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You Asked, Our Coaches Answered! [#142]

Click below to listen to episode 142, You Asked, Our Coaches Answered:

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Key themes from You Asked, Our Coaches Answered:

  • Embrace Imperfection and Take Small Steps
  • Action Before Motivation
  • Reframe Tasks and Set Boundaries
  • Prioritize and Align with Values
  • Stay Organized and Support Others

Navigating the Challenges of Teaching and Parenting with Expert Advice

Balancing work, home, and everything in between is tough, especially for educators and parents. In the latest episode of Educate & Rejuvenate: The Podcast, we bring you our coaching panel from our summer 2024 Educate & Rejuvenate conference. Our amazing life coaches dish out some real, down-to-earth advice while answering questions from attendess. Here’s the scoop on their top tips to help you stay balanced and motivated!

Embrace Imperfection and Take Small Steps

Bonnie reminded us that perfection is a myth! It’s all about those baby steps. As educators and parents, the pressure to be perfect is real, but acknowledging that it’s okay to improve little by little can lift a huge weight off your shoulders.

Action Before Motivation

Kamee brought up a game-changer: action comes before motivation. Don’t wait for that magical moment when you *feel* motivated. Start with small, consistent actions, and watch how motivation follows. It’s all about building that self-discipline muscle.

Reframe Tasks and Set Boundaries

Francini shared a brilliant tip: shift your focus to the end result instead of feeling obligated to do a task. This can turn a chore into a purposeful activity. And Chrissy hit home with the idea of setting boundaries and practicing self-compassion. It’s crucial for keeping your motivation intact and managing responsibilities like a boss.

Prioritize and Align with Values

Feeling overwhelmed? Francini’s advice is golden. Align your actions with your core values and priorities. This helps create a sense of balance and keeps you from feeling like you’re spread too thin. It’s all about what truly matters to you.

Stay Organized and Support Others

Bonnie offered some solid tips on staying organized, especially when juggling multiple tasks. Identifying goals and taking small steps towards them can help keep things in order. And remember the importance of supporting each other. Kelsey and Bonnie emphasized the need for educators to nurture relationships and support their colleagues.

Conclusion

Balancing work and home life while keeping that spark of motivation alive is a journey, y’all. With insights from our panel of experts, you can navigate this path with more ease and grace. Align your actions with your values, set realistic expectations, and remember to practice self-care. Through open communication, continuous learning, and a whole lot of self-compassion, finding that balance becomes not just a dream, but a reality.

Stay fabulous and keep rocking it in both your professional and personal lives! And don’t forget to tune into the podcast for more nuggets of wisdom. You got this!

Resources mentioned:

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Read the transcript for #142 You Asked, Our Coaches Answered:

How do you stop working when you’re at home with your kids? How do you get motivated to do, well, anything? What if I’m worried about gaining weight I’ve lost as I get off meds? How do I support other teachers as a mentor while still running my own classroom? What do I do about challenging behaviors due to ADHD and autism? And so many more amazing questions that you all asked us on our coaching panel, and we’re answering all of them live for you today. Welcome to Educate and Rejuvenate, the podcast to help you revitalize your teaching, renew your spirit, and reignite your passion for life. I’m your host, Kelsey Sorensen, a former teacher, current homeschool mom, published author, and certified life coach. Whether you are a teacher in a traditional classroom, homeschool from your kitchen table, or anywhere in between, I am on a mission to help you not only survive as an educator, experts and discover the missing piece, rejuvenating yourself. Are you ready to both educate and rejuvenate? Let’s go. Welcome to educate and rejuvenate the podcast. I’m going to be really quick right now as we have a fun, but longer episode to share with you today. And originally, I was thinking of just cutting out part of this q and a panel with all of you to be here on the podcast.
But because when an episode is longer than an hour, sometimes it feels like, oh, that’s like a lot to listen to, but trust me, the time is worth it. And it’s going to be the only episode we air this week, so if you need to, like, pause it and come back to it later in the week, totally fine. But I didn’t wanna cut anything out. It wasn’t worth cutting anything because there were so many great, amazing questions, and I want you to be able to hear all of them, especially because, like, maybe the one that you needed the answer to, I didn’t want cut out. Right? I really wanted to give you here everything on the podcast, everything we have to offer. But before we get into it, I wanna explain what is this panel. So at our educate and rejuvenate event, on 17th July, 2024, we had this live panel, and our attendees got to just pop questions into the chat, and I would pull them onto the screen, and we would answer them. We started, like, all answering them, and then we realized there were so many questions That was kind of like, hey, you take this one, you take that one.
So we tried to answer as many questions as we could in the hour that we had. And there were so many great questions. Like everybody who came, they just brought it with their questions. And I know that they’re going to be applicable to all of you. And so all of the coaches on this call are our educate and rejuvenate club coaches. So, obviously, I’m the owner of the company. I’m doing a call basically every week unless I’m out of town or otherwise unable to do one, but I try not to not do one. But we also have our incredible coaches who are also part of the club who support you as well.
So I want you to meet all of us, so you know you get to know me if you’ve been listening to the podcast. But Chrissy, Bonnie, Francini, and Cammy are all amazing coaches. I want you to I want you to get to know all of them. And the great thing is you kinda get a different perspective. And on some of them, we’re able to, like, jump off from each other and share. And I would really love to do some podcast episodes sometime with these ladies where I can really just talk to you, like, maybe 1 on 1 with each of them about different topics. So if you have, like, oh, I want you to talk to with this person about this thing, let me know. DM me on Instagram or email hello at educate and rejuvenate.com, and I’ll keep that in mind as I’m planning the podcast schedule because right now, I don’t have anything planned through the big like, August.
So now and if you are like, oh my gosh. I love the advice from all these coaches. I want these coaches to be my coaches. Be sure to check out the educate rejuvenate club. That’s when you’ll be able to come on a call anytime, ask us questions, actually come on and be coached by one of us, or even submit on our upcoming mobile app into Ask A Coach where you can just have us in your pocket. Grab out your phone, type in a question, submit it, and get support from your coaches here at Educate and Rejuvenate. So again, if you have any questions about that, DM me on Instagram or email us. But without further ado, let’s get to this amazing panel.
So we’ll just go in order. I would love for each of you to do a quick introduction to yourself. I guess I’ll do mine crazy fast because most of you probably know me, but I saw a few of you say you’re just barely joining for the first time. So I’m Kelsey Sorensen. I’m the owner here at Educate and Rejuvenate. If you wanna learn more about me, be sure to watch the replays of my sessions. K. Chrissy, go.
Wow. Same. You. I’m Christine. I work with teachers, and I’m an executive function coach, and I specialize in how to get anything done at any time. And if you wanna learn more about me, just watch more replays. We had a fab session yesterday. Francini, go.
I’m Francini Estes, and I am a life coach for mamas and teachers of children with challenging behavior, those with ADHD, autism, or children that just a little more struggling with any type of life. But I’m not here for the child. I’m here for to support you, mama and teacher. I am one of the coaches in here, and I also have my own business. I’m TransUnion is this coaching. And I just help moms and teachers with when they’re struggling with their burnout so they can feel better, so they can show back the way they want.
Okay. Hi, everyone. Oh, Bonnie’s trying to cut in front of me. My name is Cammy. I’m a certified life and wellness coach. I work with moms primarily, and I have 4 kids, that I homeschool, and I’m happy to be here.
I am Bonnie Whiskam. I’m also a homeschooler. I have a large family, and I have been, having I’ve had an online business for probably over 10 years now and now I’m a certified coach who helps other women who want to build businesses from home, specifically other coaches or content creators. And it’s a lot of fun. So I love talking business and homeschooling as well.
So we do have a few questions. I’ve been going through the chat and starring them. So let’s see. Here is a good question. So how do you balance school and home? No matter what I do, I can’t seem to not work at home. And everybody here has either been a teacher or has homeschooled. So it can apply to all of these coaches here, and we have some homeschool parents here as well. Do all of you wanna just take a stab at that question? Do we wanna try doing that? Chrissy, I’ll let you start again.
That’s great. I think the very first question to ask in that question is what is balance? What does balance mean? Does balance mean that things look perfect all the time, your own kiddos or family looks perfect all the time, does balance mean that you are, you know, always feeling calm? Because I that’s a really, big pressure ask of ourselves. So I think let’s get really clear and specific on what, Stephanie I know this is your question. Balance looks like at school and balance looks like at home. For me, I’ll give you an an example. Balance at school looked like a very messy desk, and my principal just knew and my department chair that that was a sign of genius for me, a very messy desk. So what what is balance? I’ll pass it off to Francini.
I love how you started. And I sometimes I like to play with the balance in different parts of the model. You know, the model that we use, that we have a circumstance and then a thought and a feeling and then actions and then the results. And sometimes I like to throw the balance on the feeling line and just check and and just check it out. Like, do I feel balanced, or do I feel imbalanced? And then I have a thought about whatever it’s happening. Right? So sometimes let let me just give you an example. I work from home, and I have 4 children. I’m adopting fostering to adopt the 4th one, and I decide to go back to college.
And so I have lots of things happening most of the time. Does that cause overwhelm? Maybe. Sometimes. Depends on what I’m thinking about all the things. Right? So do I feel like imbalanced sometimes? Sometimes I have a sick child, and I have a sometimes I have a task or an exam for that I have to study for college. And when I just go and decide to take the sick child and not do the and not study for the exam, depends on how I’m thinking about it, I feel unbalanced or not. But because I’m really sure with my values and my priorities and taking care of my kids comes first, I don’t feel unbalanced. But there are days that I’m just you know, I’m not very clear with my values, but I have to remind myself, like, remember that what looks like for you.
But to be to give you 3 quick quick quick that’s how I do 2 balance. Okay? I just work with my mindset, and I remind myself that my behavior and how much I do is not tied up to my value, my identity. So that’s the first one, mindset. Work with your mindset. What you do, how much you do is not tied to who you are. Number 1. Number 2, be friend with your calendar. Your calendar is not your enemy.
Just, like, be friends with it. That was a very hard one for me because I thought that was my boss. You know? So I learned how to have some some systems with my calendar. Now my calendar is my friend. It has my back. So that’s number 2. And the number 3 and last 1, have systems that works for you. Like, have just sit down and have systems.
Systems becomes habits, and then it’s just everything just so much easier. Kami or you, Kami?
Yeah. We’re going in order. Right, Kelsey?
But switch it a little bit though because this question is very similar, but then we can get through another one. So this one is how does everyone balance school and home? No matter what I do, I can’t seem to not work at home. So it’s kind of that same thing about balance, but really about, like, the school and home part of that.
Yeah. For me personally, I think maybe this is, not popular opinion, but I think balance is kind of bs anyway. It’s just about what we’re prioritizing right now. Right? Like, it’s like sometimes we’re, like, if I’m in a fitness contest, I’m gonna work on working out a lot. If I just like right now I spend a lot more time with my kids because it’s summertime but that’s just so there’s not actually balance, but in when fall comes, we might do more schoolwork. So I think it just depends on our priority and what we’re doing at the moment, and there’s no need to have, like, the drama of, like, in my balance, like, sometimes we’re feeling really good in life and then we question ourselves just because we’re like, but wait, am I balanced? Am I giving enough time to my husband? Which is okay to do checks. I’m not saying we should neglect our husbands by any means. But also, like, maybe that’s a lie.
Like, maybe it doesn’t always have to be 25% here and 25% here. Like, we just have different seasons and we could like someone said in the comments, I think it said, Laurie, give ourself grace and just go with the flow depending on what season we’re in and just enjoy each day. And don’t go into the lie and everything has to be balanced because it’s not true.
Yeah. Totally. I love this. I wanna focus on the second half of the question that says I can’t seem not to work at home. So the question is, why do we wanna not work at home? Like, do we think that’s because it’s we’re not balanced? Do we what if this is the season where you’re gonna have to get some work done at home? Right? So for me, personally, one of my things that I don’t like to do is to work on my business in the evening. After my husband’s home and after we’ve had dinner, it’s easy for me to sneak back in my office and get more things done. There have been times where I’m like, no, I’m not gonna do that. I’m going to leave things undone on purpose, which is a little easier to do if you own your own business than if you’re working for an employer so that I can be with my family.
And there have been other phases where I’m like, I love you so much, honey, but you’re gonna have to do bedtime because I have a project and I am committed to it. I am going to work in the evening even though generally I don’t like to. So just ask yourself, why are you so just locked in on not working at home? What would it be ideal to not have to work at home? Maybe. Sounds like maybe you don’t want to, but you have to decide what’s worth you’re gonna have to give something up. Either it’s the the not working at home and not get some some stuff done. Right? Or it’s gonna be like, no. I am gonna get this work done at home. But maybe the the, the pay the trade off is gonna be I’m gonna wait till my kids are in bed or I’m gonna wait until after dinner.
I’m gonna be present for this amount of time and then I’ll finish it later. So sometimes we just beat our head against the wall because we have a specific ideal that we’re trying to meet, and sometimes it’s just not realistic. We have to have trade offs.
I okay. I have to piggyback off that for a second because I love what both of you said for 1. Like, we talked about this morning about alignment and balance and how sometimes we’re trying to juggle so many things, but really it’s like, do we need to juggle all of them? And really it’s like, maybe it’s not fully balanced. Maybe like Cammy said, you’re really focused on your fitness right now, and that is maybe gonna have some more attention than something else or vice versa. Or there’s a period where you do need to do some work at home. And it’s what are you telling yourself about that? Are you telling yourself that makes you a bad mom or that makes you a bad spouse or there’s something else behind that, like a thought about it, right, that’s making it a problem that you’re doing work at home. And, obviously, we want to, you know, not most of us probably don’t want to be working all the time. That’s not what we want, but there are seasons kind of like we talked about this morning.
Like, there are seasons of our life that are different. Like, for me, the 2 weeks leading up to this event and during this event, my kids don’t see as much as of me as they usually do because we’re doing a lot. And then I need sometimes it’s like, okay. And now I just need a break, and that doesn’t look like parenting my children. That’s not always a break. So my husband, he helps and, you know, kind of does that too. So, again, there’s just knowing, like, there’s a time and a place for everything. Okay.
Next question. And then we are getting some great questions. I don’t know. Do we wanna do, like, 1 or 2 people answer each one? Or I’m trying to figure out how we do this. Here is the next one. So Rhonda asked staying organized when teaching multiple small groups all day. Anybody have good organization tips to share or how how coaching kinda ties into the organization or managing that?
I I would just ask ask yourself, get really honest about what staying organized looks like. Because that’s probably gonna look a lot different for me than it is for you and maybe for another teacher. So in a perfect situation, what is staying organized gonna look like? Is it gonna look like knowing the goals and the outcome that you’d like to have for each group? Is it having equal amount of time? Is it, like, knowing what each kid is supposed to be working on? Right? So I don’t know enough about your situation to know what the goals are for each of these small groups, but you do. So could you sit down and outline, like, okay. In a perfect world, which acknowledging that’s never gonna happen, but you could maybe get closer. In a perfect world, what would that look look like? Well, it would look like maybe I have a list of of outcomes for for each child on a paper and maybe, I’m able to later on, keep their work separate. I don’t know. Just kind of create an ideal and then take one step today to get a little bit closer to it.
It. Acknowledging again that that’s like the perfect ideal. You’re probably never gonna get there because you’re dealing with human beings. We’re disorganized and messy. But just what’s one step that could get you a little bit closer and then just tiny increments improving every single week or month.
Love that. Okay. Let’s move on to and this isn’t a question, but I’m like, it is a good topic. Self motivation. Like, what do you do when you are not motivated to do something? And and I feel like I remember this coming up on another panel, and I think you your answers were just amazing. So I I love this topic. Who wants to start it off?
Motivation. I mean, that’s just that’s kinda like balance. That’s kind of, like, kind of a lie. We wait for it, but it never shows up. We’re not gonna find it. It’s not on the floor where we’re gonna find it. You know, we have to take action first and then the motivation. We always have it backwards.
We take a little action first and then the motivation comes. Like, once you start, if you notice if you, like, start a workout or you start cleaning, then you’re like, oh, I’m motivated to finish cleaning my bathroom. You gotta take a little action first. And then also you’d have to be disciplined. Like, I’m never motivated to brush my teeth. I don’t know. Are you guys? Right? We’re just not but we’re not dramatic about it. We’re just self disciplined where we’re, like, twice a day brushing our teeth.
That’s it. There’s no mind drama about it. So it’s just about that self creating that self discipline of whatever you wanna do, whatever goal you have, every day, no matter what, we’re not waiting on motivation because you will wait forever. So don’t wait for motivation.
I have a I have a quick comment. I love what you said, Cammy, and tagging, I think, on that. I I like to think of motivation. When I, like, when I was talking back to the calendar, instead of putting what I need to do, I put the end result. So to put instead of just, like, brushing my teeth, it’s like, oh, I want to, I want to feel my mouth be refreshed throughout the day. I don’t want to have a bad, you know, just changing that a little bit. I think it helps so much. And I don’t like to use I have to.
I hate that I have to. I want to because I want the end result sometimes. Yeah. I don’t feel like it. Then I do say it. I just like, I feel like doing this, but I want to because and then always put the end result because it’s gonna make you like, I don’t I don’t feel like making cooking dinner for my kids, but I want my children to be healthy and have homemade meals. Try to get away, stay away from, don’t feel like that you have to feel like it. Just remember the end
of the result. I I will just add a little bit to Francine’s. I love time blocking my schedule. Right? So what what a time block does is it makes sure you don’t think about things that you don’t wanna do. So for example, I’m training for a race right now and there are days when I don’t wanna work out and do my training plan. So my time block says you wake up and you put your workout clothes and you go to the gym. You don’t think about it. You don’t sit there and lay in bed and go, gosh.
Today’s not really the day I wanted to run. Sorry. Like, you wake up and you go. And half the time, on the way to the gym, I’ll be like, oh, I don’t wanna be here, but I’m already on my way. It’s too late. So having that lock
The hardest part is getting going, and if you that decision out, like, no. It’s just happening. About it.
Just do the next thing on the schedule.
And that’s why, actually, I did see a comment here that actually was like brushing your teeth for her is a habit stacking trigger for her, and that’s so smart. You can make, like, I’m gonna brush my teeth, or it’s like, when my alarm goes off, I put on my running shoes. And then it’s like, yeah. I’m just I’m already doing it. Like, when you’re I don’t wanna do it, and you can just tell yourself I’m already doing it. Like, this is happening. Right? I can do this.
I think just from learning about my own ADHD, I would say in the past couple of years and understanding all of the compensating mechanisms that many of us with neurodivergent or diverse or very speedy brains as we have. I have realized, I like how we’re looking at the difference between habit and sort of this idea of self motivation and just to steal an amazing comment from Cammie right out of her playbook. Like, I think things like self motivation, just as she said balance, are kind of BS. I’m gonna call BS on them. I think what we need to do is we need to get really real with ourselves and say, okay, I’m gonna practice just not being motivated and getting it done anyway. And if that becomes, we’ll take another page out of James Clear’s habit stacking book, if that becomes something that you can make irresistible, visible, obvious. Great. But I think we need to just practice like, guess what? I even if I’ve time blocked, I love to time block as well.
But even if I decide to time block, I know that on Tuesday at 10:35, I’m not gonna wanna do my podcast. So I’m gonna practice now how I’m not gonna wanna do it. So how do I speak to myself with love, not judgment, not beating myself up When I don’t wanna do something, knowing that the muse of motivation will never come. And maybe I do just have it stack them have it stack that and, again, talk to my toddler self. I really love to have fun and pickleball is my jam. So if I’m like, okay, you’ve got a pickleball tournament at noon because you’ve finished, you know, your, your podcast by this time. If you don’t during that noon time of, you know, what I call adult recess, you’re not gonna be able to. So get yourself to the recess and get your stuff done.
That’s one way that I make it obvious, evident and totally just attractive. Knowing that motivation is not gonna work, knowing that I have with my speedy ADHD brain, I’m gonna have 16 other things that look so exciting. So I hope that helped.
Okay. Let’s go on to the next question because I wanna get to as many of these as we can. So Jen asks, I am a mentor teacher for 6 other teachers. What is the best way I can support them while still running my own classroom? Who wants to go first? And then I will definitely wanna share some stuff because but somebody else started off.
I would just say that I think this is a great example of just asking what kind of expectations they have first. Right? It’s very easy for us to get up in our head like a perfect mentor teacher is gonna look like this. Maybe your other teachers don’t really want you that involved, or maybe they want you involved in a different way than you would have anticipated. So even just having a quick conversation saying, hey. I am here to support you. You open lines of communication, and you say, I see it looking like maybe me checking in on you on Fridays or this or that. And then they can come back and say, actually, no. I I don’t want that.
I would prefer this. Or can I just reach out to you via text if I have a question? Or maybe I have a behavior issue and I need feedback on. Right? Like, opening those lines of communication first, I think, is probably gonna be your best bet.
Yeah. And, actually, what I was gonna say is very clearly along the lines with that too because, well, I haven’t actually been a mentor teacher for other teachers. I’m here running a team with 5 employees and contractors and our coaches and everything else. So what I have found is really helpful. Like, the biggest thing I feel like is clarity. It’s something I’ve been learning and still learning that sometimes, like, just being clear with what you are able to do and even what you expect from them, like, what you might need to in order to support them the best too. Again, just that communication piece and that clarity and boundaries. It’s kinda the same thing with, like, parents emailing.
Make sure that you’re like, these this is what I can help you, But also, you can still have your time to be, like, you know, this is my time. After this time, I don’t respond or whatever. Same type of thing. I would say that would be my biggest tip for that. K. 5th grade teacher so should we just do one person, one question so we can get through as many as we can? Just claim it if you want it. If you’re like, this is me, claim it, coaches. K.
5th grade teacher. I need to better establish better relationships with my students.
This is right. I’m. I will come back because that’s all I’m, about. I think connection before correction. I think it’s learning how to see what’s behind the behavior. That is because sometimes you just want to help them. And for us, help them is fix their behavior. And so I think the first, first, first step is just, like, build a connection with the students.
So how do you do that? How do you build a connection with them? You listen to them. You acknowledge them. You see you you try to put yourself in their shoes. Listening is very important in the validating. Sometimes we think when we are validating their emotions, we’re validating that we’re just saying that it’s okay, their behavior, but it’s not that what you’re saying. It’s just like, I get that you’re upset right now. I get that you upset. You’re not saying, yeah, it’s okay for you to throw things in your upset.
It’s like, I see you. So I think the very first step, it is really just connection before correction. Truly listen. Truly taking the time to validate them and their feelings. So once they see that and I think another thing is just what do children want. They want to be seen. They want to be heard. They want to feel loved, and they want to peep feel safe.
So it’s just just the things like structure, routine, offer choices, like, to help the autonomy. Everybody wants to feel like they’re in control. Like, kids want to have the autonomy. So when you on that, I think you’re going to have a better, I could say a million other things, but we need to get going. I think that’s one way I would start.
Amazing. Thank you, Francini. Okay. Next question. This one is a bit more of a teaching question. So we in on this panel, we usually do more, like, mindset coaching life coaching type questions, but I wanna say, does anyone wanna answer what is the best way to transition into your classroom after having an interim for the beginning of the school year till October?
I can take it. I have done a lot of transition from, you know, taking a sabbatical from coming back in. I think the biggest way to transition into your classroom after having an interim is to believe that you can. To believe that you’re an expert, that you are in charge, that you are completely in control, that you having thoughts like this transition will be seamless. I mean, even when it’s not, or, and even if it’s not, everything is figureoutable to take a page out of Marie Forleo to believe with certainty and to keep telling your brain and your toddler thoughts, no. I am better as a teacher because I’ve taken this time away. I’m better as a professional and an educator because I’ve had a different kind of, you know, experience as I transitioned back. I think it’s just believing, writing it down, and practicing those thoughts over and over.
The best way to transition into your classroom after having in the interim is to believe that you can.
I love that, Chrissy. Okay. Concerned with challenging behaviors due to ADHD and autism. I feel like that’s calling Francini’s name.
I love that, Trevor.
Do you know why I love this so much? Because I actually have 4 children with specialism and I have 2 with ADHD and one with autism. So I live the life and I have I have quite a few students in my classroom too with with those things. So you concerned with student challenging behavior. Okay. I wonder if we want to address your worries and your concern. I’m not sure. I want to make sure that I answered this question right. But if I’m not answering it right, put it on a comment so I can address it the right way.
So I’m gonna go one way, but if you feel like I’m not answering that, just say, that’s not what really what I wanna know about it. Okay. So when it comes with children with, ADHD, autism, or any challenging behavior, right, they are I think one of the things is our expectations. Right? We have certain expectations of children even the even when we know they have certain things, and we still have that, the expectation. So I don’t know if you want to, you’re concerned because of, your relationship with the child or because a child’s gonna fall behind or it is the environment in your classroom. If any of you understood it in a in a in a certain way that you wanna guide me to the right direction, but I want to make sure that I I give you at least some things for you to to have. So children with ADHD and autism, they usually have a lot of issue with executive functioning. Right? Like, their focus, their impulsivity.
They have hard time regulating their emotions. Right? So that’s when you really go into that inspector mode, and you’re just like, what is behind this child behavior? What’s going on? Go to the root cause. Don’t try to to fix the, the moving around. Right? This child doesn’t stay still. Just keep moving around. So what can I do to stop to give this child something to do so he stops moving around? Just, like, go into, like, what’s happening? Is that a transition? I noticed that every time before whatever, before lunchtime, That’s what happens. Start paying attention to what’s happening. The what’s happening before.
What’s gonna happen after. Like, I always talk a lot about check out what’s happening, what is behind the behavior. Behavior is a way to communicate. The child’s trying to communicate. Something is happening here. Right? And they do not know how to tell you. So what you’re gonna see is the behavior, and sometimes you’re gonna see the secondary emotion, which is gonna be frustration or or or it’s gonna be they’re gonna be mad and you know? And not so much about the fur the the, primary emotion and the need that’s going unmet. Sometimes it’s there’s one need in there that’s going unmet.
Lack of autonomy. Like, the show’s being said to do you have to do this and do do that and do that and do that, and do that.
And you’re just
like and children with autism and ADHD and all the children. Right? But but these these kids, they get affected even more, I think, like, deeper when some of these things are not. So I I would just, number 1, connect with them. Try to connect with them before you correct. And then 2, check their behavior and see what’s behind their behavior.
Love that, Francini. Okay. Next one. And this one’s not as much a question, but I feel like it’s more like kinda some coaching talking through the anxiety. So Angel is gonna be a new teacher in a fall program, passed all the licensing tests, and will be completing her degree while teaching this year and feeling some stress and anxiety. Who wants to take this one?
I I will just speak a little bit to the stress of, unknown expectations. Right? So you’re heading into a big transition. Right? This is a big life change. I guarantee your brain is dealing with a lot of emotions right now. Probably, likely, just from my own experience, some overwhelm, you’re saying that stress. Imposter syndrome. Anytime we go into a new career, we start to feel like I don’t belong here. I don’t know all the things.
I don’t know the jargon, the lingo. Maybe you’re even reading comments going, what’s that? I don’t know that acronym. Right? Because it’s a new world and and things are a little bit strange. So just acknowledge all those things. This happens in business a lot too. I talk to my clients a lot. It’s like imposter syndrome and overwhelm and all these feelings are totally normal and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. But if you’d like to eliminate some of those that stress, just ask yourself where the stress is coming from.
Right? Our emotions come from some thoughts that are that are causing us to feel a certain way. Is the thought that you’re you don’t know if you’re gonna get a job? Is the thought you don’t know, how to do this job? Is the thought right? And this it’s likely a collection of them because your brain sounds like it’s going a 1000000 different ways right now. See if you can identify doing a brain dump is really useful for this. You sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, and you just write everything that’s in your thought around this situation right now. I’m feeling stressed. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m feeling like I might not get a job. I’m feeling like I don’t know.
All the things. I’m feeling, like, excited that I passed the test, but also worried that that the future is not gonna look like what I thought or I’m not gonna know how to do with deal with behaviors just when I get in the classroom, whatever it may be. Sometimes just putting that all on paper can let your brain rest a minute and go, okay. It’s almost like all the different parts of your brain are like, okay. I’ve warned her now. I’ve told her all the things that I’m worried about, and now she’s in charge. And and then your grown up part of your brain can just be like, okay. We’re gonna make this, and how we’re gonna be stressed, and we’re gonna feel like impostors, and we’re gonna feel confused and and and not know what’s going on.
And it’s all okay. It’s all exactly like every teacher on this call has likely felt at one point in her career or another, and probably regularly, probably at the beginning of every school year, it’s all okay. It’s just important to acknowledge these feelings and and give them the attention they deserve. Okay. I feel that you think that you’re not gonna know what you’re what you’re doing. That’s okay. We all feel like that sometimes. I don’t know if that helps.
I love that. And it was kinda like talking to that part of yourself because we’re talking a lot yesterday. Inside out too came up because anxiety is one of the emotions in that. And we we didn’t really dive into parts work, but it was briefly mentioned. And it’s like you were talking about kinda almost taught like, reassuring that part of yourself that’s feeling so anxious about this, everything you were saying. I love that. Okay. I’m thinking also can
I go back just very quickly? Because I saw Kim Gerbil’s comment, and I address a lot about what to do with the child. And I didn’t address her as a teacher. And she was I don’t know if she’s the one that’s asked the question, but she just said that she cried in the car and after thinking about the special education class
So I just wanna just very, very quickly. So this is where I actually spend most of my time is just spending time with you. Like, sometimes we’re just thinking about the child, the child, the child. Whatever I’m teaching you to do with the child, do with you first. Connect with yourself. Try to check it out what’s behind your behavior. Of course, you cry. Like like, acknowledge yourself.
Validate your own feelings. Process your feelings. Spend time with yourself. Love on you. You have all the reasons to be throwing a fit. Right? The same way they were looking at the child. They were not just judging the child because of the behavior. Don’t judge yourself because behavior.
Loving you took care of you, and whatever I’m telling you to do with the child, do to yourself first.
Love that, Francini. Okay. I’m thinking we have Chrissy do this next one. Hope you don’t mind on me calling you on you, Chrissy, because we haven’t heard from you for a sec, and the next one is definitely a CAMI one.
Okay. I love this. This is from Tara Strasburg. Sorry if I mispronounced your name. How do you approach difficult conversations with other teachers and admin? IEPs, not being met negativity in the workplace. This is my jam in terms of difficult conversations. Okay. Again, I know we kinda keep going back, but I like to just ask myself, okay, what’s difficult about this conversation? If it’s a necessary conversation, if it’s a needed conversation, as an educator, you know, for over 2 decades in the classroom from grades 2 through seniors, I would say, is this, I would just go through, is this a conversation that is important and student focused.
Yes. If that is it, then I’m doing my job. Right? Sure. But it could still be difficult. So let’s dive into that. The idea of IEP is not being met and negativity in the workplace. Gang, we cannot control how other colleagues and other educators and other people deal with IEPs. We can only control what we do.
We can only control whether we have that student in specials or in special ed or in your classroom. So I know that some of us, I know I did as a, as a teacher, even, especially before coaching, I would take up the white night, you know, sort of thing, and I would charge in on my horse and try to heal everyone and everything and do all the things and make sure IEPs were getting met from AZ, but then I realized, oh, shoot. I can only control what I think, what I feel, what I do. So number 1, clean up your side of the street and please stay on your side of the street of the teaching street. And then number 2, this idea of negativity in the workplace, being able to say to a colleague, Hey, when you are in a public space and maybe in the photocopy room, you’re going on and on about politics or about something that is happening for you, but it it is not adding to a positive environment. I’m just gonna maybe we can have a code word. Maybe we can make it into a game. Maybe I can just be like artichoke, pineapple, you know, algebra, whatever it is, whatever fun thing you wanna do.
I would always say with difficult conversations with myself, I would say, how can I make this more fun? Right? How can I come from a place of love? And, how can I just control my thoughts and feelings and just question whether it’s or not? Maybe it’s your job. And again, if it’s student focused, it is your job. And even if it’s a tough conversation with parents, with the principal, you are an example of what’s possible for other colleagues. They’re gonna see you raise your hand and say that difficult thing in faculty meeting and and they’re gonna go, oh, I can say that. I know some of this takes courage. I get it, but you can do it. Okay? You can have your back on it, and you can say this is not difficult because it’s necessary. It’s necessary for my mental health to be able to walk into a public space and say, yo, yo, I don’t wanna hear about, you know, whatever it is.
And that person can also honor, you know, that, or you can create a clear boundaries. Boundaries are what we do for ourselves. We say, you know, if I hear the presidential candidates’ names mentioned, I will leave the conversation. I will just leave the room. That is something you do no matter what. So you get to decide what’s right for you.
I think a lot of us can relate to that one right now, Chrissy. But hear anything one more time. Yeah. Okay.
So, you know, I know we love to empty out as teachers and I think there’s a safe space. I call it swamping out and I do it with 1 girlfriend with the door closed. Tears can come out. We shut it and we put it all in the swamp and then we’re done. But you know, if somebody wants to swamp with you over and over and over again, remember you’re not the life coach for your school. Not yet. Unless you choose to be, but you choose and decide how you wanna support others. And if you wanna hear about that stuff again and again and again and again.
So that’s a good point, Kels.
Okay. She had a follow-up here. She said, I am the special education teacher and case manager, so I feel like it is my responsibility to make sure the IUPs are followed.
Okay. Thank you for that extra information. Then, yeah, it is a 100% your job. And I think I think conversations about IEPs, I think you state what what the expectations are, what each student needs, and then I think you just kinda keep reminding and reminding you’re clear and you’re factual. Literally, if you need to read the IEP to the teacher over and over again, I think you do that. And you’re just like, okay, for the 27th time. This student needs and, you know, then you’re gonna let the administration take it from there.
Yes. So, yeah, we’re not saying to, like, ignore the IEP or anything like that. We’re just saying that we’ll do everything in our control. Right? Okay. So, Cammie, I thought this one is perfect for you. I’m on Ozempic. That’s how you say it. Right? And I’ve lost perfect.
I’m like, I’ve read it so many times online, and then I’m like, wait. Have I even been you know when you’ve been only reading something online? Anyway, I’ve lost £45. I think I should stop taking it, but I’m so afraid I will gain the weight back. I’ve lost weight before and gained it back. How can I start maintaining my weight without the medication?
Oh, good question. Latrice, £45 was amazing. I hope you’re celebrating yourself. That is a lot of weight. £45. And I know enough about this prescription to tell you that you did not not make, you know, lifestyle changes and lose that weight. I know that you have been making changes, so you need to acknowledge that and celebrate that. And, also, I see you said you’re afraid you might gain it back, and that’s okay you’re afraid.
Like, your brain wants to let you know that it’s concerned about that and it needs to be acknowledged, so it’s like, okay, brain. I hear you. Opinion is noted. Thank you so much. But, also, that is a complete lie. Complete lie. Just because you’ve gained it back in the past means zero to do with your future. Absolutely 0.
You know, there’s a lot of people that maybe did yo quote yo yo diet for a while, but then they do find something that that works for them lifestyle wise, and they never go back. And that is what I think is happening for you, Latrice. This is the very last time you’re gonna lose the weight. You don’t have to worry. You are making the lifestyle changes. And just remember whatever you whatever you do to lose the weight, you do need to continue to do. So that’s why, you know, we do recommend the the small changes. Like, can you do a 30 minute walk a day? Can you have more water, you know, and less soda per day? Maybe add a serving of fruits and vegetables.
And if you are gonna lower your calories just by a little bit, you don’t wanna, like, be like, oh, I’m only having 800 calories a day. Don’t set yourself up for failure that way. You’ll be starving, and then you’ll get in that binge restrict cycle where you’re just starving, and then you’re gonna restrict again, and then you’re gonna binge. We could talk all day about this. And if you want, we can do 1 on 1 with that, but don’t worry about it. You will you will hit your goals as long as you have that thought of this is the last time. Like, I’m doing this. You are making lifestyle changes now.
Don’t look at the past. The past is gone, has nothing to do with your future. We don’t need to worry about that anymore. Congratulations. That’s awesome.
Yes. I own that win.
That’s huge. Interesting thing though about Latrice’s comment. She says, I’ve gained weight before and I’m worried about, I’m sorry, I’ve gained I’ve lost weight before and gained it back, so I’m worried about that. But she’s not acknowledging that she already lost the £45. That’s a past we can celebrate. Yeah. Back. You’ve already lost it before.
You know how to do that.
You know how to do it. And the other thing that I noticed here too, it’s what Brooke Castillo, all of our mentors talks about about being past focused or future focused. And when we’re past focused, we’re looking at, like, you know, in the past, I did this and that said I couldn’t do it. So that means I can’t do it now. When really it’s like, you could tell yourself I did just lose this weight, and I’m looking to the future, and now I’m going to keep it off. I don’t need to be like, oh, because I gained it back once, that means it’s going to happen again. If you tell yourself that, then, I mean, through the model, that probably will be a self fulfilling prophecy. But if you tell yourself, like, Cammy was saying, that you can do it.
And, also, Latrice, I know you are in the club. I know you get coaching. So, like, we are here to have your back too all along the way. So you’ve got this. Mindset is way more about that and the habits and all of that than it is anything else. And since you are doing that, you are here on this call, that’s saying a lot too. Look at those little wins. Love it.
Okay. We probably have time for this one last question because we need to end on time because we have another roundtable to write at 2. So Bernice asks, how would you handle multiple complaints from students regarding another teacher? Then you hear how she talks to about students, and admin is calling everyone in to see what is happening, and the teachers want to circle the wagons, but you feel admin needs to know, and then you will be the rat. Who can relate to that? Like, I don’t wanna be the rat. And that’s something we’re telling ourselves. Right? Who wants Chrissy Chrissy is raising your hand, or you want
That’s that’s very dramatic. The rat was very dramatic there.
Yeah. I I was just literally saying that I have lived that situation where my mind has that has said, oh, I don’t wanna be the rat. I don’t wanna be the one who is the truth speaker. Kind of what we’re talking about earlier, you know, who’s willing to say the thing that must be said. But I think you go through, you know, what am I losing? What am I gaining by staying silent? I think you go through that as well and look at your thoughts on both sides. I don’t know. Other coaches, what do you think about this? I think there’s a way to also deliver this information to an admin that you aren’t the rat. I mean, that’s just a Yeah.
That’s a thought. That’s just a a word in your brain that you’re putting onto yourself. I hope never. Right?
Yeah. I mean, I kind of have some thoughts if unless anybody else wants to share. Kind of like what Chrissy was talking about with difficult conversations. I don’t know. Whoever’s read the book crucial conversations, I mentioned it yesterday too. It’s really great. And this, like, it sounds like you’re feeling like it’s a crucial conversation. Like, I think it needs to happen.
Like, the admin needs to know, but it’s gonna impact relationships. I’m going to be the rat. You know? And in that book, they call that the fool’s choice, thinking that you can only have 1 or the other. You can only have this conversation. But if you have this conversation, it is going to, you know, ruin relationships or whatever. They call that the fool’s choice because there is a way to go about conversations with more love, with more, like, I don’t know, just like sharing the information, sharing facts, but sharing the whys, sharing the full picture, not just like this is what’s happening, but like this is what’s happening and I’m concerned because of this. And I know you might even think this and that I’m, you know, just tell the full story. Tell, like, even that you’re worried that I don’t wanna be seen as like, you can even say that if you want, whatever you feel comfortable with, but just tell it with your heart.
And I will also suggest for any of you who are in educate and rejuvenate club, I have a whole call about this. So find the replay. It’s called how to have difficult conversations, where we basically break down the book crucial conversations in a 1 hour call. So check that out for those of you in there. Okay. But anybody else have anything to add?
I think it’s all it’s all, depends on I think the biggest thing is the cognitive dissonance. Right? Like, what what is that? It’s just when your behavior doesn’t align with your belief. So if you believe that talking about this, it’s it’s the right thing to do. Right? If your your behavior is going with your bill, Yeah. You’re still gonna maybe feel uncomfortable because what you think they’re gonna think about you. Right? But is that worth it? I’m like, sometimes I just sit with myself. I said, would I rather just, like, not do the right thing, which I believe is the right thing. Right? It’s my belief system.
And just to be liked to people, please, or I’m gonna be okay. I know how to take care of myself. I know that I’m creating my emotions with my thoughts, but I know I usually have this line of thought when people think certain things about me and but I know how to take care of me. And even though I know I’m the one that’s creating with my thoughts, but I know how to take care of me. And I probably gonna feel, this or that. And there’s some people that may gonna be on your side. Some people are gonna call you the way, like, it doesn’t matter. Even if you address it nicely.
If you don’t dress it nicely, sometimes it’s gonna be I think it’s gonna be inevitable for some people. They already created in their mind how they’re gonna think about you, and you can’t change that. And and it doesn’t really matter because do you want them to be your friend anyway? You want people that have the same belief system and I’ll you know, with you. So I think at the end of the day is how do you wanna be? Who do you wanna be at the end of the day and learning how to take care of you and your feelings once you’re there?
Love that, Francine. And I think we all are just like, yes. Amen to all of that. And I love seeing in the chat everybody saying that they got what they need out of this. And what I love is that not everybody here, we have, you know, way more people in here than asked a question. But whether or not we answer a question of yours, you likely gained something out of it. And that’s what we find always happens with these panels or with the group coaching calls that we do. Before we close, I would love to give the 4 of you each an opportunity to just share, keep it quick.
So, like, 30 seconds max each. So Chrissy will have you actually, let us go backwards this time. Cammy, we’ll have you start.
Yeah. What are we doing?
Oh, we are just 30 seconds or less telling them where they can find and connect with you.
Oh, yes. Yes. Come connect with me on social media, under Cammie Bisson on everything. I haven’t launched my podcast yet. Don’t be mad at me, Bonnie, but the show’s coming. I put my handle on the chat. Come follow me on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok or wherever. We have lots of fun there.
And then yes. Sorry. That was my 30 seconds. But thanks for coming today, guys. It’s been super fun.
These these panels are so fun because we cover so many, a variety of topics and but we all have our own expertises. And so mine is business and homeschooling, obviously. Come join me also on Instagram. I’m Bonnie or my website is also Bonniewiscum dot com, especially if you have started a business or interested in starting a business. I got lots to say about that.
Also, if you are platinum or have a club membership, Bonnie did sessions in the side hustle one. Watch for those. They’re great. Kate, Francini.

I my specialty is helping mamas and teachers burn out what they have children with special needs or challenging behavior. You can find me on Facebook, Francineascoachingorinstagramandtiktokmommentaljam.

Okay. And then Chrissy.

Great. So I am the executive function coach for teachers who want to get their shizzle done. Anything you wanna get done, you can find me over at the chrissyconcept.com. I put it in the comment section, but, of course, my passion and love is over here at wife teaching mommy. So you can also find me once a month at least, coaching, answering your questions, being in this mindset work with you.

Yes. Like Christy mentioned, everybody here does their own calls in the educate and rejuvenate club. So every single one of us, if you if you decide to join us, so those of you who already are, if you haven’t been coming, just remember, we are all your coaches, all 5 of us here cheering you on. If you enjoyed this episode, please hit subscribe so you don’t miss the next one. And if you’re hungry for more, be sure to check out the book that I wrote. It’s called Educate and Rejuvenate, a 3 step guide to revitalize your teaching, renew your spirit, and reignite your passion for life. It is scheduled to be released in the summer of 2024. This book takes all the life coaching skills we talk about here on the podcast and puts them together in one easy to understand guide.

Plus, when you pre order, you’ll receive a PDF workbook and additional resources to deepen your understanding and application of the concepts we’ve covered on the book and on this podcast. You won’t find these resources anywhere else. Visit the link in the show notes to join the wait list, and be the 1st to know when the book becomes available for pre order. Let’s continue this journey of growth and rejuvenation together. Until next time.

More about Educate & Rejuvenate: The Podcast

Being an educator is beyond a full-time job. Whether you’re a teacher or a homeschool parent, the everyday to-do list is endless. Between lesson planning, grading, meetings, and actually teaching, it probably feels impossible to show up for your students without dropping the ball in other areas of your life.

Educate & Rejuvenate: The Podcast is the show that will bring you the teacher tips, practical strategies, and inspiration that you need to relieve the stress and overwhelm of your day-to-day. Your host, Kelsey Sorenson, is a former teacher and substitute turned homeschool mom. Tune in weekly to hear Kelsey and her guests cheer you on and help you thrive as a wife, teacher, and mommy. Because with a little support and community, you can do it all. For access to every single Wife Teacher Mommy resource, join the club at educateandrejuvenate.com/club.

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