Teacher Mindset: The 5 Step Framework to Change the Way You Think About Teaching and Life [episode 39]

Teacher mindset: the 5 step framework with teacher life coach Chrissy Nichols

Click below to hear about teacher mindset & the 5 step framework that will shift the way you think about teaching and life:

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I’m SO excited for you! Do you know why? Because we’ve got something for you in this episode that will change the way you think about teaching and life!

Last week we did a special FREE open coaching call with our certified teacher life coach, Chrissy Nichols. This call was for anyone that wanted to come and it ended up being SO amazing. We discussed teacher mindset & the 5-Step Framework that will CHANGE the Way You Think About Teaching (And Life!). So we turned this amazing Coaching Call into today’s episode all about the 5-Step Framework!

When I discovered this 5-Step Framework almost 3 years ago… it was a game changer for me. I wish I could go back and “discover” it all over again. It was so fun and special to be able to watch hundreds of other teachers tune in and watch as four other teachers experienced this framework for the first time! We got to watch them start changing the way they think about teaching and life.

This 5 step framework is SUPER simple- once you learn it, you can’t UN-learn it!

Key points about teacher mindset from our live coaching call episode on the 5 Step Framework:

We discuss how creating a mindset shift is beneficial for not just your teacher life, but your life in general
Teacher Jess is coached on how to be confident and set boundaries with a confrontational colleague
Teacher Ashley is coached on dealing with a loud and distracting student and learned ways to respond more positively and less emotionally
Admin Seth is coached on staying positive and realistic when dealing with a difficult teacher

Empowering Teachers Through Understanding and Engagement

Teaching is one of the most rewarding jobs, but it’s not without its challenges—especially when faced with frustration and anxiety in the classroom. Dive into mindset training for teachers and discover how shifting perspectives can turn classroom struggles into opportunities for growth and connection. Let’s talk about how to empower educators through understanding and engagement.

What is Mindset Training for Teachers?

We all know that teaching can be a rollercoaster of emotions—one minute you’re on cloud nine because a lesson went just right, and the next, you’re trying to keep your cool when a student pushes your last button. Mindset training for teachers is all about helping you navigate those ups and downs with a fresh perspective, so you can stay grounded, connected, and empowered in the classroom.

Mindset training is like a backstage pass to your own thoughts and reactions. It’s about recognizing the frustration, anxiety, and even anger that can bubble up when student behaviors get tough. Instead of letting those feelings run the show, mindset training teaches you to pause, reflect, and approach each challenge with curiosity and understanding. It’s not about putting on rose-colored glasses; it’s about reframing your approach so you’re in the driver’s seat, not just reacting on autopilot.

In this episode of “Wife Teacher Mommy: The Podcast,” our coaches tackled these very struggles head-on, reminding teachers that feeling frustrated is completely normal. The trick is learning to catch those emotions and redirect them. Imagine turning that disruptive behavior into a moment where you connect with your students in a new way—like flipping the script to see their actions not just as challenges, but as chances to engage differently. That’s mindset training in action.

How to Change Teacher Mindset

So, how do we actually shift that mindset? It starts with awareness. The first step is simply noticing how much power you’re giving to those tough moments. Are you letting one student’s behavior dictate your whole mood, or are you able to take a step back and see the bigger picture? Mindset training encourages teachers to pause, breathe, and assess what’s really going on.

One of the most powerful tools is coaching, like what the Wife Teacher Mommy Club offers. It’s all about creating a space where teachers can reflect, ask questions, and try new approaches without fear of judgment. One of our coaches, Chrissy, talked about viewing student behavior as a kind of superpower—a quirky, sometimes frustrating, but unique way that students express themselves. Instead of battling that behavior, how about finding ways to channel it positively? It’s all about flipping those “ugh” moments into “aha” moments.

Changing your mindset isn’t a one-and-done deal; it’s an ongoing process. It’s about being open to new strategies, willing to experiment, and ready to shake things up when the old ways just aren’t cutting it. Embrace the messiness of teaching and see each challenge as a chance to grow—not just for your students, but for yourself too.

In the coaching call, we also touched on handling confrontations with colleagues, which—let’s be honest—can be just as tricky as managing student behavior. The key takeaway? Stay self-aware and neutral. Don’t let defensiveness cloud your judgment. Whether it’s a student acting out or a colleague throwing shade, mindset training gives you the tools to stay cool, calm, and collected.

Final Thoughts

Mindset training for teachers is more than just a buzzword; it’s a game-changer. It’s about reclaiming your power and transforming your approach to every interaction in the classroom. By embracing coaching, staying curious, and being willing to grow, teachers can create a ripple effect of positivity and connection in their classrooms.

The support from communities like the Wife Teacher Mommy Club provides that extra lift—coaching, resources, and a tribe of fellow educators all navigating the same ups and downs. Together, you can transform those moments of frustration into stepping stones toward a more engaging, empowered teaching experience. So, take that mindset shift, and run with it—you’ve got this!

Resources mentioned:

Teacher mindset-related episodes and blog posts:

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Read the transcript for episode #39 Teacher Mindset, below:

You are listening to episode number 39 of wife teacher mommy, the podcast. The 5 step framework that will change the way you think about teaching and life. Now I promise I’m not exaggerating with this. If you feel stuck or you just wanna improve your life in some way, we are giving you some free coaching right here on the podcast today.

Speaker B 00:01:04 – 00:01:31

I’m so glad you’re here listening to wife, teacher, mommy, the podcast today. I’m your host, Kelsey Sorensen, a former elementary teacher turned homeschool mom. Whether you are a teacher or a homeschool parent, my goal at Wife Teacher Mommy is to provide you with both teaching ideas and mindset tools to help you live your absolute best teacher life. Be sure to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast app. So you don’t miss an episode. Now let’s go.

Speaker A 00:01:40 – 00:02:28

I have been looking forward to airing this episode, this replay of coaching for quite some time. We had an incredible coaching call on Facebook live on September 28th, and I will link to the video version in the show notes if you’d like to watch the video. But one of the other amazing things about coaching is being able to just listen to it, to just plug in your AirPods or whatever you use and listen to it on the go in podcast format. It’s honestly one of my favorite things. Like, whenever I’m feeling a little bit stuck or stressed out or if I’m just you know, I just need a little pick me up. I just plug in my AirPods that go to one of my private podcasts that has coaching, and I listen to it. But I wanna explain this a little bit more before we really dive into the just so you kind of know what we’re doing. But I also want to mention that this will be the last of the Tuesday episodes.

Speaker A 00:02:28 – 00:03:00

So I mentioned that I was going to go through, through to October. So I went through the 1st week of October with 2 episodes on the podcast, and now we’re going back to just the Friday episodes. Episode. So if you weren’t able to quite keep up, I know that school has starting school is a bit crazy. We’re slowing it down a little bit so you can go back and catch up on all the episodes we’ve done. They’ve been a lot of fun. I hope they’ve been helpful, and they’re always here, so you can always go back and listen to them whenever. So today, our life coach, Chrissy Nichols from the Chrissy concept, she is amazing.

Speaker A 00:03:00 – 00:03:32

You might have heard her on some previous episodes of the podcast. She was on episode 3 where we talked about grading on the weekends, episode 10 when we talked about end of your fatigue, and on episode 26 when we kinda gave a little sneak peek about what coaching is all about. But this isn’t just a sneak peek. This is, like, going all in. You were getting full on coaching today. I’m super excited. Be sure to check out those previous episodes as well if you enjoyed this one. But in this coaching today, she is going to teach us the self coaching model that we use inside our coaching in the club.

Speaker A 00:03:32 – 00:04:02

So she’s going to teach it. It’s called the model. It was created by Brooke Castillo, who was Christie’s mentor. She’s the owner of the Life Coach School. And as Brooke says, she didn’t create this model. It’s just the truth, but she created a framework that makes it easier for us to understand what’s going on inside our minds. And it’s made a huge difference for me in my life, and I’m not going to get into that whole story today because it is a long story. It I told a little bit on it about it on episode 3 of the podcast, but I plan on sharing even more in just a couple of weeks.

Speaker A 00:04:03 – 00:04:32

So stay tuned for that episode. But when I discovered this 5 Step Framework almost 3 years ago, it was a total game changer for me. And I wish I could just go back and discover it all over again. But what is potentially even better is that I get to watch you and hundreds of other teachers experience it for the first time. And that is just incredible for me. I love seeing it make the difference for teachers because right now, you guys, you need it. You need it so much. There’s so many stressful things going on, but this framework is super simple.

Speaker A 00:04:32 – 00:05:00

Once you learn it, you really can’t unlearn it. You’ll start seeing how, oh my goodness, like, that is a circumstance, that is a thought. You’re going to start recognizing this in your life, especially if you, like, listen to this, if you kind of, like, write it down or listen to it again and, you know, really pay attention. You’re going to see how it really can shift your mindset in such an incredible positive way. So I’m really excited. So let’s dive into the coaching call.

Speaker B 00:05:08 – 00:05:37

We are live. Hello, everybody. Chrissy and I are so excited to be here with all of you today tonight on this beautiful, beautiful Wednesday night. We’ve been looking forward to this for a while now. We’ve been like, we love doing our coaching. Well, Chrissy is coaching, but we love doing it, and we’re excited to bring it here on Facebook today. So, when you’re tuning in, looks like we have some friends joining us already. I’m so excited.

Speaker B 00:05:37 – 00:05:54

I’m so excited for everybody who’s here. So comment, tell us where you’re tuning in from what you teach and tell us if you’ve been on a coaching call before. Hi, Erica. So glad you’re here. We’re just so excited to be here. So we’ll take just a few minutes to welcome everybody. Jennifer. Welcome.

Speaker B 00:05:54 – 00:06:11

We’re not gonna take too long though, because we really wanna jump right in, but comment anytime. Chrissy’s got a lot to teach us. Hello, Jessica. Erica says it’s a great giveaway. Yeah. We’re so excited. Jennifer says, hello, Tell us where you’re tuning in from. If you comment, you’ll be entered to win an amazing teacher backpack.

Speaker B 00:06:11 – 00:06:23

Super excited. I might have to go run and grab it and let Chrissy talk for a minute because, like, you just love everybody. Hello, Michelle, Abby. Chrissy, can you welcome people for a sec? Yeah. Backpack to show you all.

Speaker C 00:06:23 – 00:06:34

Yes. Yes. Yes. I am so excited to be here. Who’s in here? Welcome. Look at this backpack. Kelsey, tell us about that. So I’ve been

Speaker B 00:06:34 – 00:06:53

using it for 3 years now. I absolutely love it. We’ve given it away a bunch of times. Actually, during our big event, educate and rejuvenate, we posted about it and, like, 20 people went and bought it. We’re all commenting, I don’t mind. I don’t mind. Like, it’s just so cute. It’s been working strong for 3 years now.

Speaker B 00:06:53 – 00:07:12

Only just barely I had one of the little, buckles break or oh, but I fixed no. Right here. So that buckle broke off. But it’s been 3 years and I use this, like, every day. Like, you can see I probably need to, like, wash it. So it’s incredible. It fits my laptop, my books, like, everything. So we’re giving a one away to somebody.

Speaker B 00:07:12 – 00:07:42

Hi, Kenzie. Hi, Allison, Gail, or let’s see. Orlando, Michelle, Tina, Abby, Darcy, Anne, Jessica, Lena, Anne, Abby, Jennifer from Northern Indiana, 1st year in 1st grade after 16 years in 5th grade. 1st coaching call. Who’s on a 1st coaching call comment below if you’re it’s your 1st coaching call ever. And then also comment if it’s your you’ve been here before and you’re here again. That is a huge win. Victoria says she’s from Butte, Montana.

Speaker B 00:07:42 – 00:08:00

I’m currently getting a bachelor’s in elementary education and special ed wants to be a kindergarten teacher. Awesome. You are totally in the right place. Christina, hello from Kentucky. Jennica, first time. I love seeing you first timers here. Melissa, hello. You guys, if you’re here for the first time, I am so excited for you.

Speaker B 00:08:00 – 00:08:06

Like, I wish I were here for the first time again because when I learned this, it totally blew my mind. Right, Chrissy?

Speaker C 00:08:06 – 00:08:28

Totally. This is a game changer. You’ll wanna stay on all night and even first timers, you will wanna get coached. I’m gonna talk about how to do that, But you’ll just come on, and it’ll look like a conversation. Bring everything from your day, all your messy, all your gunk. Welcome. You’re exactly the right place. We’re so glad you’re here.

Speaker B 00:08:29 – 00:08:42

As Beth says, first coaching call outside of the summer event. So glad you came again. Allison, first timer. Michelle, first call. Orlando, first time me. First time Abby. Tina, Jessica says me. So happy that you’re all here.

Speaker B 00:08:43 – 00:08:50

I just wanna say I’m proud of you for taking this moment for yourself because it’s so easy to just be like, I don’t have time for that.

Speaker C 00:08:50 – 00:08:50

You know?

Speaker B 00:08:50 – 00:08:56

I don’t have time for this. So this is real self care we’re gonna do here, and I’m proud of you for being here and taking the time for that.

Speaker C 00:08:56 – 00:09:09

And, Kathy, at any time, I’m gonna really be centered here. I’m gonna be so focused on all of you that come on. Remind everyone how they can just hop on, how it’s gonna work.

Speaker B 00:09:09 – 00:09:31

Yeah. So when it’s time, it’s, well, I guess I could put the link now and we could just start aligning. So let me I will grab the link here in a sec. So as as soon as I pull myself off and Chrissy starts taking over, I will grab the link where you can come in. You can get in line. So I will put in there’s a little private chat when you get in here. I will put the order of people. We’re gonna get through as many as we can.

Speaker B 00:09:31 – 00:09:44

Right. And then you will just be waiting you’ll be in this little waiting room, and when it’s your turn, you’ll get put on the screen. So Okay. Does that is that anything perfect.

Speaker C 00:09:44 – 00:09:50

It’s just for me. If if there’s anything that you need me to do to hop them on, or will they just No.

Speaker B 00:09:50 – 00:09:56

I will I will take care of that. So you can just you can just coach your face off. I’m

Speaker C 00:09:57 – 00:10:19

gonna coach my face off. Okay. Thank you so much. Well, I hope everyone can see my screen because tonight, we’re gonna be talking about the model. My name is Krissy Nichols. I’m the owner and founder of the Krissy concept. Just like you, I was in the classroom for over 22 years. I’m still in the classroom.

Speaker C 00:10:19 – 00:11:25

I do a lot of 1 on 1 work and tutoring. Even as recently as last spring, I was in the classroom doing a maternity cover. So I had my coaching clients, and I was in the classroom again, and it was fantastic because I was able to teach in a mask, see the masks come off, experience all the things that I remembered about teaching before I became a coach. I became a coach for, first I went to coaching a little bit more about my story to, solve for burnout. So I was just in this space and a lot of my clients are aware, they still love teaching, but they just feel like there are a couple of things if only they knew, would help them stay in teaching. Or maybe they’re thinking about the next the next sort of, you know, role or something they wanna do in education or out of it. And so, they come to me, we talk about it. We also talk about time power, body balance, and relationships.

Speaker C 00:11:25 – 00:12:02

But that one thing I just told you about, that one tweak, if they only they knew, I became a coach, and I only coach teachers. And this is a lot of that just one thing. So if you’re here right now, that means great job, amazing work. I’m gonna teach you the model. It’s a 5 element, sort of 5 idea framework. And I got it from my coach and mentor, Brooke Castillo. She got it from all of her mentors. And the thing I love so much about the model, I’m gonna show it to you right now.

Speaker C 00:12:02 – 00:12:29

If you wanna take some notes, great idea. But, the model’s working whether we think it’s working or not. And as soon as you kinda become aware of the power of the model and how it’s working in all of our lives, it will blow your socks off. It’ll blow you away. Okay. So as I mentioned, as you can see here up in the model, there are 5 elements. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And let me explain these.

Speaker C 00:12:30 – 00:12:58

We’ve got a circumstance that just happens. So I want you to think about anything out there in teacher land, anything in the world that happens. We have to be able to prove it in a court of law. It’s the facts. And I also often think when I have a circumstance, it’s a fact and facts don’t hurt. They’re neutral. So fact, somebody walked into a room. Fact, I got a telephone call.

Speaker C 00:12:58 – 00:13:40

Fact, I got in my car. These are all facts. Because we have a human brain that’s working well and working very quickly, we have a thought about the facts. So the fact is something happens and then we create a thought or a story about what happens. Our brains love to make meaning. And just really quickly here as an aside, in coaching with my clients, I identified 2 parts of our brain. The prefrontal cortex or the PFC, it’s right here, right behind our eyebrows, and the primitive or primal brain. Now the primal or primitive brain, it’s only job is to keep you safe.

Speaker C 00:13:41 – 00:14:39

The prefrontal cortex is where we plan from, dream from, probably where you teach from. So you’ve got a circumstance, thoughts. The thoughts always drive a feeling, an emotion. So an emotion could be any emotion, either the sort of good or positive ones, quote unquote, I think they’re all equal and have equal wisdom for us, or the bad sort of negative ones that we tend to classify as sorrow or sadness, anxiety, nervousness. Sometimes a feeling will come in our body, and we can understand what we’re thinking to drive that feeling. From any feeling, happiness, joy, anxiety, we have a set of actions that we do. What we do, what we don’t do, which drives a result. K? So a circumstance drives a thought, creates a feeling, gives us our actions, what we do, what we don’t do, our behavior, gives us results.

Speaker C 00:14:40 – 00:15:01

Give us gives us our results. Now, yes, okay. Chrissy, I understand. A thought drives a feeling, creates actions, I get it. But let’s actually put this into something that actually happened to me. This very scenario happened to me when I was teaching. Okay. So, I wanna show this to you.

Speaker C 00:15:02 – 00:15:45

When I was teaching in dual a French dual language immersion, so I was a French teacher in immersion. I got an email and a phone call from my principal one day, and the principal, this is the fact, I can only put down facts. The principal said words, I would like to see you. And notice how I put that in quotes, kept it very neutral. We never put a thought in the circumstance line. So this is the situation, I got a message from my principal, I would like to see you. Now I’m gonna show you sort of the 2 paths that my brain actually eventually went down here. The very first way so I never felt like I had a good connection with this principal.

Speaker C 00:15:45 – 00:16:22

And the very first thought was, uh-oh, I did something really bad. Then the whole litany, that thought created a whole bouncy castle of thoughts. I’m gonna get fired, I did something wrong, I feel like an imposter. That created dread in my body. The emotion of dread. So my actions that came from dread, what I did or what I didn’t do, I avoided her email initially, I just didn’t respond. I, saw her coming down the hall. I physically avoided all contact.

Speaker C 00:16:22 – 00:16:48

The next day, she was trying to get a hold of me. I called in sick. I really thought I do not wanna get fired, but I was in a avoid avoid avoid mode. And then that result here was, I was not being a professional. I was not really being an adult, if truth be told. I really I was wrong. I was not acting like a professional in that moment. Excuse me.

Speaker C 00:16:48 – 00:17:26

So let me show you what actually really happened, and I’ll tell you the situation. The situation was hilarious. So I found out finally, this didn’t last very long, thank goodness, the principal said words, I I would like to see why, because the actual situation was, a New York Times journalist wanted to come to my class to interview me and my students about French dual immersion. Amazing. Right? But look at the different paths then my brain took. Yay. Maybe she wants to congratulate me. The New York Times is coming.

Speaker C 00:17:26 – 00:17:38

Right? Duh. Yeah. I thought that. Then I had a lot of excitement. I ran to her office once I realized that. I engaged with her. I was present. I was present with the journalist.

Speaker C 00:17:39 – 00:18:22

And what can you imagine that the end result was? Well, she congratulated me. This article in the New York Times was a big hit and led to, you know, more accolades, more awards, and I got to sort of congratulate myself. This, she congratulated me, the end result. I got to congratulate me through my actions, the excitement. I was present, I did engage, I did show up. So I just wanna point that out. Isn’t that amazing? Principal says words, I’d like to see you. We don’t know why, but look initially what my brain was running on this side.

Speaker C 00:18:23 – 00:19:04

Amazing. So I already see that there are maybe some folks that would love to be coached. I just wanna show you that we can put anything in the model. I would like to coach as many of you as possible, and we’re gonna start right now. We can put anything in the model. It can be something as little as, it could be also about teaching or not. Like, got in a fight with my husband, which would really turn into with the circumstance, husband and I said words, or, you know, you feel like a lesson plan totally bombed. So we’re gonna put that in the model.

Speaker C 00:19:04 – 00:20:14

Let’s just see what kinds of things your brain is offering, and we’re just gonna talk about it, and work it through. I’m hoping there’s not too much of a glare on my whiteboard to be able to see. So if you wanna start practicing this, and even you can right now, you can kinda just start writing all over the place. I just get a piece of paper just like this, and I just start writing c t f a r down the side. What’s the circumstance? What am I really dealing with here? What’s the thought I’m having about the circumstance? What’s the feeling that’s coming from that thought? The action, what I’m doing, what I’m not doing, and the end result. We always know that we have a really strong, model. If I go back to this one real fast, just wanna show you. Well, all this time we have a really strong model when the end result the result here is we don’t have it anymore, but I’m wrong.

Speaker C 00:20:15 – 00:21:03

Right? Which is kinda proving or I’m not doing professionally what I should be doing, which is avoiding someone, being in emotional childhood, not speaking to my boss. Right? That’s not something that I agreed to do contractually. That’s not how I wanna show up. It was this was not serving me. And luckily, my mind only ran this for a little while until this kicked in, and I realized that my result was being present, was engaging, was being able to be receptive in excitement to this journalist coming to my classroom. Okay. So it says, Chrissy, not sure if you’re seeing these chats. Okay.

Speaker C 00:21:05 – 00:21:30

Great. I just wanna yes. Thank you so much, Kelsey. I’m just seeing them now. I would love, love, love for everyone. And again, please feel free just to be brave, just to come on, have a quick conversation, even if you think whatever you’ve got going doesn’t fit into the model. Let’s put it in. Click on the link.

Speaker C 00:21:31 – 00:21:55

Click on the link and be brave. Come on down, get coached up. It’s super easy. We just look inside your mind, literally, we’re mind warriors, mind ninjas. We talk about your school day. So I wanna give you a couple of questions to help with that. Help you click that link. What is challenging you right now? In your classroom, think about it.

Speaker C 00:21:55 – 00:22:13

In your school, what or who is challenging you right now? It’s okay if you say, I might be challenging myself. Here’s the second problem reveal question. What would you like to be different at school?

Speaker D 00:22:13 – 00:22:15

Hello. How are you?

Speaker C 00:22:15 – 00:22:16

I’m well. How are you?

Speaker D 00:22:17 – 00:22:32

Good. Thanks. So, I have a circumstance at school that’s kind of a a sticky situation. I’m a supervising teacher because I work in a rural school, so I teach, but I also kind of do that administrative stuff.

Speaker C 00:22:32 – 00:22:36

Okay. And before you, keep going, can you tell me your name?

Speaker D 00:22:36 – 00:22:37

My name’s Seth.

Speaker C 00:22:38 – 00:22:45

Oh, Seth. Awesome. It’s really nice to meet you. And, what exactly do you teach, and where are you coming to us from, Seth?

Speaker D 00:22:45 – 00:22:51

I’m Montana, and I teach, running start kindergarten and kindergarten.

Speaker C 00:22:52 – 00:22:56

Very good. Very cool. And how long have you been in education, Seth?

Speaker D 00:22:57 – 00:22:59

This is my 17th year.

Speaker C 00:23:00 – 00:23:04

Amazing. Okay. I just wanted to have that background, and hello from Utah.

Speaker D 00:23:05 – 00:24:06

Hello. So, yeah. I I guess that some of my my issues that I’m having is I’m having a hard time, I guess, like, staying positive about the situation. And, I know my head is definitely running all different directions, and so I kinda liked how, you know, you said there’s a you know, there’s a occurrence or whatever happens, and then, you know, it goes from there. But, as soon as parents start getting involved, it kinda gets sticky. And so you are trying to, I’m trying to do the best I can to to represent my staff, but also, you know, make sure I’m representing the students as well. Okay. My what what I’m finding is that it’s just taking a toll on me personally because I’m kind of one of those people who takes everything on myself.

Speaker D 00:24:06 – 00:24:07

And so

Speaker C 00:24:08 – 00:24:45

I I I think what you bring up is so true. And any of us out here in teacher land who does a little bit of admin, especially if we’re in a rural context, so we have to do a little bit of everything. We’re the tech person and the photocopy, fixer, and we do the toilet rolls, and you’re nodding because it’s true, we do it all. Can understand all of these things, but I want you please protect the names of all the innocent. But I want you to tell me, a specific situation that is challenging for you. And again, we can change all of the names. It could be Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. You get to decide.

Speaker C 00:24:45 – 00:24:48

But tell me what’s really going on for you right now.

Speaker D 00:24:49 – 00:25:08

For me, it’s it’s a situation where I’m trying to help with in a classroom management type of situation. And so, teacher a is just really struggling in that way. And so, she, was

Speaker E 00:25:09 – 00:25:09

she

Speaker D 00:25:09 – 00:25:20

was trying to do things in in more of a disciplinarian way rather than, like, a classroom management way, which is difference between the 2.

Speaker C 00:25:20 – 00:25:34

And And I want you to just even notice I’m sorry. I’m gonna probably cut you off all over the place because I’m just trying to see this. It’s even interesting when you said teacher a is doing things in a disciplinary kinda way. That’s a total thought, Seth.

Speaker F 00:25:35 – 00:25:35

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:25:36 – 00:25:58

K? Rather than in a in a, you know, classroom modification way. And of course, we could go to all the educational theory. No. We could prove that this is classroom modification or this is, you know, a receptive classroom or whatever modality we’re choosing. Mhmm. But but is the situation here, Seth is observing teacher a?

Speaker F 00:25:58 – 00:25:59

Yes.

Speaker C 00:25:59 – 00:26:07

Okay. Cool. Let’s get so factual. So tell me, so Seth observes teacher a, and what happens?

Speaker D 00:26:10 – 00:26:29

It’s like a I feel, I guess what I’m observing and these are kids that I’ve had previously, so I I know they’re how they are. Mhmm. Yeah. It’s having a negative impact on them, the way things are being done.

Speaker E 00:26:29 – 00:26:30

And I

Speaker C 00:26:30 – 00:26:33

So that’s your that’s perfect. That’s your thought. Right?

Speaker D 00:26:33 – 00:26:33

Yes.

Speaker C 00:26:33 – 00:26:38

The way teacher a teaches is having a negative effect on the kids.

Speaker D 00:26:38 – 00:26:39

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:26:39 – 00:27:20

Is that right? Because that gets I I love that for you, Seth, because it gets to what we were just saying. I’m gonna move my f down a little. What we were saying about, oh, she’s more teacher a is more of a disciplinarian. That might sound really true. Like you’re just telling me the news, that’s a fact. Like, nope, Chrissy, that’s a fact. What she’s doing is having a negative impact. But I want you to know, this is a total thought in your brain, it’s a sentence in your brain.

Speaker C 00:27:20 – 00:27:33

But I wanna show you the power of this before we change anything, we wanna see what is. When you think that thought, the way teacher a, who’s teaching, is having a negative impact on the kids, how do you feel?

Speaker D 00:27:38 – 00:27:42

The only words I can come up with is mother bearish, you know, protective.

Speaker C 00:27:43 – 00:27:45

Okay. I love that. Protective of whom?

Speaker D 00:27:46 – 00:27:47

The children.

Speaker C 00:27:47 – 00:28:01

Okay. And from that place of protective, how are you showing up to teacher a and to her class? You said her. That’s why it’s why I’m using that.

Speaker D 00:28:01 – 00:28:05

That’s fine. Yeah. How am I showing up?

Speaker C 00:28:06 – 00:28:11

Like, from from protective, like you said, mother bear for the kids.

Speaker D 00:28:11 – 00:28:12

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:28:12 – 00:28:17

What are your actions toward? What are what is your own behavior towards teacher a?

Speaker D 00:28:19 – 00:28:35

Oh, I try I I’m trying to be, supportive, like a role like, I’m trying to go in with solutions, like, because I’ve been in this particular school for so long, I’m I’m trying to come in with solutions.

Speaker C 00:28:36 – 00:28:41

And what does that look like exactly? Enter classroom with advice, words, or

Speaker D 00:28:42 – 00:28:43

Advice. Okay.

Speaker C 00:28:45 – 00:28:51

Okay. How else are you from a place of protective, how else are you showing up?

Speaker D 00:28:52 – 00:28:58

Oh, I think I if I’m completely honest, I think I might be being defensive as well.

Speaker C 00:28:59 – 00:29:25

Oh, so good. Defensively. Oh my gosh, Seth. This is the magic of the model because when we start really from the outside, I watch yourself. When you have to explain it to a lady in big Oprah glasses on this call, you start to go, oh, yep. I can see it a little bit. I might be a little defensive. Makes perfect sense.

Speaker C 00:29:25 – 00:29:44

And again, I just wanna show you and everyone out there, nothing’s gone wrong if you’re a little bit defensive. It’s coming from this place of protective mama bear. It’s coming from this place of, hey. I know what’s here. I know how to teach these kids. I’ve had them.

Speaker D 00:29:44 – 00:29:46

Mhmm. Yeah.

Speaker C 00:29:47 – 00:29:50

Maybe even a little bit of my way is the right way.

Speaker D 00:29:52 – 00:30:13

Yeah. Maybe. I and I tried I tried when I talked to her to say, you know, I’m not saying I have all the answers because I don’t. I mean, you I think you a 100 years and truthfully not have all the answers, but I think that, I try to come in a way that, you know, I’ve done this and it has worked. I’m not saying that it will work for you, you know, but

Speaker C 00:30:14 – 00:30:26

k. What else are you doing when you’re feeling protective? Well what’s worked for you. This is what I’ve done. What else?

Speaker D 00:30:27 – 00:30:32

I think I have anxiety because of the impact that it’s having on the kids.

Speaker C 00:30:33 – 00:30:44

K. And what’s the anxiety fueling for you? What is anxiety having you do? How are you showing up when you’re feeling anxious?

Speaker A 00:30:48 – 00:30:48

Most of

Speaker D 00:30:48 – 00:30:54

the time, I’m showing up very unrested because I am in my head all the time trying to come up with an answer.

Speaker C 00:30:55 – 00:30:57

Yes. And why are you unrested?

Speaker D 00:30:58 – 00:31:22

Duh. Because I care. Like, I I I and probably because, like, I have parents, you know, constantly there, with their concerns and everything, and I I wanna make it right. But like I like I said, I just don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know that there’s a simple answer. Totally.

Speaker C 00:31:24 – 00:31:39

I love that you just said that. There’s that curiosity. I don’t know. Just gonna let you see on my board. Yeah. I don’t know if there’s a simple answer. Look at all I mean, everything that’s kind of running for you. You enter the classroom with advice.

Speaker C 00:31:41 – 00:31:52

Right? But you’re thinking about parent comments, parent feedback, of course, that’s running through your brain because you are protective and you want things to work.

Speaker E 00:31:52 – 00:31:53

And by

Speaker C 00:31:53 – 00:32:01

the way, Seth, I really hear that you want things to work not only for the kids, but you do want things to work for teacher a. Mhmm.

Speaker D 00:32:01 – 00:32:31

I I would I want I want her to be successful, you know, like, at our school. I just think that’s, it’s a different experience. You know, if you’ve worked in a rural school where it’s tiny and, you know, stuff, like, it it’s a different experience. And no matter how many times you tell people, they just don’t understand it until they’re submerged in it. And then for some people, it just doesn’t work. And I I want it to work for her, but I just don’t know.

Speaker C 00:32:31 – 00:33:11

Is this her 1st year in your school? It is. Okay. So if if you look at your list of actions too and maybe some of these I know I wove some some emotions in here because some of these sub emotions like defensive, anxiety, spinning, you really want an answer. You also said anxiety is causing, you’re not as rested as you wanna be. Okay. So also, let’s get really clear on what you’re not doing. You’re really curious on this call, which is amazing. But do you think when you walk in to see teacher a teach, are you in a space of total curiosity?

Speaker D 00:33:14 – 00:33:32

I do because I feel like as a teacher, I’m definitely I don’t know. I think teachers are lifelong learners. So anytime I go into a classroom, I whether they’re a 1st year teacher or not, I’m like, there’s something that I can learn from them that I probably don’t think about. So but do I go in,

Speaker C 00:33:33 – 00:33:40

Well, look at this thought. I just wanna point out. The way teacher a is teaching is having a negative impact on the kids.

Speaker D 00:33:40 – 00:33:41

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:33:42 – 00:33:51

That thought is not gonna serve and drive openness and curiosity and, like, seeing these teachers teaching like a lab.

Speaker D 00:33:53 – 00:34:22

Yeah. The the way that I go in truthfully is, first of all, I go in completely neutral. I don’t say anything, especially when I’m doing an observation type of situation. I’m a note taker, and so I just write down what I see. And then I can go back and reflect on it and come back with something productive. Because I know sometimes when I’m going in, it may not be with the clearest mind, and so I try to do it that way to take notes and just be, this is what I’m seeing. This is happening right now. This is happening with the others.

Speaker D 00:34:22 – 00:34:32

This is what’s happening. And then, like, I if I see something that I really like, I’ll put, you know, a positive or, oh, I like that or, you know, whatever.

Speaker C 00:34:32 – 00:35:36

Sure. But what I wanna offer is when you’re going in and and again, all of this is subconscious. What we’re doing here in coaching is we’re making that under the surface subconscious more conscious. The other thing too is as a principal and as an administrator, nothing has gone wrong here in terms of you love your kids, you love your parents, you know these kids, you know these families. You also want teacher a to succeed. However, your energy signature, you already are onto yourself, defensive, sometimes anxiety, unrested. If you think the way that teacher is, a, is having a negative impact on the kids, when you’re spinning out, when you’re staying up late because you wanna find a solution, when you want an answer, when you feel a little bit mama bear protective, defensive, like, you’re having a negative impact on yourself. And definitely, I just wanna put out there.

Speaker C 00:35:36 – 00:35:46

I mean, I don’t know. You know yourself best, Seth. But you might just energetically be carrying that negative impact to her.

Speaker D 00:35:47 – 00:35:48

It could be. Definitely.

Speaker C 00:35:49 – 00:35:59

And the fact the fact that you say could be is amazing in everything. Like, that is really good work that you’re seeing. Like, oh, what’s my part in all of this?

Speaker D 00:35:59 – 00:36:33

Mhmm. Oh, no. Definitely. And that’s something that I I think that’s another reason I’m unrested because I’m like, am I handling this correctly? Like, what am what am I doing to help the situation be better? You know, I I mean, I I know what I’m doing for the kids. I’m loving them regardless of what’s going on because that’s what they need. You know, they need when they see me, hug me, when they you know, all of those things. But what can I do to help her as well? Because I I that’s part of my job too is, you know, I represent everyone.

Speaker C 00:36:34 – 00:37:21

Exactly. All the stakeholders as you said in the beginning. My last question for you, and just think about this because this is the work even as you’re listening. And everybody out there, if I’m giving coaching to Seth, I’m about to, give coaching to the next person, whoever’s up next. But what I want Janice to see, what I want everyone to see is you can put your own circumstance here and you can figure out like, oh, okay. What’s another way to think about this? Like, the same circumstance, Seth observes teacher a in class. You see that this already, this it’s a completely optional sentence in your brain here, Seth. The way teacher a is having is teaching might be having a negative impact on the kids.

Speaker C 00:37:21 – 00:37:36

And I love the kids, and I want everyone to succeed all of these things that are running. But this is not gonna be helpful. That’s not gonna work. Mhmm. What’s a different thought that you could choose that might even feel neutral?

Speaker D 00:37:42 – 00:37:50

Teacher a needs more mentoring for success in the school that is now a part of?

Speaker C 00:37:51 – 00:38:19

Yes. Yeah. Or I mean, that’s about teacher a. What is it about you? How can you show up? How can you come to teacher a? Like, instead of the way teacher a is teaching is having having a negative impact on the kids, what’s something that you can possibly shift? Another way you could be thinking about teacher a’s teaching.

Speaker D 00:38:19 – 00:38:21

Could I be a better role model?

Speaker C 00:38:22 – 00:38:45

Maybe. It sound it sounds like it sounds like you’re doing a lot of things in terms of mentoring, etcetera. But, yeah, like, I mean, maybe something is open as I’m just gonna offer a few thoughts for you and everyone who’s out there in this sort of dual admin position. Like, just really get neutral. Like, teacher a is teaching a different way

Speaker D 00:38:46 – 00:38:46

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:38:46 – 00:39:18

Than I’ve ever seen it before. Yeah. And maybe a lot of statements with I wonder. I wonder, like, if I could talk to her about what her her her lesson plan is like from a place of total curiosity and openness. Like, I really wanna know. I really wanna study her, like, in a research lab. Yeah. Another great one that you’ve already I heard you say is, like, I really want teacher a to succeed.

Speaker C 00:39:19 – 00:39:22

This is a new teacher in her school. Mhmm.

Speaker E 00:39:24 – 00:39:24

Definitely.

Speaker C 00:39:25 – 00:39:34

So if you want teacher a to succeed, like, you wanna also succeed. You wanna succeed inside yourself. You know what it feels like to be new in your school.

Speaker E 00:39:35 – 00:39:35

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:39:35 – 00:39:58

So that also means getting a lot of rest, coming to each conversation, feeling in a, you know, balanced or maybe even just neutral way. Mhmm. From a a space of total curiosity. I would just say, Seth, if you write write down first curiosity, maybe, and it’s still Seth observes teacher a in class or teacher a is in class.

Speaker D 00:39:59 – 00:39:59

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:39:59 – 00:40:03

Ask yourself this question. How can I be curious about this?

Speaker D 00:40:04 – 00:40:08

That’s right. That’s a good idea. What can I learn? Definitely.

Speaker C 00:40:09 – 00:40:12

What can I learn here? I love that. Mhmm.

Speaker D 00:40:13 – 00:40:17

No. I I agree. I really appreciate you taking the time.

Speaker C 00:40:17 – 00:40:22

It’s my pleasure, Seth. Thanks so much. Thank you. Hopping on. Yeah.

Speaker F 00:40:22 – 00:40:22

Bye bye.

Speaker C 00:40:23 – 00:40:33

Who we got? And by the way, I know we’re at 5 minutes past time, but I am still excited to coach. I still want to, be in this. So I think it’s Jess.

Speaker E 00:40:34 – 00:40:34

Yes. I’m

Speaker C 00:40:35 – 00:40:41

here. Yay. Hi. You are amazing. You?

Speaker E 00:40:41 – 00:40:43

Alright. Hi.

Speaker C 00:40:43 – 00:40:46

What you got? Tell me. What would you like coaching on?

Speaker E 00:40:47 – 00:41:07

I had a situation with a well, a person I work with, the art teacher. I started I started at a whole new school, and, basically, it was testing time, and I have kindergarten. So kindergarten is really, like, getting them familiar, routine, routine,

Speaker F 00:41:07 – 00:41:08

all that stuff.

Speaker E 00:41:09 – 00:41:41

I’ve been used to 2nd grades for 6 years now, so kindergarten was, like, a big change for me. Right. So, basically, had to finish up some testing with some kids, and, they had specials. So a colleague was also helping me at the time. K. And I didn’t look at the time to see when was pick up. It was about probably 3 or 4 minutes after pick up time. And the art teacher bought my class, and she basically said, I’m making her life her job harder.

Speaker E 00:41:42 – 00:42:06

Mind you, I don’t notice. I’m just starting at the school. So it caught me off guard. I honestly felt attacked Yeah. Because I wasn’t expecting that. I know the school culture is, you know, welcoming. Since I’ve been there, it’s been very welcoming and everybody wants to help. But just that one instant kinda got me because I’m the type of person that I take things to heart.

Speaker E 00:42:06 – 00:42:35

Like, you know, I get defensive. Like, I I I’ve been I’ve always had to put kinda like protect myself all my life. I’ve gotten very defensive. I have to, you know, protect my being. So that’s where I was with that. Since then, I felt like that was unprofessional. For me, I felt like I felt upset. I felt like, what did I do wrong to this this woman? I mean, I was 3 minutes late, and you’re upset with me.

Speaker E 00:42:36 – 00:42:47

I don’t know you. And I personally feel like she could’ve approached me in a better manner. Yeah. But some yeah.

Speaker C 00:42:48 – 00:42:57

Well, this is what’s going on. Justin, let you just tell me if I have anything wrong because I wanna use your words. Is your experience, and this is your brain we’re looking into.

Speaker E 00:42:57 – 00:42:58

Right. Mhmm. Like

Speaker C 00:42:58 – 00:43:13

you and I are on this energetic couch, we’re throwing up all your thoughts about this and we’re just seeing which ones are helpful and ones maybe aren’t so helpful. Right. Situation here and I just wrote pick up from art. You know, you told us some great background, that

Speaker E 00:43:13 – 00:43:13

would be

Speaker C 00:43:13 – 00:43:22

helpful for you to see with your brain, right? Like Yeah. I’m new to this school. I’m new to, you know, this is

Speaker E 00:43:22 – 00:43:23

your first Your teens.

Speaker C 00:43:24 – 00:43:41

Mhmm. Yeah, new to this grade, new to this level. You picked up your kids from art or the pickup from art was 3 minutes past the time. Mhmm. And the art teacher said words, you’re making my job harder. Mhmm. Yeah. Okay? You’re making my job harder.

Speaker C 00:43:42 – 00:43:47

So that’s kinda what’s up for us. You’re making my job harder. K?

Speaker E 00:43:47 – 00:43:47

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:43:48 – 00:44:12

And I just want us to see here, we’re gonna see what what you thought of that and how you feel about it, but we get to, as teachers, as professionals, when anyone says anything to us at all during the day, at all in our human lives, in our human experience, we get to decide what we think about those words. We get to decide

Speaker E 00:44:13 – 00:44:14

Right.

Speaker C 00:44:14 – 00:44:29

What our attitude is gonna be. Mhmm. Okay. Right? Mhmm. Because we just do, we get to choose our thoughts and choose our emotions like we choose our wardrobe. Right. Every day we choose our earrings, if you wear earrings.

Speaker E 00:44:29 – 00:44:30

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:44:30 – 00:44:48

So what was your thought? You said you felt attacked, but I actually wanna know before we kind of get into your emotions and, like, what you did and what you’re not doing. What was your thought? What is your thought right now that you believe when she’s My thought words, you’re making my job harder?

Speaker E 00:44:49 – 00:45:32

I thought lock my I just lock my train of thought. I thought, what did I do wrong? Did I do something wrong? I was a bit no. You know what else happened to? My colleague that helped me yeah. My colleague that was helping me said she would get the kids for me, but she also had to get her kids. So my thought was, was this a setup? I don’t know. But then I but then again, I said yeah. So I thought my colleague would have went to get my kids too as well as her kids, but then I said, I thought Taylor was gonna get her get them. Yeah.

Speaker E 00:45:32 – 00:45:32

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:45:33 – 00:45:45

Yeah. So is the thought here when she said you’re making my job harder, was the thought like, oh, I’m being set up, or is it really, I did nothing wrong here? Taylor was supposed to get the kids.

Speaker E 00:45:47 – 00:45:51

I thought I would I both both of those thoughts came to mind. Both of them.

Speaker C 00:45:51 – 00:45:55

And which one which one has more heat? Which one has more

Speaker E 00:45:56 – 00:45:59

I thought that Taylor was Taylor was supposed to get the kids

Speaker C 00:46:00 – 00:46:00

Yeah.

Speaker E 00:46:01 – 00:46:05

For me because I couldn’t leave the testing kids alone in the room. So

Speaker C 00:46:05 – 00:46:26

Great. Okay. So, like, did you do anything wrong here? No. I mean, I felt no. So the thought is, yes, Taylor was supposed to get him, but the real thought is, hey, I didn’t do anything wrong here. Yeah. I mean, no wonder you feel attacked. Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:46:27 – 00:46:42

Like, hey, I I I plan for this. I set up for this. I talked to Taylor about this. I didn’t do anything wrong here. Yeah. And so what’s the feeling that comes from that energy?

Speaker E 00:46:45 – 00:47:15

I felt confused because I I felt con confused. I felt confused because I don’t I wouldn’t wanna make someone’s life harder. I mean, we’re both in the same profession. We both have to deal with kids. So in a sense where I feel that I wasn’t if well, that thought again. I just feel that, I I guess I did feel I felt attacked. I did. I felt attacked.

Speaker E 00:47:15 – 00:47:15

Okay. Great.

Speaker C 00:47:15 – 00:47:17

That’s what you said initially.

Speaker E 00:47:17 – 00:47:19

Yeah. I felt attacked.

Speaker C 00:47:19 – 00:47:37

And I like attacked because, yeah, confused can be with attacked. But also, I just want you to make space for it, and this is totally okay. It’s okay to feel anger. It’s okay to be angry. Mhmm. It’s okay to also be like, hey.

Speaker E 00:47:38 – 00:48:06

Oh, I was angry too because that was I felt I mean, I’ve got like I said, I get very defensive and wanna fight you, but not like you know, I’m not gonna do in a professional manner, but, like, I I it got me upset. I kinda was teary because I I’m new to the school. I’m new here, so I’m not looking for that that heat. That’s weird. That’s kinda like off to me, like, how am I making your life harder? I mean Yeah. That is

Speaker C 00:48:07 – 00:48:18

Yeah. The tears came. Mhmm. By the way, this is the second time. I just wanna point this out to you, Jess. Like, second time you’re like, oh, I’ve had to fight in my life. Like

Speaker E 00:48:18 – 00:48:18

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:48:18 – 00:48:20

I can get very defensive easily.

Speaker E 00:48:21 – 00:48:21

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:48:21 – 00:49:14

A belief like that about your life is just a thought that you’ve been thinking over and over and over. Mhmm. So if you have a story and that’s separate, that’s like, you know, different coaching that we can do. But I just want you to know and hear that even these kinds of ideas of like, look, I’ve had to really, you know, like, you know, I’ve had this kind of stuff happen or I, you know, when we have stories about ourselves, I always love to just pop holes in some of those stories like, I wonder why I think that or I wonder what’s happened or I wonder if I could change that story. So that’s just an aside and that’s just something I’ve noticed in my mind. But let’s stay here with this model. This model is your teacher said words, hey, you’re making my job harder. Your thought is like, hey, I worked this out with Taylor.

Speaker C 00:49:14 – 00:49:29

I didn’t do anything wrong here. You feel attacked and of course from attack, we’re on the defense. Right? You wanna pretend to yourself, You’re feeling a bit teary. What else are you doing in this moment that you’re feeling attacked?

Speaker E 00:49:30 – 00:49:37

Trying to be calm and not kinda not kind not reacting as much because now the kids are back, so I can’t really react.

Speaker C 00:49:38 – 00:49:39

Yeah. You’re gonna try

Speaker E 00:49:39 – 00:49:40

to yeah.

Speaker C 00:49:41 – 00:50:01

Yeah. Even though you feel the tears come, like, that that sheet behind the eyes rising, you still wanna kinda stay calm, no reaction. Mhmm. I love this noticing. You’re very self aware, Jess. What else are you doing? Let me ask, what else are you not doing? I’m assuming you’re not getting up in that art teacher space.

Speaker E 00:50:02 – 00:50:12

No. Because she walked off. I’m just kidding. No. She walked she no. No. Oh, also, she walked off when I was talking to her. So I’m like, wow.

Speaker E 00:50:12 – 00:50:22

Like, really? Like, is that really professional? Like, she just walks off, and I’m saying, hey. Taylor was supposed to get the kids. I don’t know I don’t know what happened. And she just like walks off.

Speaker C 00:50:22 – 00:50:31

Okay. So she walks away. We could also put that in the c line. If somebody else saw this interaction in a quarter of loss, she’s like, yep, our teacher just she just left. Yeah.

Speaker E 00:50:32 – 00:50:32

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:50:32 – 00:50:39

Okay. So you’re staying calm. You’re talking. Mhmm. Trying to figure it out?

Speaker E 00:50:40 – 00:50:47

Trying to figure it out. Taylor came back to check on me.

Speaker C 00:50:47 – 00:50:47

Okay.

Speaker E 00:50:48 – 00:50:55

And I told Taylor I am not the one. She doesn’t know me. She does not know me. But,

Speaker C 00:50:56 – 00:50:58

And what does that mean for you? I’m not the one Yeah.

Speaker E 00:50:58 – 00:51:48

For me is that I’m going to I’m gonna talk to you in a professional manner, but I’m gonna let you know that I I don’t do anything intentionally. I’m not the type of person. I’m a person that if there’s something if I know I’m wrong, I’m wrong. But if I know I’m not doing something intentionally to make your life job harder, I’m not going to try and, you know, if you hate you need to go on your smoke break. I don’t wanna cut cut you off from it. I she’s well, she was actually a smoker, by the way, and my colleagues never told me that do not be late to go to art. I didn’t I didn’t know that till after the fact. So that’s where that setup feeling came from after to before and after because no one mentioned to me that she does not like when any teacher is late.

Speaker C 00:51:48 – 00:51:54

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Because she’s she’s out on her smoke break, so you’re making her smoking harder.

Speaker E 00:51:54 – 00:51:58

I’m cutting it off. I’m cutting off that time. That’s great. Yeah. Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:51:58 – 00:52:03

Yeah. Look at all that understanding and that piece of the puzzle that dropped in for you.

Speaker E 00:52:03 – 00:52:05

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker C 00:52:05 – 00:52:45

Right. I I mean, what I love what I love about your model is Jess didn’t do anything wrong here. That’s what I’m seeing. Like your thought here is like, I didn’t do anything here. You’re feeling attacked, but look at what’s kind of happening. You have this intention or desire to protect yourself. You feel that teary kind of heat come, the kids are there, there’s no reaction. And I always say Jess that mindfulness is that space between stimulus and response.

Speaker C 00:52:46 – 00:52:58

Look how mindful that is to really notice that in your body, to really be present with that. Even the tears that come, the tears that come that are like shock, confused, what?

Speaker E 00:52:59 – 00:52:59

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:52:59 – 00:53:12

I love that you felt them and you still stay calm. You’re still trying to figure it out. Yeah. And then the end result is you’re not doing anything wrong here. Nothing has gone wrong.

Speaker E 00:53:13 – 00:53:14

Mhmm. What

Speaker C 00:53:14 – 00:53:15

do you think about that?

Speaker E 00:53:17 – 00:54:04

I think in this situation, that I hand I handled it in a way. Like, I like, I’m an emotional person, so I just I feel that, you know, hey. In the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t wrong, but I just didn’t like I couldn’t I like to kinda nip it in the butt, so I I did wanna have that conversation with her to say, hey. I still haven’t had a conversation with her. I said, hey. You know, I don’t do anything intentionally. I still feel that I need to approach her in a way to tell her that, hey. What happened a couple weeks ago didn’t, it wasn’t intentional, but, you know, I don’t ever come to work to make someone’s job harder for them.

Speaker E 00:54:04 – 00:54:05

I think that’s perfect.

Speaker C 00:54:06 – 00:54:14

Mhmm. Yeah. I think your mindset on this and the coaching you’ve already done, you’ve already figured out a lot for yourself here.

Speaker E 00:54:15 – 00:54:16

Yeah. How do you

Speaker C 00:54:16 – 00:54:17

But right now

Speaker E 00:54:18 – 00:54:19

oh, no. Go ahead. I was

Speaker C 00:54:19 – 00:54:20

just gonna say, like,

Speaker D 00:54:22 – 00:54:22

about,

Speaker C 00:54:25 – 00:55:09

don’t worry, it’s all good. I just kicked over my stand here, so it’s all good. How do you feel about just knowing that you’re in integrity with yourself? You just said like, I’m an emotional person and the fact that sort of tears came and you you acknowledge them and then you also know how you’re gonna approach this conversation with the art teacher from a place of calm, from a place of like, hey, I’m not here to make anyone’s job harder. I’m just new here. I’m learning. That feels really empowering to me. Yeah. Is there anything that would get in the way for you of having that conversation with the art teacher from that of like, hey.

Speaker C 00:55:09 – 00:55:12

I’m we’re on the same side here. We’re on the same team.

Speaker E 00:55:14 – 00:55:49

Well, I personally when well, the old me is that I’m not gonna talk to you. You wanna you wanna be stand office? I will be the same. I’m not gonna lie. Like, I haven’t approached her on the situation because, my my principal kind of caught what happened, and she said she would talk to her after. Then my principal text my principal text me and said, oh, she’s gonna apologize. She still hasn’t apologized yet. She has passed me many times in the hall, and I just walked right past her. But then that part I told you where I wanna say I don’t do things intentionally.

Speaker E 00:55:50 – 00:56:07

I still I purse I feel like I don’t wanna I feel like her being the attacker, I feel that her, she should come to me and we talk about it. I’m not gonna get defensive and get angry. I I would just wanna come to a mutual understanding wherein I’m not yeah.

Speaker C 00:56:07 – 00:56:13

You can do that. You can wait because you feel like maybe you are in this place of attack.

Speaker E 00:56:13 – 00:56:14

Mhmm.

Speaker C 00:56:15 – 00:56:20

But I just wanna ask you why. Why would you wait? You don’t have to be I

Speaker E 00:56:20 – 00:56:25

just didn’t like how no. Because do you know why? Because she walked away as I was talking.

Speaker C 00:56:25 – 00:56:26

So it

Speaker E 00:56:26 – 00:56:27

just felt like

Speaker C 00:56:27 – 00:56:29

There’s some of that anger right there.

Speaker E 00:56:29 – 00:56:41

Mhmm. Mhmm. I don’t walk away from a conversation. I’m gonna sit there and listen, and we just talk it out. I’m not gonna well, if that’s kinda like that’s showing that you’re being disrespect. You know?

Speaker C 00:56:41 – 00:57:18

Oh, okay. But but notice that notice that. In coaching, we call this all having a manual. Like, hey, the way I was born, the way I was raised, you don’t walk away. I was just listening to Brene Brown, the queen of emotional health. And she’s like, you know what’s best when you have an interaction with someone is sometimes to walk away, take a break and come back. Yeah. So, Jazz, I’m not saying that you’re wrong and I’m not saying that you you shouldn’t wait, I’m just saying you totally have figured this out for yourself here of, hey, Taylor was supposed to pick up my kids.

Speaker C 00:57:18 – 00:58:21

I didn’t know about the smoke break thing. I did nothing wrong here. So you also get to decide if you wanna wait for weeks weeks weeks to go by with this art teacher or if you truly from that place of just like, hey, we’re all, you know, I’m new here and I’m just trying to figure this out and I’m not trying to make your life harder. I mean, there might be, I just wanna offer, just think about your thoughts about doing that. There might be some real, growth and empowerment there about you being the one, even if you feel like you were an attacker and you felt attacked, by the way, I I think that’s just something something our brain runs to protect us. I don’t believe in that. I don’t believe in I was the victim. You have so much power in this situation because you didn’t do anything wrong here.

Speaker C 00:58:22 – 00:58:42

Mhmm. Mhmm. So I want you to just kinda that’s gonna be the work tonight, is think about how do I wanna approach this situation with the art team? And I don’t wanna wait until December at the faculty party when everyone’s had a few drinks. You’re laughing because you know it’s true, everyone.

Speaker E 00:58:42 – 00:58:43

Yeah. That’s true.

Speaker C 00:58:46 – 00:58:51

Listen. You got this. Thank you so much. Jess, I’m so glad you popped up for coaching. This is awesome. What a great

Speaker E 00:58:52 – 00:58:54

I appreciate that. Thank you. Have a good one.

Speaker C 00:58:55 – 00:58:55

You’re welcome.

Speaker B 00:58:57 – 00:59:03

Okay. Alright. Do we have time? Okay. We do have time for one more quick one, and this will be the last one.

Speaker C 00:59:04 – 00:59:05

Let’s do it. I’m ready.

Speaker B 00:59:09 – 00:59:10

Hey.

Speaker C 00:59:12 – 00:59:30

How are you? Oh, I can’t hear you yet. Yeah. Maybe just headphone issue. No problem. Just sing it out. Yes. I can hear you. Alright.

Speaker C 00:59:30 – 00:59:35

Welcome to I’m Ashley. Ashley, I’m Christie. Nice to

Speaker F 00:59:35 – 00:59:36

meet you.

Speaker C 00:59:36 – 00:59:36

You virtually.

Speaker F 00:59:38 – 00:59:39

Yeah.

Speaker C 00:59:40 – 00:59:41

So I actually I work

Speaker F 00:59:41 – 00:59:43

I just I actually work at a Montessori school.

Speaker C 00:59:43 – 00:59:44

Great.

Speaker F 00:59:44 – 00:59:49

So it’s not quite like a public school, but I have

Speaker C 00:59:50 – 00:59:59

And that’s okay. We’re here for all schools, home schools, independent schools, Waldorf schools. We got you. What you got? Montessori school teacher.

Speaker E 00:59:59 – 01:00:00

Yeah.

Speaker F 01:00:04 – 01:00:20

So I have that, is very distracting. It’s like he is very distracting and can be very loud, and it distracts

Speaker C 01:00:21 – 01:00:23

This is a student in your class?

Speaker F 01:00:23 – 01:00:24

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker C 01:00:26 – 01:00:31

Okay. So it’s so interesting. Your thought is student is loud and distracting.

Speaker F 01:00:32 – 01:00:33

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:00:33 – 01:00:46

But isn’t that interesting? You think that’s just kind of what’s up, like, that’s the truth, but actually, your circumstance is just I have a student.

Speaker F 01:00:49 – 01:00:53

No. I I couldn’t really think of the circumstance, honestly.

Speaker C 01:00:54 – 01:01:25

Yeah. Yeah. It’s just like, I have a student. There’s a human in class. And what could we prove here? We could prove that the decibel volume level when the student screams or talks or I mean, even the word scream could be sort of judgmental. But the fact is, like, this student could be sound louder than other students. When you say this student is distracting, tell me more about that. What do you mean? Mhmm.

Speaker F 01:01:28 – 01:01:30

That can you repeat that? You froze out.

Speaker C 01:01:30 – 01:01:34

Yeah. What do you mean when you say the student is distracting?

Speaker F 01:01:36 – 01:01:53

So it’s like he so they’re, like, connect technically, like, 2 things. He’s distracted enough that he doesn’t sit and do his work. K. And he’s distracting the other students who are trying to do their own work.

Speaker C 01:01:54 – 01:02:06

Okay. And what is he actually doing? This is even more specific and better. What’s he actually doing, Ashley, that is distracting other students and distracting himself?

Speaker F 01:02:10 – 01:02:19

He’ll like, he just makes noises. He like, he’ll make noises. He just keeps talking. He’ll get up and start doing something else.

Speaker C 01:02:19 – 01:02:30

Okay. Okay. So student makes noises out of student’s mouth. Student stands up. What else is he doing?

Speaker F 01:02:34 – 01:02:37

It was like he’s not focused.

Speaker C 01:02:39 – 01:02:43

Yeah. Not doing his work, whatever the work or the task is.

Speaker F 01:02:44 – 01:02:45

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:02:46 – 01:02:58

K. And just can we get this student I don’t want it to be a real name, but could you just give this student a name so we don’t just keep saying student?

Speaker F 01:02:58 – 01:03:01

Sure. Like, Billy is what I was

Speaker C 01:03:01 – 01:03:02

Okay. Yeah.

Speaker F 01:03:02 – 01:03:03

Writing down.

Speaker C 01:03:03 – 01:03:11

I love it. So Billy makes noises at a high volume. Billy stands up, leaves desk or chair.

Speaker E 01:03:11 – 01:03:11

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:03:11 – 01:03:20

Billy is not working, not doing the task at hand. K? And why is this a problem for you?

Speaker F 01:03:22 – 01:03:38

Because I mainly because, like, it distracts the other kids, and I have to keep telling Billy, sit down, do your work. It’s basically gotten to the point where you have to sit right next to him or else he just does whatever he wants.

Speaker C 01:03:39 – 01:03:47

Okay. Billy distracts others. And what is, like, what is the effect of really distracting others on you?

Speaker F 01:03:49 – 01:03:56

They don’t finish they don’t end up finishing their own work.

Speaker C 01:03:56 – 01:03:59

Okay. And why is that a problem for you as their teacher?

Speaker F 01:04:05 – 01:04:13

Because they’re not learning what I’m teaching them because they can’t because they can’t practice it.

Speaker C 01:04:13 – 01:04:21

Okay. And, again, keep going. Why aren’t they learning what you’re teaching them because they can’t practice it? Why is that a problem? Keep going.

Speaker F 01:04:30 – 01:04:35

Because, like, they won’t if it they won’t work tomorrow or later in the day when maybe we’re working on some of the same stuff.

Speaker C 01:04:37 – 01:04:44

Okay. So is the thought not only here Billy distracts others, but is it like Billy’s ruining my class?

Speaker F 01:04:46 – 01:04:47

Yeah. It could be.

Speaker C 01:04:49 – 01:04:59

Yeah. Yeah. It what’s what’s another thought up there that you really think? Like, Billy’s throwing the whole class off.

Speaker F 01:05:01 – 01:05:02

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:05:02 – 01:05:07

Okay. Yeah. So Natalie, keep going. Sorry.

Speaker F 01:05:09 – 01:05:15

I only take a sense of kit. I only have 8 kids in the entire class.

Speaker C 01:05:15 – 01:05:37

Okay. Got it. Okay. So Billy distracts all the the 7 other kids. Right? Yeah. Okay. So what’s the thought here really that’s what kind of emotion is this creating? This idea that Billy’s distracting all the others.

Speaker F 01:05:38 – 01:05:39

It makes me frustrated.

Speaker C 01:05:40 – 01:05:50

Frustrated. There it is. And does it make you feel like Billy is keeping you from teaching?

Speaker F 01:05:53 – 01:06:04

Yeah. Or is, like, frustrated because I’m trying to when I sit down and try to get him to focus, he’s not focusing and is not listening to me.

Speaker C 01:06:05 – 01:06:10

Yeah. And why is that a problem? He’s not focusing, not listening.

Speaker F 01:06:14 – 01:06:20

Uh-uh. Because he won’t he won’t learn what I’m trying to teach him.

Speaker C 01:06:20 – 01:06:24

And why is that a problem that he won’t learn what you’re trying to teach him?

Speaker F 01:06:28 – 01:06:30

Between when we do it again. Yes.

Speaker C 01:06:30 – 01:06:38

Yeah. I’m just getting to your mind here, Ashley, which is basically, like, Billy is keeping me from teaching.

Speaker F 01:06:39 – 01:06:39

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:06:39 – 01:06:46

Right? So Billy distracts others. Like, I it’s basically like he’s the reason that I can’t teach.

Speaker F 01:06:48 – 01:06:48

Right.

Speaker C 01:06:49 – 01:06:58

He is the reason that I can’t succeed, basically. And that is such a frustrating thought. We’ve all had Billy’s in our lives for

Speaker E 01:06:58 – 01:06:58

sure.

Speaker C 01:06:59 – 01:07:09

So you’re not alone. And by the way, the fact that your brain is running this means nothing’s gone wrong. You’re not broken. You’re a normal teacher. Right?

Speaker F 01:07:09 – 01:07:10

Mhmm. Yeah.

Speaker C 01:07:10 – 01:07:39

But I just want you to notice how much power you’re giving to this small human. Mhmm. Yeah. But let’s stay with that frustration. When you feel so frustrated, he’s standing up, he’s not working, he’s distracting other kids, meaning they’re looking up, they’re not working. You’re feeling frustrated. And from a place you’re frustrated, how are you showing up to Billy and to your class and to yourself? What are you doing?

Speaker F 01:07:44 – 01:07:50

I was like, me, voice will start to so it’s like the more frustrated I get, the louder my voice will be.

Speaker C 01:07:50 – 01:07:57

Okay. I get loud. What do you say when you’re feeling frustrated?

Speaker F 01:08:02 – 01:08:08

Usually, it’s like, Billy, get back over here and let’s do your work or stop that.

Speaker C 01:08:10 – 01:08:13

Yeah. Billy, stop that. Right?

Speaker E 01:08:13 – 01:08:14

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:08:15 – 01:08:51

Okay. What else are you doing? That’s a, you know, whenever we’re in step stop that, don’t do that with our class management style. Right? It’s just interesting to notice. No, don’t, stop. We’ve all been there. We’ve all been there for sure. But we’re just noticing you get loud. What is the effect of you getting loud due to your body? When I would have these moments, for example, my heart would race, my respiration would go up, I’d start to get really angry in my body, I would shake.

Speaker F 01:08:52 – 01:08:55

I don’t necessarily I mean, I like, I start getting anxious.

Speaker C 01:08:55 – 01:09:01

You start getting anxious. Okay. What are you anxious about here?

Speaker F 01:09:08 – 01:09:27

Just because you when, usually when I go, it’s like I’m on a because we we have to go to when I come up, it’s basically it’s almost lunchtime when I go into this class. And so it’s like, I’m on a time constraint. I got you have to go to lunch, but you can’t we can’t go eat until you finish this page.

Speaker C 01:09:28 – 01:09:35

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Gosh. So we can’t go to lunch until we finish this page.

Speaker C 01:09:35 – 01:09:59

Like, setting these maybe another action here that’s creating anxiety is, like, these like, I set up a situation where we can’t leave, right, until we finish a page or get something done. Mhmm. And then the end result, I kinda ran out of space in my board, but it’s no problem. I know you can see it. It’s like like,

Speaker B 01:10:01 – 01:10:01

your

Speaker C 01:10:03 – 01:10:30

what’s running here is often the result for us is it feels like you can’t teach. Right? You’re giving this kid so much power. It’s you’re getting louder. You’re asking this child to stop. Billy, stop. Don’t. The frustration is creating anxiety. So what’s happening here is, like, you are creating you are distracting yourself.

Speaker C 01:10:35 – 01:11:08

And and self. Because the frustration is coming in, because the anxiety is coming in, Ashley is distracting Ashley from being a good teacher. From your behavior modification or any kind of classroom behavior stuff that you know how to do, know or you can ask a trusted colleague of what to do. But right now, it’s like you’re in such a state with this frustration and this anxiety makes perfect sense. No wonder nothing’s really getting done. And it feels like it’s Billy’s fault here. It feels like he is really the cause of this. He’s not the cause.

Speaker C 01:11:08 – 01:11:23

He’s just a small human. How old is this child? 6. Okay. 6. Right. So I always remind myself, he’s been on the planet for, like, 5 years.

Speaker F 01:11:23 – 01:11:24

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:11:24 – 01:11:26

Right? Because that 1st year, he was just sort of gestating.

Speaker F 01:11:27 – 01:11:27

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:11:28 – 01:11:47

Yeah. This child is 6. We’re not gonna give him all this power because you know exactly what to do. K? So let’s keep the same seat. Billy’s gonna stand up. This is gonna happen tomorrow. Right? You’re gonna go back into Montessori tomorrow. You’re gonna have the same Billy’s gonna be right on brand.

Speaker C 01:11:47 – 01:12:03

He’s gonna stand up. He’s gonna he’s gonna distract the other kids. He’s gonna laugh. He gets a lot of attention, doesn’t he? Yeah. This is really working because he gets your attention as well. Mhmm. Right?

Speaker F 01:12:03 – 01:12:04

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:12:04 – 01:12:21

What’s what’s another way we could think about this? Like, how do you wanna feel? When you see it again, you’re like, Billy’s right on brand. He’s right on time. This is exactly what he does every day. Mhmm. What’s another way you could think about all of this?

Speaker F 01:12:28 – 01:12:43

And and he doesn’t, he’s still like learning, like, how to write certain things because like he’s basically, he’s kindergartner, he’s a kindergartner. So I was like, so I was like, maybe he doesn’t understand and I need to show him a different way or something.

Speaker C 01:12:44 – 01:12:58

Okay. I love that for you. How does that thought feel? I need to show him a different way. How does that feel, Ashley?

Speaker F 01:13:01 – 01:13:10

Little it still makes me a little it still makes me a little anxious because I was like, okay. Well, I gotta think of something basically on the fly. How else can I teach this?

Speaker B 01:13:11 – 01:13:11

So he understands.

Speaker F 01:13:13 – 01:13:23

But then it could also be, like, if he ends up getting it the way that I teach him, it could be exciting for me. It’s like, oh, now he gets it.

Speaker C 01:13:24 – 01:13:29

Yes. Exciting. And so much of what we do is on the fly. Right?

Speaker E 01:13:29 – 01:13:30

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:13:31 – 01:13:53

So the thought you were writing before is like, if we don’t get this page done, we can’t go to lunch, or it’s a problem if the kids are, It’s not a problem. Right? And the thing I know about There’s like of Montessori is there are so many different ways, so many different approaches of respecting the child where they are.

Speaker F 01:13:54 – 01:13:54

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:13:54 – 01:14:09

And you do that every day. You’re respecting Billy. I mean, the fact that you brought this to coaching and you’re feeling frustration just means you’re an amazing teacher. Nothing has gone wrong here. Mhmm. You just wanna understand this kid. You wanna engage this kid.

Speaker F 01:14:09 – 01:14:10

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:14:10 – 01:14:26

Is that true? Yes. Yes. You’ve got 8 of them. You’ve got such an opportunity. You don’t have 28 or 38. You just have 8. That’s amazing. So I need to show Billy a different way.

Speaker C 01:14:27 – 01:14:54

It feels exciting. For me, even if it feels 3% better, like, Ash, I totally get it. You’re like, it still feels a little frustrating. That’s okay. Allow that frustration to be there. I want that you know, I want you to have space for the anxiety or the frustration to still be there. But if this feels just even 3% better in your body, that’s okay. From excitement, like, hey, maybe there’s a different way.

Speaker C 01:14:54 – 01:15:37

Maybe I don’t have to sit next to him, but maybe we can set up everything. So Billy becomes the teacher. He gets all the attention. If he’s distracting the kids, let’s use that as a superpower. How can I empower him to teach this to all the, like, writing? Right? How can I take him aside and say, hey? You’re gonna be my super professor. Whatever it is. What one thing that you can do to show up from excitement though, how is that gonna help you show up to Billy tomorrow? I mean, I just heard you say you’re gonna find

Speaker F 01:15:37 – 01:15:52

It’ll usually be story. So yeah. Usually, I have to write some sort of story so I could say, like, if you’re if you can write this, you can share it with the class before we go down to lunch.

Speaker C 01:15:53 – 01:16:25

Nice. Nice. Yes. Yeah. You’re creating different kind of modalities of work for him. You do you see how creative your mind is being just from a place of excitement, like, there could be a different way? You’re already thinking of different ways to do it. Mhmm. And from coming from a place of at least more open, maybe a little bit more curious about Billy and what he needs.

Speaker C 01:16:26 – 01:16:40

I mean, the other thing you could do too is you’ve got, I’m sure, so many colleagues who have had the Billy’s of their lives before. How did they handle it? What did they do? Right. Right. So asking

Speaker F 01:16:41 – 01:16:41

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:16:42 – 01:17:16

The hive mind of Montessori is amazing. Get the hive mind of your colleagues. Asking your principal as well, like, hey. Do you have any tips, any tricks? That also shows how much you wanna learn, how you excited you are to be a teacher. My principal would always say I have a lot of beloved principals. Excuse me. But she would always say, like, the teachers that came and asked me were the were my favorites. Even the ones that were had 40 years in the classroom, if they were coming to me and asking my opinion, asking for my time, that’s an exciting teacher.

Speaker E 01:17:17 – 01:17:18

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:17:18 – 01:17:26

And the end result here, Ashley, just to to to kinda follow this up is Ashley’s gonna be teaching in a different way.

Speaker E 01:17:26 – 01:17:27

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:17:27 – 01:17:47

Not the frustration and the anxiety and the yelling and the don’t. I mean, there might still some be some of that. Don’t get me wrong. And that might be part of your strategy, But Ashley is doing it a different way. You’re different as well. What do you think about that as you see that new model?

Speaker F 01:17:50 – 01:17:57

That is like I can try to find a way to make it work. Maybe not necessarily tomorrow, but

Speaker C 01:17:57 – 01:17:58

Sure. Yeah.

Speaker F 01:17:59 – 01:18:00

Throughout the school year.

Speaker C 01:18:01 – 01:18:06

I mean, I hope I hope it helps your brain see that there is a different way.

Speaker E 01:18:07 – 01:18:07

Mhmm.

Speaker C 01:18:08 – 01:18:13

And even when that way, maybe, you’re gonna try it out. If that doesn’t work, there’s gonna be a different way.

Speaker B 01:18:16 – 01:18:17

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:18:17 – 01:18:44

Ashley, thanks so much for bringing this to coaching. We’ve all had the Billy’s in our lives, and this was so helpful. Because we give students like that so much power. And then we’re like, wait, they haven’t even formed all of their synapses in their brain yet. Right? He doesn’t even have a well formed prefrontal cortex. But look what we do. We we blame. Right? We say, that’s the cause for all of my teaching.

Speaker C 01:18:44 – 01:18:57

We wring our hands. Totally normal. You’re just a human teacher. You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. Nothing’s gone wrong. We can just think about this in a different way. Of course he’s gonna stand up.

Speaker C 01:18:58 – 01:19:07

Right? Of course he’s gonna do it. So let’s channel all of this, his noises, his standing, his current behavior, for good, not evil.

Speaker F 01:19:07 – 01:19:08

Yeah.

Speaker C 01:19:08 – 01:19:16

Billy’s gonna start working for you and running that class, girl. You’re gonna be able to go out and get your Starbucks or leave the class and be like, Billy, you got class.

Speaker F 01:19:16 – 01:19:17

Yep.

Speaker C 01:19:18 – 01:19:30

Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, my pleasure. We’ll see you next time. Bye. Oh my gosh. 44 45 passed, if I see that right there. Goodness.

Speaker C 01:19:30 – 01:19:34

Everybody We’re all glad. With the coaching part,

Speaker B 01:19:34 – 01:19:45

but we have some exciting stuff. And, Chrissy, can you tell us a little bit about what’s coming up with our coaching next month? How we’re or how coaching continues, how people can get

Speaker C 01:19:45 – 01:19:58

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. For sure. So we have regular coaching. We’ve got workshops that are targeted that bring up ideas in wife, teacher, mommy that speak to you.

Speaker C 01:19:58 – 01:20:35

Everything we talked about, the Billy’s of the world, the classroom management, emotions you’re having to help you fuel. We do workshops on that on the regular. We also just have open coaching like this. So if you’re watching, if you’re intrigued out there, and you’ve been saying, my thoughts create my feelings, which drive my actions so I can actually be a different teacher. That is possible. Yes. We also have something in wife teacher mommy, which I think is just an amazing benefit, Kelsey, you’ve created. It’s called ask a coach, where you can put in your questions exactly like this.

Speaker C 01:20:36 – 01:21:29

I create models for you. I suggest, some questions you can think about, like, hey, how could I see this in a different way? We get coaching to you 24 hours. Kelsey’s gonna show us the screen, maybe where to go. Yeah. But on wife teacher mommy, if you’re not yet a member, what are you waiting for? By the way, my coaching, this kind of coaching is causal. Many coaches out there from my school, which I believe is the best in the world, charge 1,000 of dollars for this. But Kelsey and the team at wife teacher mommy, they’re really, really including all of this in your benefit. So if you’re even intrigued and curious and you live you know, Kelsey and I both live in Utah, we’re on mountain time, but you can put in your coach question at midnight if you’re a night owl and still doing lesson plans and grading.

Speaker C 01:21:29 – 01:21:39

And I will get back to you, and I will coach you up. So please, please come. We have some dates already in October that we can take to

Speaker B 01:21:39 – 01:21:43

confirmed, but you and I were gonna talk some more tomorrow to get the rest of your

Speaker C 01:21:43 – 01:21:45

day going out. Yeah.

Speaker B 01:21:45 – 01:22:07

That is everything for tonight, but, let us know. Email us or comment below. If you have any questions, we’ll be happy to help you out. And we would love to see you in my teacher mommy club. We’ll have more in this coaching happening very, very soon. Always happening. You can do the ask a coach. You could download the resources.

Speaker B 01:22:08 – 01:22:11

We are here for you. So we’ll talk

Speaker C 01:22:18 – 01:22:18

soon.

Speaker A 01:22:19 – 01:22:22

Okay. Wasn’t that incredible?

Speaker B 01:22:22 – 01:22:23

I mean, if you made it

Speaker A 01:22:23 – 01:23:06

to this point, it is coaching calls are kind of long, but if you made it to this point, I bet that means that you were really enjoying it. You were really getting something out of it. And that means you’re like me. I can just eat up this coaching all day long. And if you liked listening to it in podcast format like I do, there is so much more where this came from. When you join us inside wife teacher mommy club, you will get instant access to our private podcast with replays from all of our coaching calls, open coaching calls like this, and our workshops, which are more like, you know, Chrissy did kind of a little mini workshop at the beginning where she taught for a few minutes, but we have workshops where she teaches for the majority of the time. You’ll get instant access to all of those. Then you’ll be able to attend future ones live and be coached to yourself if you want to.

Speaker A 01:23:06 – 01:23:55

But you totally don’t even have to to get the full value. Even just listening to the podcast like you did today is so gives you so much value and helping you make those mindset shifts. Many times, we have 3 calls a month, sometimes 4. We definitely have at least 2. We definitely have at least 1 workshop and one open coaching every month. Listening to coaching is something I do anytime I’m stressed or stuck, and just listening to others get coached helps me get in the right mindset to use that self coaching model myself. And I just want to add that the reason I added coaching to wife teacher mommy club is because for so many years, we were creating resources for teachers, and we still do. We know that teaching resources, they help you save so much time, but saving time is only one part of the equation when it comes to teacher burnout and stress.

Speaker A 01:23:55 – 01:24:30

There’s so much more when it comes to it, and we wanna help you live your entire best teacher life. It’s not just about, oh, hey. Here’s some resources to help you save time planning, and we have plenty of those, but it’s also this combination with coaching. It’s our secret sauce. You’re not going to find it anywhere else. We just want to make sure that we are creating this movement of teachers who are saying enough is enough, like, I’m done being burned out. I’m done being stressed, but I also don’t wanna be a victim of this. I want to control whatever it is I can control about the situation, about my mindset, about my boundaries.

Speaker A 01:24:31 – 01:25:04

We are here to help you and support you with that and give you community, create a movement of teachers who want to see change. So if you want to join us in that movement, go to wife teacher mommy club.com. I’m telling you, it’s only 29.99 a month for life coaching. You will not find that anywhere else. Like, I mean, try to find it. Try to find coaching from somebody who’s life coach school certified for 29.99 a month. I I don’t think you’ll find it, and you’ll get all the resources too. So it’s just we want you to have so much.

Speaker A 01:25:05 – 01:25:26

We just wanna keep giving you so much more than we receive when you join the club. So, I’m I’m just so passionate about this. I could talk about it all day long. But if you have any questions, DM DM me and my team anytime on Instagram at wife teacher mommy, and I hope to see you inside the club for some more coaching. If not, I will see you next week on the podcast. We’ll talk then.

Speaker B 01:25:29 – 01:26:21

If you’re enjoying this podcast, be sure to hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. And if you’re ready to take the next step with me, then you are going to love Wife Teacher Mommy Club. Our top selling resources for pre K through 6th grades have been used and loved by tens of thousands of teachers. The club gives you one click access to all of them to meet the needs of every child you teach while saving tons of time. Plus, you’ll have our certified life coach in your back pocket with several monthly workshops and an Ask A Coach portal you can use 20 fourseven. The combo of resources and coaching is our secret sauce to your best teacher life. Think of my team and I as your personal team doing the lesson planning for you and on the sidelines coaching you and cheering you on as you focus on what you do best, impacting the children you teach. Plus, if you’re loving this podcast, you’ll also have access to our private podcast, Just for Members,

Speaker C 01:26:21 – 01:26:22

where I continue the conversation with all of our guests with members only bonus episodes.

Speaker B 01:26:23 – 01:26:25

I continue the

Speaker F 01:26:25 – 01:26:26

conversation with all of our guests with members only bonus episodes. And don’t forget the club with VIP

Speaker B 01:26:26 – 01:26:53

0:01 – 01:26:53

access to educate and rejuvenate, our summer conference, and our private Facebook community full of like minded educators supporting each other. You do so much for everyone else, so it’s time to invest in yourself. Your teacher friend’s jaws will drop when they see just how quickly you finished your planning, not to mention the glow of the happier, more fulfilled you. Head on over to wife teacher mommy club.com to learn more.

More about Wife Teacher Mommy: The Podcast

Being an educator is beyond a full-time job. Whether you’re a teacher or a homeschool parent, the everyday to-do list is endless. Between lesson planning, grading, meetings, and actually teaching, it probably feels impossible to show up for your students without dropping the ball in other areas of your life.

Wife Teacher Mommy: The Podcast is the show that will bring you the teacher tips, practical strategies, and inspiration that you need to relieve the stress and overwhelm of your day-to-day. Your host, Kelsey Sorenson, is a former teacher and substitute turned homeschool mom. Tune in weekly to hear Kelsey and her guests cheer you on and help you thrive as a wife, teacher, and mommy. Because with a little support and community, you can do it all. For access to every single Wife Teacher Mommy resource, join the club at educateandrejuvenate.com/club.

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Download our mobile app for podcast episodes, meditations, community, and more... right at your fingertips!

Download our mobile app for podcast episodes, meditations, community, and more... right at your fingertips!

Try out the club for Just $1.99 for your First month! This March Only...

Teacher Mindset: The 5 Step Framework That Will Change the Way You Think About Teaching and Life [Episode 39]

Click below to hear about teacher mindset & the 5 step framework that will shift the way you think about teaching and life:

Key points about teacher mindset from our live coaching call episode on the 5 Step Framework:

Empowering Teachers Through Understanding and Engagement

What is Mindset Training for Teachers?

How to Change Teacher Mindset

Final Thoughts

Resources mentioned:

Teacher mindset-related episodes and blog posts:

Take our Podcast Quiz

Connect with Kelsey:

Connect with Chrissy:

Read the transcript for episode #39 Teacher Mindset, below:

More about Wife Teacher Mommy: The Podcast

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