front of you, you get space between you and the emotion or you and the memory. And that space is where healing can happen because then instead of being in it, you’re looking at it, and now you can make more of a response versus a reaction because it’s, like, taking over your body. So that space is everything. Like, in coaching, we call it holding the space because I’m holding a space for you to take it out and put it here so you can see it, or maybe I’m verbally reflecting it back to my client, and then your body literally feels different. And my cup is that front especially if you get the workbook combined with the book that you’re going to have it.
Kelsey Sorenson00:27:19 – 00:27:22
Well, the workbook comes with the book, by the way. You know,
Lizzie Langston00:27:22 – 00:27:26
the workbook comes with the book because you are looking at a teacher to meet
Kelsey Sorenson00:27:26 – 00:27:43
a book. It’s a package deal. Yeah. It’s one of your bonuses that you get. That mobile app the mobile app that has 3 guided meditations and videos that go with the workbook that explain the exercises the book club, like, so much that you’re getting just by buying a book. You’re basically getting some coaching with the book. Speaking, I do want,
Lizzie Langston00:27:48 – 00:28:01
can you just briefly walk us through the framework? Because it’s been a minute since I’ve gotten to hear it. I got to be in it when you were really, really creating it. Yeah. Yeah. What is you know, when you say, if you get into this work, it’s gonna help you. What is the work for teachers?
Kelsey Sorenson00:28:03 – 00:28:14
Can I literally show you? Because Of course. Hold it up for the class, Kelsey. I know. I’m gonna just be a real teacher here for a moment. I mean, I am a real teacher, but you know what I mean. If that’s anything less. Okay. So the framework.
Kelsey Sorenson00:28:14 – 00:28:23
So here’s the book, and the framework is so 3 okay, I gotta get it in the right spot. Here we go. So 3 step frameworks. So first is to observe yourself.
Kelsey Sorenson00:28:24 – 00:28:25
we’re paying attention Can
Lizzie Langston00:28:25 – 00:28:28
I give an example? So you say the framework, I’ll give an example.
Kelsey Sorenson00:28:29 – 00:28:29
Yes. Let’s do that.
Lizzie Langston00:28:29 – 00:28:32
You say if I’m right or wrong because you’re the teacher.
Kelsey Sorenson00:28:32 – 00:28:34
Okay. So observe yourself, Lizzie.
Lizzie Langston00:28:34 – 00:28:54
An example. Okay. Listen. Observing yourself sounds simple, but we all know that we get caught up in a reaction. Right? And so let’s say you are let’s say you’re in the classroom and you have a teacher or sorry. Not a teacher. You have, I don’t know, a supervisor that’s there watching you teach, and then there’s Your admin. Yeah.
Lizzie Langston00:28:54 – 00:29:07
Your admin. Thanks for the language of the teachers. And then there’s, like, a 5 minute break. The kids are doing a worksheet, and the admin maybe comes over to you and shares their notes with you. And there’s something that’s just a little bit of constructive criticism, and it kinda bothers you. And so Yeah.
Kelsey Sorenson00:29:07 – 00:29:08
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lizzie Langston00:29:08 – 00:29:47
Yeah. So now you’re in front of the class again, and they’re still there observing you, and you’re kinda peeved. Right? And so that is the moment where you would use this step. You would observe yourself. Okay? So you’re you’re stepping out of being in the storm, and you’re looking at the storm. You’re like, what’s going on? So we’re taking inventory of the moment, maybe my heart, and and specifically, what really helps is get into your sensation. So what’s happening in your body? So my heartbeat’s pounding. Obviously, you’re gonna be having a lot of thoughts, but sometimes, trying to get into the thoughts when they’re going fast and you’re angry or there’s a lot of emotion actually kind of ensnares you deeper.
Lizzie Langston00:29:47 – 00:30:05
They’re sticky. So just go to the body, stop, drop, and get in the body. And it’s like, oh, my jaw is clenched, and Mhmm. My heart rate is up, and I have an a tickling, niggling thing in my stomach. Like okay. So that would be the first one. Observe yourself.
Kelsey Sorenson00:30:05 – 00:30:24
But, yeah, you’re noticing it. And then we talk a lot about having a lot of compassion as you do it and not trying to fix it. It literally is just observing it. You’re not doing anything else Yeah. About it at that time. And then after that oh, and it doesn’t say here because, right, we haven’t gotten there yet. So then when you get to when you get to section 2, I will show you. Let’s see.
Kelsey Sorenson00:30:24 – 00:30:38
It’s after chapter 5. I know that much. So section 1, this is the other thing. The observe yourself is 5 chapters. The other 2 are 3 chapters each, and there’s a reason for that. It’s because observe yourself is really the foundation. Right? Well, it’s it’s it’s the moment
Lizzie Langston00:30:38 – 00:30:50
you become it’s the moment you become conscious. It’s like, how many of us are living and teaching from an unconscious almost like the way you get when you’re brushing your teeth. You’ve done it so many times. You’re unconscious.
Kelsey Sorenson00:30:50 – 00:30:54
Like rope, like just going through the motions. That is that is Yeah.
Lizzie Langston00:30:54 – 00:31:13
Unconscious. Flipping through the channels. Unconscious. But the observing yourself actually turns on your consciousness. And from a place of consciousness, you get to make change. You get to become in the driver’s seat. And so it’s actually harder than it sounds, but it’s the change maker. So that’s why there’s 5 chapters on it.
Kelsey Sorenson00:31:14 – 00:31:37
And like I mentioned, that’s the reason why there’s a staircase, but it’s not like, oh, you moved on from this. I wanna make sure it’s kind of layered. This is still the foundation of this step. We’re just adding on more like riding a bike with training wheels when you’re learning the steering, the pedaling. And then when you take those training wheels off, you’re still steering and pedaling. You just now have a habit of that. Right? So we’re adding on. So next, we choose our direction.
Kelsey Sorenson00:31:37 – 00:31:54
Right? So that’s when we start to get more intentional. We start to look at what is it that I really want and not just going through the motions. We talk a lot about the different people pleasing we do, the manuals we have, which is a concept you learn about coaching the book. Kind of. I know. I know. This is what you learn when you read the book.
Lizzie Langston00:31:55 – 00:32:23
It’s all of the programming that we haven’t looked at. Yeah. So when you observe yourself and you calm your body down like we just talked about and you start to chill a little bit more, then you’re like, oh my gosh. I’m just projecting this onto this person or I am why why do I even need to be mad about this? Do I even really wanna be mad about this? Do I really need to be ruining my day over this? It’s just that moment where your inner adult is like, okay. I’m gonna make an executive decision for team Kelsey or team Lizzie.
Kelsey Sorenson00:32:25 – 00:32:34
Yeah. And one of the things that you even talk about when I introduced the what do you want is actually that scene in the notebook when, like, Ryan Gosling is, like do you remember?
Lizzie Langston00:32:34 – 00:32:36
No. I just think he’s hot. Sorry. What?
Kelsey Sorenson00:32:38 – 00:32:49
I mean talented. And talented. Yeah. He’s cunuff. What is cunuff? From from the Barbie movie. Right?
Lizzie Langston00:32:52 – 00:32:54
Just had to remember that he was also in the Barbie movie.