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Teacher Mindset: The 5 Step Framework That Will Change the Way You Think About Teaching and Life [Episode 39]

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Teacher mindset: the 5 step framework with teacher life coach Chrissy Nichols

Click below to hear about teacher mindset & the 5 step framework that will shift the way you think about teaching and life:

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I’m SO excited for you! Do you know why? Because we’ve got something for you in this episode that will change the way you think about teaching and life!
 
Last week we did a special FREE open coaching call with our certified teacher life coach, Chrissy Nichols. This call was for anyone that wanted to come and it ended up being SO amazing. We discussed teacher mindset & the 5-Step Framework that will CHANGE the Way You Think About Teaching (And Life!). So we turned this amazing Coaching Call into today’s episode all about the 5-Step Framework!
 
When I discovered this 5-Step Framework almost 3 years ago… it was a game changer for me. I wish I could go back and “discover” it all over again. It was so fun and special to be able to watch hundreds of other teachers tune in and watch as four other teachers experienced this framework for the first time! We got to watch them start changing the way they think about teaching and life.
 
This 5 step framework is SUPER simple- once you learn it, you can’t UN-learn it!

Key points about teacher mindset from our live coaching call episode on the 5 Step Framework:

  • We discuss how creating a mindset shift is beneficial for not just your teacher life, but your life in general
  • Teacher Jess is coached on how to be confident and set boundaries with a confrontational colleague
  • Teacher Ashley is coached on dealing with a loud and distracting student and learned ways to respond more positively and less emotionally
  • Admin Seth is coached on staying positive and realistic when dealing with a difficult teacher

Empowering Teachers Through Understanding and Engagement

Teaching is one of the most rewarding jobs, but it’s not without its challenges—especially when faced with frustration and anxiety in the classroom. Dive into mindset training for teachers and discover how shifting perspectives can turn classroom struggles into opportunities for growth and connection. Let’s talk about how to empower educators through understanding and engagement.

What is Mindset Training for Teachers?

We all know that teaching can be a rollercoaster of emotions—one minute you’re on cloud nine because a lesson went just right, and the next, you’re trying to keep your cool when a student pushes your last button. Mindset training for teachers is all about helping you navigate those ups and downs with a fresh perspective, so you can stay grounded, connected, and empowered in the classroom.

Mindset training is like a backstage pass to your own thoughts and reactions. It’s about recognizing the frustration, anxiety, and even anger that can bubble up when student behaviors get tough. Instead of letting those feelings run the show, mindset training teaches you to pause, reflect, and approach each challenge with curiosity and understanding. It’s not about putting on rose-colored glasses; it’s about reframing your approach so you’re in the driver’s seat, not just reacting on autopilot.

In this episode of “Wife Teacher Mommy: The Podcast,” our coaches tackled these very struggles head-on, reminding teachers that feeling frustrated is completely normal. The trick is learning to catch those emotions and redirect them. Imagine turning that disruptive behavior into a moment where you connect with your students in a new way—like flipping the script to see their actions not just as challenges, but as chances to engage differently. That’s mindset training in action.

How to Change Teacher Mindset

So, how do we actually shift that mindset? It starts with awareness. The first step is simply noticing how much power you’re giving to those tough moments. Are you letting one student’s behavior dictate your whole mood, or are you able to take a step back and see the bigger picture? Mindset training encourages teachers to pause, breathe, and assess what’s really going on.

One of the most powerful tools is coaching, like what the Wife Teacher Mommy Club offers. It’s all about creating a space where teachers can reflect, ask questions, and try new approaches without fear of judgment. One of our coaches, Chrissy, talked about viewing student behavior as a kind of superpower—a quirky, sometimes frustrating, but unique way that students express themselves. Instead of battling that behavior, how about finding ways to channel it positively? It’s all about flipping those “ugh” moments into “aha” moments.

Changing your mindset isn’t a one-and-done deal; it’s an ongoing process. It’s about being open to new strategies, willing to experiment, and ready to shake things up when the old ways just aren’t cutting it. Embrace the messiness of teaching and see each challenge as a chance to grow—not just for your students, but for yourself too.

In the coaching call, we also touched on handling confrontations with colleagues, which—let’s be honest—can be just as tricky as managing student behavior. The key takeaway? Stay self-aware and neutral. Don’t let defensiveness cloud your judgment. Whether it’s a student acting out or a colleague throwing shade, mindset training gives you the tools to stay cool, calm, and collected.

Final Thoughts

Mindset training for teachers is more than just a buzzword; it’s a game-changer. It’s about reclaiming your power and transforming your approach to every interaction in the classroom. By embracing coaching, staying curious, and being willing to grow, teachers can create a ripple effect of positivity and connection in their classrooms.

The support from communities like the Wife Teacher Mommy Club provides that extra lift—coaching, resources, and a tribe of fellow educators all navigating the same ups and downs. Together, you can transform those moments of frustration into stepping stones toward a more engaging, empowered teaching experience. So, take that mindset shift, and run with it—you’ve got this!

Resources mentioned:

Teacher mindset-related episodes and blog posts:

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Read the transcript for episode #39 Teacher Mindset, below:

You are listening to episode number 39 of wife teacher mommy, the podcast. The 5 step framework that will change the way you think about teaching and life. Now I promise I’m not exaggerating with this. If you feel stuck or you just wanna improve your life in some way, we are giving you some free coaching right here on the podcast today.

Speaker B00:01:04 – 00:01:31

I’m so glad you’re here listening to wife, teacher, mommy, the podcast today. I’m your host, Kelsey Sorensen, a former elementary teacher turned homeschool mom. Whether you are a teacher or a homeschool parent, my goal at Wife Teacher Mommy is to provide you with both teaching ideas and mindset tools to help you live your absolute best teacher life. Be sure to hit subscribe on your favorite podcast app. So you don’t miss an episode. Now let’s go.

Speaker A00:01:40 – 00:02:28

I have been looking forward to airing this episode, this replay of coaching for quite some time. We had an incredible coaching call on Facebook live on September 28th, and I will link to the video version in the show notes if you’d like to watch the video. But one of the other amazing things about coaching is being able to just listen to it, to just plug in your AirPods or whatever you use and listen to it on the go in podcast format. It’s honestly one of my favorite things. Like, whenever I’m feeling a little bit stuck or stressed out or if I’m just you know, I just need a little pick me up. I just plug in my AirPods that go to one of my private podcasts that has coaching, and I listen to it. But I wanna explain this a little bit more before we really dive into the just so you kind of know what we’re doing. But I also want to mention that this will be the last of the Tuesday episodes.

Speaker A00:02:28 – 00:03:00
So I mentioned that I was going to go through, through to October. So I went through the 1st week of October with 2 episodes on the podcast, and now we’re going back to just the Friday episodes. Episode. So if you weren’t able to quite keep up, I know that school has starting school is a bit crazy. We’re slowing it down a little bit so you can go back and catch up on all the episodes we’ve done. They’ve been a lot of fun. I hope they’ve been helpful, and they’re always here, so you can always go back and listen to them whenever. So today, our life coach, Chrissy Nichols from the Chrissy concept, she is amazing.
Speaker A00:03:00 – 00:03:32
You might have heard her on some previous episodes of the podcast. She was on episode 3 where we talked about grading on the weekends, episode 10 when we talked about end of your fatigue, and on episode 26 when we kinda gave a little sneak peek about what coaching is all about. But this isn’t just a sneak peek. This is, like, going all in. You were getting full on coaching today. I’m super excited. Be sure to check out those previous episodes as well if you enjoyed this one. But in this coaching today, she is going to teach us the self coaching model that we use inside our coaching in the club.
Speaker A00:03:32 – 00:04:02
So she’s going to teach it. It’s called the model. It was created by Brooke Castillo, who was Christie’s mentor. She’s the owner of the Life Coach School. And as Brooke says, she didn’t create this model. It’s just the truth, but she created a framework that makes it easier for us to understand what’s going on inside our minds. And it’s made a huge difference for me in my life, and I’m not going to get into that whole story today because it is a long story. It I told a little bit on it about it on episode 3 of the podcast, but I plan on sharing even more in just a couple of weeks.
Speaker A00:04:03 – 00:04:32
So stay tuned for that episode. But when I discovered this 5 Step Framework almost 3 years ago, it was a total game changer for me. And I wish I could just go back and discover it all over again. But what is potentially even better is that I get to watch you and hundreds of other teachers experience it for the first time. And that is just incredible for me. I love seeing it make the difference for teachers because right now, you guys, you need it. You need it so much. There’s so many stressful things going on, but this framework is super simple.
Speaker A00:04:32 – 00:05:00
Once you learn it, you really can’t unlearn it. You’ll start seeing how, oh my goodness, like, that is a circumstance, that is a thought. You’re going to start recognizing this in your life, especially if you, like, listen to this, if you kind of, like, write it down or listen to it again and, you know, really pay attention. You’re going to see how it really can shift your mindset in such an incredible positive way. So I’m really excited. So let’s dive into the coaching call.
Speaker B00:05:08 – 00:05:37
We are live. Hello, everybody. Chrissy and I are so excited to be here with all of you today tonight on this beautiful, beautiful Wednesday night. We’ve been looking forward to this for a while now. We’ve been like, we love doing our coaching. Well, Chrissy is coaching, but we love doing it, and we’re excited to bring it here on Facebook today. So, when you’re tuning in, looks like we have some friends joining us already. I’m so excited.
Speaker B00:05:37 – 00:05:54
I’m so excited for everybody who’s here. So comment, tell us where you’re tuning in from what you teach and tell us if you’ve been on a coaching call before. Hi, Erica. So glad you’re here. We’re just so excited to be here. So we’ll take just a few minutes to welcome everybody. Jennifer. Welcome.
Speaker B00:05:54 – 00:06:11
We’re not gonna take too long though, because we really wanna jump right in, but comment anytime. Chrissy’s got a lot to teach us. Hello, Jessica. Erica says it’s a great giveaway. Yeah. We’re so excited. Jennifer says, hello, Tell us where you’re tuning in from. If you comment, you’ll be entered to win an amazing teacher backpack.
Speaker B00:06:11 – 00:06:23
Super excited. I might have to go run and grab it and let Chrissy talk for a minute because, like, you just love everybody. Hello, Michelle, Abby. Chrissy, can you welcome people for a sec? Yeah. Backpack to show you all.
Speaker C00:06:23 – 00:06:34
Yes. Yes. Yes. I am so excited to be here. Who’s in here? Welcome. Look at this backpack. Kelsey, tell us about that. So I’ve been
Speaker B00:06:34 – 00:06:53
using it for 3 years now. I absolutely love it. We’ve given it away a bunch of times. Actually, during our big event, educate and rejuvenate, we posted about it and, like, 20 people went and bought it. We’re all commenting, I don’t mind. I don’t mind. Like, it’s just so cute. It’s been working strong for 3 years now.
Speaker B00:06:53 – 00:07:12
Only just barely I had one of the little, buckles break or oh, but I fixed no. Right here. So that buckle broke off. But it’s been 3 years and I use this, like, every day. Like, you can see I probably need to, like, wash it. So it’s incredible. It fits my laptop, my books, like, everything. So we’re giving a one away to somebody.
Speaker B00:07:12 – 00:07:42
Hi, Kenzie. Hi, Allison, Gail, or let’s see. Orlando, Michelle, Tina, Abby, Darcy, Anne, Jessica, Lena, Anne, Abby, Jennifer from Northern Indiana, 1st year in 1st grade after 16 years in 5th grade. 1st coaching call. Who’s on a 1st coaching call comment below if you’re it’s your 1st coaching call ever. And then also comment if it’s your you’ve been here before and you’re here again. That is a huge win. Victoria says she’s from Butte, Montana.
Speaker B00:07:42 – 00:08:00
I’m currently getting a bachelor’s in elementary education and special ed wants to be a kindergarten teacher. Awesome. You are totally in the right place. Christina, hello from Kentucky. Jennica, first time. I love seeing you first timers here. Melissa, hello. You guys, if you’re here for the first time, I am so excited for you.
Speaker B00:08:00 – 00:08:06
Like, I wish I were here for the first time again because when I learned this, it totally blew my mind. Right, Chrissy?
Speaker C00:08:06 – 00:08:28
Totally. This is a game changer. You’ll wanna stay on all night and even first timers, you will wanna get coached. I’m gonna talk about how to do that, But you’ll just come on, and it’ll look like a conversation. Bring everything from your day, all your messy, all your gunk. Welcome. You’re exactly the right place. We’re so glad you’re here.
Speaker B00:08:29 – 00:08:42
As Beth says, first coaching call outside of the summer event. So glad you came again. Allison, first timer. Michelle, first call. Orlando, first time me. First time Abby. Tina, Jessica says me. So happy that you’re all here.
Speaker B00:08:43 – 00:08:50
I just wanna say I’m proud of you for taking this moment for yourself because it’s so easy to just be like, I don’t have time for that.
Speaker B00:08:50 – 00:08:56
I don’t have time for this. So this is real self care we’re gonna do here, and I’m proud of you for being here and taking the time for that.
Speaker C00:08:56 – 00:09:09
And, Kathy, at any time, I’m gonna really be centered here. I’m gonna be so focused on all of you that come on. Remind everyone how they can just hop on, how it’s gonna work.
Speaker B00:09:09 – 00:09:31
Yeah. So when it’s time, it’s, well, I guess I could put the link now and we could just start aligning. So let me I will grab the link here in a sec. So as as soon as I pull myself off and Chrissy starts taking over, I will grab the link where you can come in. You can get in line. So I will put in there’s a little private chat when you get in here. I will put the order of people. We’re gonna get through as many as we can.
Speaker B00:09:31 – 00:09:44
Right. And then you will just be waiting you’ll be in this little waiting room, and when it’s your turn, you’ll get put on the screen. So Okay. Does that is that anything perfect.
Speaker C00:09:44 – 00:09:50
It’s just for me. If if there’s anything that you need me to do to hop them on, or will they just No.
Speaker B00:09:50 – 00:09:56
I will I will take care of that. So you can just you can just coach your face off. I’m
Speaker C00:09:57 – 00:10:19
gonna coach my face off. Okay. Thank you so much. Well, I hope everyone can see my screen because tonight, we’re gonna be talking about the model. My name is Krissy Nichols. I’m the owner and founder of the Krissy concept. Just like you, I was in the classroom for over 22 years. I’m still in the classroom.
Speaker C00:10:19 – 00:11:25
I do a lot of 1 on 1 work and tutoring. Even as recently as last spring, I was in the classroom doing a maternity cover. So I had my coaching clients, and I was in the classroom again, and it was fantastic because I was able to teach in a mask, see the masks come off, experience all the things that I remembered about teaching before I became a coach. I became a coach for, first I went to coaching a little bit more about my story to, solve for burnout. So I was just in this space and a lot of my clients are aware, they still love teaching, but they just feel like there are a couple of things if only they knew, would help them stay in teaching. Or maybe they’re thinking about the next the next sort of, you know, role or something they wanna do in education or out of it. And so, they come to me, we talk about it. We also talk about time power, body balance, and relationships.
Speaker C00:11:25 – 00:12:02
But that one thing I just told you about, that one tweak, if they only they knew, I became a coach, and I only coach teachers. And this is a lot of that just one thing. So if you’re here right now, that means great job, amazing work. I’m gonna teach you the model. It’s a 5 element, sort of 5 idea framework. And I got it from my coach and mentor, Brooke Castillo. She got it from all of her mentors. And the thing I love so much about the model, I’m gonna show it to you right now.
Speaker C00:12:02 – 00:12:29
If you wanna take some notes, great idea. But, the model’s working whether we think it’s working or not. And as soon as you kinda become aware of the power of the model and how it’s working in all of our lives, it will blow your socks off. It’ll blow you away. Okay. So as I mentioned, as you can see here up in the model, there are 5 elements. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And let me explain these.
Speaker C00:12:30 – 00:12:58
We’ve got a circumstance that just happens. So I want you to think about anything out there in teacher land, anything in the world that happens. We have to be able to prove it in a court of law. It’s the facts. And I also often think when I have a circumstance, it’s a fact and facts don’t hurt. They’re neutral. So fact, somebody walked into a room. Fact, I got a telephone call.
Speaker C00:12:58 – 00:13:40
Fact, I got in my car. These are all facts. Because we have a human brain that’s working well and working very quickly, we have a thought about the facts. So the fact is something happens and then we create a thought or a story about what happens. Our brains love to make meaning. And just really quickly here as an aside, in coaching with my clients, I identified 2 parts of our brain. The prefrontal cortex or the PFC, it’s right here, right behind our eyebrows, and the primitive or primal brain. Now the primal or primitive brain, it’s only job is to keep you safe.
Speaker C00:13:41 – 00:14:39
The prefrontal cortex is where we plan from, dream from, probably where you teach from. So you’ve got a circumstance, thoughts. The thoughts always drive a feeling, an emotion. So an emotion could be any emotion, either the sort of good or positive ones, quote unquote, I think they’re all equal and have equal wisdom for us, or the bad sort of negative ones that we tend to classify as sorrow or sadness, anxiety, nervousness. Sometimes a feeling will come in our body, and we can understand what we’re thinking to drive that feeling. From any feeling, happiness, joy, anxiety, we have a set of actions that we do. What we do, what we don’t do, which drives a result. K? So a circumstance drives a thought, creates a feeling, gives us our actions, what we do, what we don’t do, our behavior, gives us results.
Speaker C00:14:40 – 00:15:01
Give us gives us our results. Now, yes, okay. Chrissy, I understand. A thought drives a feeling, creates actions, I get it. But let’s actually put this into something that actually happened to me. This very scenario happened to me when I was teaching. Okay. So, I wanna show this to you.
Speaker C00:15:02 – 00:15:45
When I was teaching in dual a French dual language immersion, so I was a French teacher in immersion. I got an email and a phone call from my principal one day, and the principal, this is the fact, I can only put down facts. The principal said words, I would like to see you. And notice how I put that in quotes, kept it very neutral. We never put a thought in the circumstance line. So this is the situation, I got a message from my principal, I would like to see you. Now I’m gonna show you sort of the 2 paths that my brain actually eventually went down here. The very first way so I never felt like I had a good connection with this principal.
Speaker C00:15:45 – 00:16:22
And the very first thought was, uh-oh, I did something really bad. Then the whole litany, that thought created a whole bouncy castle of thoughts. I’m gonna get fired, I did something wrong, I feel like an imposter. That created dread in my body. The emotion of dread. So my actions that came from dread, what I did or what I didn’t do, I avoided her email initially, I just didn’t respond. I, saw her coming down the hall. I physically avoided all contact.
Speaker C00:16:22 – 00:16:48
The next day, she was trying to get a hold of me. I called in sick. I really thought I do not wanna get fired, but I was in a avoid avoid avoid mode. And then that result here was, I was not being a professional. I was not really being an adult, if truth be told. I really I was wrong. I was not acting like a professional in that moment. Excuse me.
Speaker C00:16:48 – 00:17:26
So let me show you what actually really happened, and I’ll tell you the situation. The situation was hilarious. So I found out finally, this didn’t last very long, thank goodness, the principal said words, I I would like to see why, because the actual situation was, a New York Times journalist wanted to come to my class to interview me and my students about French dual immersion. Amazing. Right? But look at the different paths then my brain took. Yay. Maybe she wants to congratulate me. The New York Times is coming.
Speaker C00:17:26 – 00:17:38
Right? Duh. Yeah. I thought that. Then I had a lot of excitement. I ran to her office once I realized that. I engaged with her. I was present. I was present with the journalist.
Speaker C00:17:39 – 00:18:22
And what can you imagine that the end result was? Well, she congratulated me. This article in the New York Times was a big hit and led to, you know, more accolades, more awards, and I got to sort of congratulate myself. This, she congratulated me, the end result. I got to congratulate me through my actions, the excitement. I was present, I did engage, I did show up. So I just wanna point that out. Isn’t that amazing? Principal says words, I’d like to see you. We don’t know why, but look initially what my brain was running on this side.
Speaker C00:18:23 – 00:19:04
Amazing. So I already see that there are maybe some folks that would love to be coached. I just wanna show you that we can put anything in the model. I would like to coach as many of you as possible, and we’re gonna start right now. We can put anything in the model. It can be something as little as, it could be also about teaching or not. Like, got in a fight with my husband, which would really turn into with the circumstance, husband and I said words, or, you know, you feel like a lesson plan totally bombed. So we’re gonna put that in the model.
Speaker C00:19:04 – 00:20:14
Let’s just see what kinds of things your brain is offering, and we’re just gonna talk about it, and work it through. I’m hoping there’s not too much of a glare on my whiteboard to be able to see. So if you wanna start practicing this, and even you can right now, you can kinda just start writing all over the place. I just get a piece of paper just like this, and I just start writing c t f a r down the side. What’s the circumstance? What am I really dealing with here? What’s the thought I’m having about the circumstance? What’s the feeling that’s coming from that thought? The action, what I’m doing, what I’m not doing, and the end result. We always know that we have a really strong, model. If I go back to this one real fast, just wanna show you. Well, all this time we have a really strong model when the end result the result here is we don’t have it anymore, but I’m wrong.
Speaker C00:20:15 – 00:21:03
Right? Which is kinda proving or I’m not doing professionally what I should be doing, which is avoiding someone, being in emotional childhood, not speaking to my boss. Right? That’s not something that I agreed to do contractually. That’s not how I wanna show up. It was this was not serving me. And luckily, my mind only ran this for a little while until this kicked in, and I realized that my result was being present, was engaging, was being able to be receptive in excitement to this journalist coming to my classroom. Okay. So it says, Chrissy, not sure if you’re seeing these chats. Okay.
Speaker C00:21:05 – 00:21:30
Great. I just wanna yes. Thank you so much, Kelsey. I’m just seeing them now. I would love, love, love for everyone. And again, please feel free just to be brave, just to come on, have a quick conversation, even if you think whatever you’ve got going doesn’t fit into the model. Let’s put it in. Click on the link.
Speaker C00:21:31 – 00:21:55
Click on the link and be brave. Come on down, get coached up. It’s super easy. We just look inside your mind, literally, we’re mind warriors, mind ninjas. We talk about your school day. So I wanna give you a couple of questions to help with that. Help you click that link. What is challenging you right now? In your classroom, think about it.
Speaker C00:21:55 – 00:22:13
In your school, what or who is challenging you right now? It’s okay if you say, I might be challenging myself. Here’s the second problem reveal question. What would you like to be different at school?
Speaker D00:22:13 – 00:22:15
Hello. How are you?
Speaker C00:22:15 – 00:22:16
I’m well. How are you?
Speaker D00:22:17 – 00:22:32
Good. Thanks. So, I have a circumstance at school that’s kind of a a sticky situation. I’m a supervising teacher because I work in a rural school, so I teach, but I also kind of do that administrative stuff.
Speaker C00:22:32 – 00:22:36
Okay. And before you, keep going, can you tell me your name?
Speaker D00:22:36 – 00:22:37
My name’s Seth.
Speaker C00:22:38 – 00:22:45
Oh, Seth. Awesome. It’s really nice to meet you. And, what exactly do you teach, and where are you coming to us from, Seth?
Speaker D00:22:45 – 00:22:51
I’m Montana, and I teach, running start kindergarten and kindergarten.
Speaker C00:22:52 – 00:22:56
Very good. Very cool. And how long have you been in education, Seth?
Speaker D00:22:57 – 00:22:59
This is my 17th year.
Speaker C00:23:00 – 00:23:04
Amazing. Okay. I just wanted to have that background, and hello from Utah.
Speaker D00:23:05 – 00:24:06
Hello. So, yeah. I I guess that some of my my issues that I’m having is I’m having a hard time, I guess, like, staying positive about the situation. And, I know my head is definitely running all different directions, and so I kinda liked how, you know, you said there’s a you know, there’s a occurrence or whatever happens, and then, you know, it goes from there. But, as soon as parents start getting involved, it kinda gets sticky. And so you are trying to, I’m trying to do the best I can to to represent my staff, but also, you know, make sure I’m representing the students as well. Okay. My what what I’m finding is that it’s just taking a toll on me personally because I’m kind of one of those people who takes everything on myself.
Speaker C00:24:08 – 00:24:45
I I I think what you bring up is so true. And any of us out here in teacher land who does a little bit of admin, especially if we’re in a rural context, so we have to do a little bit of everything. We’re the tech person and the photocopy, fixer, and we do the toilet rolls, and you’re nodding because it’s true, we do it all. Can understand all of these things, but I want you please protect the names of all the innocent. But I want you to tell me, a specific situation that is challenging for you. And again, we can change all of the names. It could be Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. You get to decide.
Speaker C00:24:45 – 00:24:48
But tell me what’s really going on for you right now.
Speaker D00:24:49 – 00:25:08
For me, it’s it’s a situation where I’m trying to help with in a classroom management type of situation. And so, teacher a is just really struggling in that way. And so, she, was
Speaker D00:25:09 – 00:25:20
was trying to do things in in more of a disciplinarian way rather than, like, a classroom management way, which is difference between the 2.
Speaker C00:25:20 – 00:25:34
And And I want you to just even notice I’m sorry. I’m gonna probably cut you off all over the place because I’m just trying to see this. It’s even interesting when you said teacher a is doing things in a disciplinary kinda way. That’s a total thought, Seth.
Speaker C00:25:36 – 00:25:58
K? Rather than in a in a, you know, classroom modification way. And of course, we could go to all the educational theory. No. We could prove that this is classroom modification or this is, you know, a receptive classroom or whatever modality we’re choosing. Mhmm. But but is the situation here, Seth is observing teacher a?
Speaker C00:25:59 – 00:26:07
Okay. Cool. Let’s get so factual. So tell me, so Seth observes teacher a, and what happens?
Speaker D00:26:10 – 00:26:29
It’s like a I feel, I guess what I’m observing and these are kids that I’ve had previously, so I I know they’re how they are. Mhmm. Yeah. It’s having a negative impact on them, the way things are being done.
Speaker C00:26:30 – 00:26:33
So that’s your that’s perfect. That’s your thought. Right?
Speaker C00:26:33 – 00:26:38
The way teacher a teaches is having a negative effect on the kids.
Speaker C00:26:39 – 00:27:20
Is that right? Because that gets I I love that for you, Seth, because it gets to what we were just saying. I’m gonna move my f down a little. What we were saying about, oh, she’s more teacher a is more of a disciplinarian. That might sound really true. Like you’re just telling me the news, that’s a fact. Like, nope, Chrissy, that’s a fact. What she’s doing is having a negative impact. But I want you to know, this is a total thought in your brain, it’s a sentence in your brain.
Speaker C00:27:20 – 00:27:33
But I wanna show you the power of this before we change anything, we wanna see what is. When you think that thought, the way teacher a, who’s teaching, is having a negative impact on the kids, how do you feel?
Speaker D00:27:38 – 00:27:42
The only words I can come up with is mother bearish, you know, protective.
Speaker C00:27:43 – 00:27:45
Okay. I love that. Protective of whom?
Speaker C00:27:47 – 00:28:01
Okay. And from that place of protective, how are you showing up to teacher a and to her class? You said her. That’s why it’s why I’m using that.
Speaker D00:28:01 – 00:28:05
That’s fine. Yeah. How am I showing up?
Speaker C00:28:06 – 00:28:11
Like, from from protective, like you said, mother bear for the kids.
Speaker C00:28:12 – 00:28:17
What are your actions toward? What are what is your own behavior towards teacher a?
Speaker D00:28:19 – 00:28:35
Oh, I try I I’m trying to be, supportive, like a role like, I’m trying to go in with solutions, like, because I’ve been in this particular school for so long, I’m I’m trying to come in with solutions.
Speaker C00:28:36 – 00:28:41
And what does that look like exactly? Enter classroom with advice, words, or
Speaker C00:28:45 – 00:28:51
Okay. How else are you from a place of protective, how else are you showing up?
Speaker D00:28:52 – 00:28:58
Oh, I think I if I’m completely honest, I think I might be being defensive as well.
Speaker C00:28:59 – 00:29:25
Oh, so good. Defensively. Oh my gosh, Seth. This is the magic of the model because when we start really from the outside, I watch yourself. When you have to explain it to a lady in big Oprah glasses on this call, you start to go, oh, yep. I can see it a little bit. I might be a little defensive. Makes perfect sense.
Speaker C00:29:25 – 00:29:44
And again, I just wanna show you and everyone out there, nothing’s gone wrong if you’re a little bit defensive. It’s coming from this place of protective mama bear. It’s coming from this place of, hey. I know what’s here. I know how to teach these kids. I’ve had them.
Speaker C00:29:47 – 00:29:50
Maybe even a little bit of my way is the right way.
Speaker D00:29:52 – 00:30:13
Yeah. Maybe. I and I tried I tried when I talked to her to say, you know, I’m not saying I have all the answers because I don’t. I mean, you I think you a 100 years and truthfully not have all the answers, but I think that, I try to come in a way that, you know, I’ve done this and it has worked. I’m not saying that it will work for you, you know, but
Speaker C00:30:14 – 00:30:26
k. What else are you doing when you’re feeling protective? Well what’s worked for you. This is what I’ve done. What else?
Speaker D00:30:27 – 00:30:32
I think I have anxiety because of the impact that it’s having on the kids.
Speaker C00:30:33 – 00:30:44
K. And what’s the anxiety fueling for you? What is anxiety having you do? How are you showing up when you’re feeling anxious?
Speaker D00:30:48 – 00:30:54
the time, I’m showing up very unrested because I am in my head all the time trying to come up with an answer.
Speaker C00:30:55 – 00:30:57
Yes. And why are you unrested?
Speaker D00:30:58 – 00:31:22
Duh. Because I care. Like, I I I and probably because, like, I have parents, you know, constantly there, with their concerns and everything, and I I wanna make it right. But like I like I said, I just don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know that there’s a simple answer. Totally.
Speaker C00:31:24 – 00:31:39
I love that you just said that. There’s that curiosity. I don’t know. Just gonna let you see on my board. Yeah. I don’t know if there’s a simple answer. Look at all I mean, everything that’s kind of running for you. You enter the classroom with advice.
Speaker C00:31:41 – 00:31:52
Right? But you’re thinking about parent comments, parent feedback, of course, that’s running through your brain because you are protective and you want things to work.
Speaker C00:31:53 – 00:32:01
the way, Seth, I really hear that you want things to work not only for the kids, but you do want things to work for teacher a. Mhmm.
Speaker D00:32:01 – 00:32:31
I I would I want I want her to be successful, you know, like, at our school. I just think that’s, it’s a different experience. You know, if you’ve worked in a rural school where it’s tiny and, you know, stuff, like, it it’s a different experience. And no matter how many times you tell people, they just don’t understand it until they’re submerged in it. And then for some people, it just doesn’t work. And I I want it to work for her, but I just don’t know.
Speaker C00:32:31 – 00:33:11
Is this her 1st year in your school? It is. Okay. So if if you look at your list of actions too and maybe some of these I know I wove some some emotions in here because some of these sub emotions like defensive, anxiety, spinning, you really want an answer. You also said anxiety is causing, you’re not as rested as you wanna be. Okay. So also, let’s get really clear on what you’re not doing. You’re really curious on this call, which is amazing. But do you think when you walk in to see teacher a teach, are you in a space of total curiosity?
Speaker D00:33:14 – 00:33:32
I do because I feel like as a teacher, I’m definitely I don’t know. I think teachers are lifelong learners. So anytime I go into a classroom, I whether they’re a 1st year teacher or not, I’m like, there’s something that I can learn from them that I probably don’t think about. So but do I go in,
Speaker C00:33:33 – 00:33:40
Well, look at this thought. I just wanna point out. The way teacher a is teaching is having a negative impact on the kids.
Speaker C00:33:42 – 00:33:51
That thought is not gonna serve and drive openness and curiosity and, like, seeing these teachers teaching like a lab.
Speaker D00:33:53 – 00:34:22
Yeah. The the way that I go in truthfully is, first of all, I go in completely neutral. I don’t say anything, especially when I’m doing an observation type of situation. I’m a note taker, and so I just write down what I see. And then I can go back and reflect on it and come back with something productive. Because I know sometimes when I’m going in, it may not be with the clearest mind, and so I try to do it that way to take notes and just be, this is what I’m seeing. This is happening right now. This is happening with the others.
Speaker D00:34:22 – 00:34:32
This is what’s happening. And then, like, I if I see something that I really like, I’ll put, you know, a positive or, oh, I like that or, you know, whatever.
Speaker C00:34:32 – 00:35:36
Sure. But what I wanna offer is when you’re going in and and again, all of this is subconscious. What we’re doing here in coaching is we’re making that under the surface subconscious more conscious. The other thing too is as a principal and as an administrator, nothing has gone wrong here in terms of you love your kids, you love your parents, you know these kids, you know these families. You also want teacher a to succeed. However, your energy signature, you already are onto yourself, defensive, sometimes anxiety, unrested. If you think the way that teacher is, a, is having a negative impact on the kids, when you’re spinning out, when you’re staying up late because you wanna find a solution, when you want an answer, when you feel a little bit mama bear protective, defensive, like, you’re having a negative impact on yourself. And definitely, I just wanna put out there.
Speaker C00:35:36 – 00:35:46
I mean, I don’t know. You know yourself best, Seth. But you might just energetically be carrying that negative impact to her.
Speaker D00:35:47 – 00:35:48
It could be. Definitely.
Speaker C00:35:49 – 00:35:59
And the fact the fact that you say could be is amazing in everything. Like, that is really good work that you’re seeing. Like, oh, what’s my part in all of this?
Speaker D00:35:59 – 00:36:33
Mhmm. Oh, no. Definitely. And that’s something that I I think that’s another reason I’m unrested because I’m like, am I handling this correctly? Like, what am what am I doing to help the situation be better? You know, I I mean, I I know what I’m doing for the kids. I’m loving them regardless of what’s going on because that’s what they need. You know, they need when they see me, hug me, when they you know, all of those things. But what can I do to help her as well? Because I I that’s part of my job too is, you know, I represent everyone.
Speaker C00:36:34 – 00:37:21
Exactly. All the stakeholders as you said in the beginning. My last question for you, and just think about this because this is the work even as you’re listening. And everybody out there, if I’m giving coaching to Seth, I’m about to, give coaching to the next person, whoever’s up next. But what I want Janice to see, what I want everyone to see is you can put your own circumstance here and you can figure out like, oh, okay. What’s another way to think about this? Like, the same circumstance, Seth observes teacher a in class. You see that this already, this it’s a completely optional sentence in your brain here, Seth. The way teacher a is having is teaching might be having a negative impact on the kids.
Speaker C00:37:21 – 00:37:36
And I love the kids, and I want everyone to succeed all of these things that are running. But this is not gonna be helpful. That’s not gonna work. Mhmm. What’s a different thought that you could choose that might even feel neutral?
Speaker D00:37:42 – 00:37:50
Teacher a needs more mentoring for success in the school that is now a part of?
Speaker C00:37:51 – 00:38:19
Yes. Yeah. Or I mean, that’s about teacher a. What is it about you? How can you show up? How can you come to teacher a? Like, instead of the way teacher a is teaching is having having a negative impact on the kids, what’s something that you can possibly shift? Another way you could be thinking about teacher a’s teaching.
Speaker D00:38:19 – 00:38:21
Could I be a better role model?
Speaker C00:38:22 – 00:38:45
Maybe. It sound it sounds like it sounds like you’re doing a lot of things in terms of mentoring, etcetera. But, yeah, like, I mean, maybe something is open as I’m just gonna offer a few thoughts for you and everyone who’s out there in this sort of dual admin position. Like, just really get neutral. Like, teacher a is teaching a different way
Speaker C00:38:46 – 00:39:18
Than I’ve ever seen it before. Yeah. And maybe a lot of statements with I wonder. I wonder, like, if I could talk to her about what her her her lesson plan is like from a place of total curiosity and openness. Like, I really wanna know. I really wanna study her, like, in a research lab. Yeah. Another great one that you’ve already I heard you say is, like, I really want teacher a to succeed.
Speaker C00:39:19 – 00:39:22
This is a new teacher in her school. Mhmm.
Speaker C00:39:25 – 00:39:34
So if you want teacher a to succeed, like, you wanna also succeed. You wanna succeed inside yourself. You know what it feels like to be new in your school.
Speaker C00:39:35 – 00:39:58
So that also means getting a lot of rest, coming to each conversation, feeling in a, you know, balanced or maybe even just neutral way. Mhmm. From a a space of total curiosity. I would just say, Seth, if you write write down first curiosity, maybe, and it’s still Seth observes teacher a in class or teacher a is in class.
Speaker C00:39:59 – 00:40:03
Ask yourself this question. How can I be curious about this?
Speaker D00:40:04 – 00:40:08
That’s right. That’s a good idea. What can I learn? Definitely.
Speaker C00:40:09 – 00:40:12
What can I learn here? I love that. Mhmm.
Speaker D00:40:13 – 00:40:17
No. I I agree. I really appreciate you taking the time.
Speaker C00:40:17 – 00:40:22
It’s my pleasure, Seth. Thanks so much. Thank you. Hopping on. Yeah.
Speaker C00:40:23 – 00:40:33
Who we got? And by the way, I know we’re at 5 minutes past time, but I am still excited to coach. I still want to, be in this. So I think it’s Jess.
Speaker C00:40:35 – 00:40:41
here. Yay. Hi. You are amazing. You?
Speaker C00:40:43 – 00:40:46
What you got? Tell me. What would you like coaching on?
Speaker E00:40:47 – 00:41:07
I had a situation with a well, a person I work with, the art teacher. I started I started at a whole new school, and, basically, it was testing time, and I have kindergarten. So kindergarten is really, like, getting them familiar, routine, routine,
Speaker E00:41:09 – 00:41:41
I’ve been used to 2nd grades for 6 years now, so kindergarten was, like, a big change for me. Right. So, basically, had to finish up some testing with some kids, and, they had specials. So a colleague was also helping me at the time. K. And I didn’t look at the time to see when was pick up. It was about probably 3 or 4 minutes after pick up time. And the art teacher bought my class, and she basically said, I’m making her life her job harder.