The Power of Conscious Thinking for Teachers [episode 97]

Kelsey  0:00

You are listening to episode number 97 of wife teacher mommy the podcast the power of conscious thinking for teachers, we are pulling a short segment of what we taught at our recent three day teacher transformation so you can learn the power of conscious thinking and how it might be just what you need as a teacher or a homeschool parent.

 

Unknown Speaker  0:33

Resources your teacher

 

Kelsey  1:02

Welcome to wife, teacher mommy the podcast. I’m Kelsey Sorensen, a former elementary teacher and current homeschool mom. And even though I’ve been a resource creator since 2014, I’ve realized that printables alone aren’t all you need in order to thrive as a teacher or homeschool parent. That’s why I also created this show and got certified as a life coach to help you finally kick burnout to the curb and feel competent with whatever challenges come your way. With the right mindset strategies and new teaching inspiration, you’re going to be well on your way to your best teacher life. Now let’s go.

 

Okay, as this episode is releasing, we are just wrapping up our first ever 3d Teacher transformation, which is so exciting. And I mean, as I’m recording, I cannot wait for this event. And I’m really excited for that moment. I’m recording this beforehand, because over the next couple weeks, I’m gonna actually be focused on the content that I’m going to be mapping out even more you know, as of writing, I have a really good outline of what we’re going to present but Chrissy and I we want to come up with like the examples we’re going to use and how we’re going to co teach it and everything. So that’s going to be a lot of fun. So over the next few weeks, we’re going to be like working on that with her. And I’m also presenting at a local event here in Utah called show up for teachers that is put on by our First Lady Abby Cox, which I’m really excited to be part of that again for the second year in a row. So just you know, doing what I do, which is you know, get ahead on the podcast when I need to for other things like that. That’s part of that time management and scheduling that we talk about a lot on the podcast. Now that you are listening, my amazing team, my podcast editor Boone, he is going to be pulling in a segment of Christie and is co teaching from this free event so you can listen to it. And this is my gift to all of you as a podcast listener because the replays of the full event the videos are going away on July 4 31st. For those who signed up for free admission to the event, the videos and the full event will only be available to wife, teacher mommy club members. But for you as a podcast listener, you’re getting a good chunk of day one right here on the podcast. So really excited for that. But if you want even more if you listen to this, and you’re like, oh, I want these two and day three, or I want to hear like maybe because like if we ended up coaching someone during this, we’re going to cut it off because we don’t put that on the podcast unless we have permission. If you want more, then the club doors are opening again for the last time before we start increasing the prices in August. And I said this educating rejuvenate that we’re increasing the prices in August and then we closed the doors but we’re opening them now is the end of July. We’re opening them one more time and giving you that chance that last chance we know it’s closer to back to school, some of you might have been like kicking yourself that you missed the opportunity. One last shot, we’re still keeping our word. We’re increasing it in August. So from now through July 31. Be sure to check it out. Go to wife, teacher mommy.com/club. And same thing we’re doing again, you get a pencil holder if you join monthly, you’ll get a planner and a pencil holder if you join quarterly and you’ll get a stainless steel 44 ounce tumbler and a planter and the pencil holder if you join us on the annual plan and go all in on this work on up leveling your mindset for an entire school year. We want to celebrate the longer commitment you make to doing this work, the more fun swag you’ll get in the mail. So super fun. I’m really excited for you to learn from this three day teacher transformation. Today on day one, we’re going to be talking all about the power of conscious thinking and separating our thoughts from our circumstances. That is the biggest part of this. So I’m going to share this segment of day one, we’re going to kind of cut off the beginning where we’re just reading tons of comments of where people are coming from. We’re going to cut that part off. We’re gonna go right into where we start teaching. And then if there’s any coaching or any more personal stuff that shared we’re going to cut that off since it’s on the podcast but the meat of our teaching, we’re going to share it right here for you today. So let’s go Hello, we’re ready to go. We’re so ready to be here with you today.

 

Chrissy  4:53

Hi, everybody. Welcome to the three day teacher transformation. You are gonna get so many tools We’ll see over the next three days, you’re gonna get so many mindset shifts. So if you don’t have a piece of paper and a notebook or even something to type down some aha was, please go ahead and run real fast and grab something to write with. And we are so glad you’re here. I’m Chrissy Nichols, I coach with and for wife, teacher, mommy teachers are my jam. I’m a life coach for educators only. And I’m just so thrilled to be with my partner in thoughtcrime. How’s the Sorenson of wife, teacher, Mommy are so excited

 

Kelsey  5:33

to be co teaching today. That is the first time we realize we haven’t co taught like a full workshop. We’ve kind of we’ve done podcasts together or like, during our one of our club days, we kind of improv taught together a little bit. But this is our first time co teaching together. So today we’re going to teach you this mindset super power that we specialize in what the research shows is that we have about 70,000 thoughts a day might not be billions, but that’s a lot. Right? Does it ever feel like billions Krissy

 

Chrissy  6:07

it feels like billions in my brain because the research also bears out cost that those 70,000 thoughts. A lot of those are negative thoughts. And they’re familiar. And there are like groups, I call it the hot butter group. And I believe that I just keep over and over. Yeah,

 

Kelsey  6:25

yeah. Yeah. So I’ve thought more than once, which then multiplies, right? Yes.

 

Chrissy  6:31

And I call these sites also sometimes the bouncy castles of Gods I like to create whole little fiefdoms and a shadow, and like a whole country estate of thoughts. Because when I start with, Oh, what a bad day, or what a bad, you know, my students were so bad, then I start to spin and cycle right into Oh, and I actually don’t like my colleagues either. And the outfit that I planned for back to school actually bombed and sort of hates me. So these are sort of the thought clusters that can start to

 

Kelsey  7:04

one can lead to another. Yeah. And we don’t even realize that. And that’s the other thing I want to mention. A lot of these are subconscious meaning that we don’t realize they’re happening. We don’t realize that their thoughts, we think that it’s just what is like, and that’s what we’re looking at today, we’re looking at separating our thoughts, and what actually is our circumstances. Because a lot of times we just trust our thoughts. We’re just like, oh, yeah, this is true, just because my brain thought it is 100% true. And this is how most of us live, like all the time, like, and there’s not necessarily even a problem with that. It’s human nature. But what we’re going to teach you today is a way to recognize the difference between your thoughts and your circumstances. And it sounds simple. But simple does not mean easy. Or that it’ll just click like immediately, because we have these thought patterns, like Christy mentioned these, like, you know, running arounds that have been going on for potentially years. And today, we’re going to just start to bring some awareness to that and kind of break this down for you. What do you think about that Chrissy

 

Chrissy  8:12

think that’s amazing. And I was just checking the comments. And there was a wonderful question just above, do kids have this many thoughts, these many dots per day? And the research does bear out that? Yes, they do. But they are less conscious of some of this subconscious running. And I think the beauty and the value of coaching is with curiosity. We’re not going to torture ourselves and beat ourselves up just for having thoughts. You’re not broken, nothing has gone wrong. You just have a human educator mind. But what we’re doing is we’re just making the unconscious conscious. And I like to do that. And Kelsey likes to do that. We’re going to teach you how to do that. Right? The goal today is for you to learn this so that you can spread it out in your schools. It’s like the best PD ever. So you can share it and you’re learning how to coach yourself. Yes.

 

Kelsey  9:07

On that note, you can share the link with your friends. Yes, I saw that in the comments we want you to share.

 

Chrissy  9:14

We’re just making the unconscious really conscious, but I just want to remind everyone, we do that from a place of compassion so that we can say, Oh, no wonder, Oh, of course. We’re not hard on ourselves. We’re not beating ourselves up. Please don’t use this beautiful work against yourself. That is not a goal to be hard on yourself or good yourself. We think sometimes the most important you know the way this sort of give ourselves a kick in the pants is to beat up on ourselves. It’s actually the opposite. Self Compassion, accepting ourselves where we are right now. Giving yourself a high five just because you’re here. You made it You crushed it. Thank you for being here. We know you have a lot to do and it’s still some Are for a lot of us. So we want to deliver some value right now.

 

Kelsey  10:04

Yes. And like Chrissy says, so we have some amazing questions in here about like your students and your children. And this absolutely applies to them, too. And we have resources coming out. I know a lot of you said, you’re in the club, we are already working on some resources to help you now teach this work to your students. But today, we are focused on helping you learn how to do this for yourself. And then from there, you’ll be able to pass it on to your students, to your co workers, and everything from there.

 

Chrissy  10:33

Yeah. So Chelsea, when we talk about how our thoughts create our feelings, when we talk about how everything in our model, and if you’re a budding philosopher out there, you’re gonna recognize maybe some stoicism, this is all Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus, those Romans, they in the Greeks, they were sure on to something early on about thought work and our minds, our minds really do create, create our realities. But I also think that we really learn a lot through story. Right? So if you have a fabulous reading rug, and if you are someone who is just so wonderful at telling stories, this is going to be a great day for you. And while love to be told great stories, so today, you of course, are getting every single neural pathway and latest cutting edge research and science. This is all proven that we’re going to teach it to you through story.

 

Kelsey  11:37

Yes. And I think this will also help answer so another question about hear about thoughts being about circumstances. And yes, that’s what we’re talking about. And we’re before we dive into the stories, Christy, let’s kind of talk about the difference between thoughts and circumstances. So Chrissy, let’s talk about circumstances. Okay, let’s

 

Unknown Speaker  11:55

talk about it.

 

Kelsey  11:57

So a circumstance is just what is happening. Yeah. Like, if you were an outside observer, I would be able to watch this. Like, I’m watching Chrissy and I’m like, you know, if I’m looking at Christie shirt, and I’m thinking, Oh, that’s such a cute shirt. That’s not a circumstance. That is my thought about it. Yeah. And the fact is, Chrissy is wearing a shirt. She’s not like, you know, going without a shirt here. That was obviously not planned. But you get what I mean. Chrissy go on,

 

Chrissy  12:27

I was just gonna say you’re, you’re absolutely I think it’s important to differentiate for everybody out there. And when we’re talking about, you know, how thoughts come thoughts come, because our brains love to stay in survival, right? They’re not programmed for us to always thrive or, you know, plan or have this big picture thinking make just want us to survive. It’s Darwinian, it’s our, it’s our, the way we as humans, keep our society together. So that’s why when we’re talking about thought work and scanning, scanning, scanning, we’re meaning making machines, meaning we’re going to make meaning from the facts that come in. So when Kelsey is using this word, circumstance, it’s just like, anything that comes into our world. Let’s give some examples. Cows, for example,

 

Kelsey  13:20

before it comes in, and we add that meaning.

 

Chrissy  13:23

Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah. It’s our thoughts are going to be the judgments, projections, opinions that we put on our thoughts. But for example, I can prove in a court of law and you all are my witnesses, that Kelsey Sorenson is wearing pink.

 

Kelsey  13:43

Their shirts are just what we’re going with, yeah,

 

Chrissy  13:46

I can also prove in a court of law, this is a neutral factual occurrence, that she is talking to us through a screen, I could prove sort of all the technology behind that everything that went in to this stream, and I can also prove that she is speaking to us in front of a beautiful multicolored, mazing, pink, blue, dark, gray, white, green background. She’s got different layers of color behind her just leaving part

 

Kelsey  14:19

is a thought because my husband or like, actually, my husband, he did it, but somebody else might come in and like, oh, that’s way too much. Like why would you put all that on your wall? You know,

 

Chrissy  14:28

right. Yeah, exactly. Any thought that we have about calcium pinscher any thought that we have about calcium multicolored background? That’s what we’re talking about here. It sometimes feels like the truth, but let’s get granular also, sometimes my clients will come to me and they’ll say, Kelsey, my principal hates me. And I’ll say, Wow, okay. Is that a fact? Can we prove it a court of law that your principal hates you? They’ll say Well, no, but she sent me an email Okay, so then we just get really granular,

 

Kelsey  15:02

like what did the email say?

 

Chrissy  15:05

So principal wrote white symbols, or black symbols on a white background, and then an electronic message, you know, scenario which we call email, and principal said words, then we start to look at, oh, well, what are those words? What are we making those words mean? So the very first step of this game is to really question everything really question your thoughts and ask yourself, is that true? Is that true? Because one of us could say, Wow, Kelsey, is looking so cute today. And someone would say, Oh, I don’t think so. And both are good. That’s fine. No problem that we just know that we have we’re running a thought or a story. That is not a fact, if somebody else can have another reaction.

 

Kelsey  15:54

Yeah, that’s basically it. Like if somebody else could think something else about it, even if like a lot of people agree with you, like, let’s say, like, you have a class that you’re like, Oh, this is the hard class and all the, you know, teachers before you were like, Oh, you’re you’ve got the hard class, like, everybody’s like agreeing with you. It’s still a thought, because there might be somebody else who doesn’t agree, or who thinks that they have a harder class? Or who’s like, Oh, I could handle those kids. No problem, we know that somebody out there would think or say that. So that is how we know that it is a thought rather than a circumstance. Okay, Christy, let’s get into some like deeper story examples. Are you ready?

 

Chrissy  16:30

I’m so excited. Yeah. Okay, I think illustrate the difference between

 

Kelsey  16:35

Yeah, because we’re gonna do like, we’re going to see because Christy’s gonna tell us off, she’s gonna do what we call a thought download out loud, which is just kind of say what you’re thinking you’re not trying to edit yourself. You’re not trying to do that. So circumstances, I thought you’re just like talking like you normally would. Or writing down what is going on in your mind and will then we look, objectively, and we try to separate so I’m going to have all of you helped me, we’re going to figure out what are the circumstances? And what are the thoughts in Chrissie scenario? And she’s going to tell us all about that red

 

Chrissy  17:06

light. You ready? Yeah. And if you I’m just gonna put this in our chat if you have a sense, if you can see the see the T and the F, meaning what’s the circumstance and what I’m about to tell you the story I’m about to give you? What’s the thought? And then can you hear from my feeling? And no problem? If you get one or two of these elements? That’s great. You’re already on to your brain. Okay, cool. So are you ready? I’m your client, you’re my coach.

 

Kelsey  17:35

I’m ready. And I’m gonna like, take some notes right here so we can talk it out with you. After you’re done.

 

Chrissy  17:43

Great coaches as great questions. So think about the kinds of questions that you would want to ask me for that Kelsey is going to ask me and Kelsey, don’t be afraid to interrupt me, okay.

 

Kelsey  17:54

Okay. Okay.

 

Chrissy  17:56

All right. So it is back to school. And the budget that I have for my French class, Kelsey just does not cover all of the class room, things I absolutely need. Sure I have textbooks that’s covered. But all of the extras that I need for my French classroom, from posters to incredible realia when I’m teaching you about food, to all sorts of examples that I need, so I have got to go and buy school supplies. The only problem is that this is creating such a big conflict in my marriage with my husband, Yuri, because every time I buy school supplies, she gets so mad, he gets so mad. And he does not understand that I have to buy new school supplies for my friends classroom. And that actually makes me super frustrated that he doesn’t get it because over and over. I feel like every year at about this time. I mean, I’m going to all the budget places. I’m one of the dollar stores now like I’m like, you know, ordering from Amazon. But let’s face it, sometimes I’ve got to order stuff off of Amazon.

 

Kelsey  19:09

Okay, let’s raise your hand if you can, like relate to what Christie is talking about here. Again, this is so relatable for us as teachers, right? But let’s look at this. So she was saying so that she can’t get all the things that she needs for school. Why would ask her well, what is it that you need? She might be saying the right things that she needs that she maybe doesn’t need. So that’s one thing, but then also we got into her husband here. And her husband is mad. And he is making her frustrated. What is he Why are you frustrated with your husband? What is he doing?

 

Chrissy  19:45

I’m frustrated because and by the way, Great job everyone in the comments. We’re just what we’re doing right now in case you’ve just joined us. We’re going through sort of a typical scenario that, well, at least in my life, it’s very true. And we’re just trying to He’s out what are the facts? Yeah. What are the thoughts meaning what am I making it mean? And then what is the feeling that that thought is driving and callousness helping me see it all? Because when we’re in our stories, we cannot see it. That’s why everybody needs a coach. Okay? So Kelsey just asked me, Why am I mad at my husband? I have to buy school supplies for my first classroom with my own money. I just have to, because I’m not a good teacher, if I don’t, that’s

 

Kelsey  20:35

you’re not a good teacher? If you don’t buy school supplies with your own money? Who agrees with that? Tell me in the comments. Do you agree with that? I see a yes. Feeling. I don’t know if that was to that though. There are lots of different questions going on feeling FFTT. Okay, so the thought that you have to buy these things to be a good teacher is is just what I said. It’s a thought because some teachers are like, No, it’s a letter saying don’t agree. Others are saying it’s so relatable and everything. So a lot of us might think that some of us might think that, but it’s not true that you have to buy all these things with your own money to be a good teacher. So that right there was the thought, right, Chris,

 

Unknown Speaker  21:15

thank you so much.

 

Kelsey  21:17

And then there’s the husband thing too, there’s so many different thoughts over like jumping around models, which we don’t do when we’re actually coaching, we pick one, and we focus on it. But right now, we’re just starting to show all the different things in the scenario.

 

Chrissy  21:30

Let’s focus just on I think the, if everyone got the original story, the original story is basically the circumstances my husband says words.

 

Kelsey  21:44

Yeah. And you’re just like he’s mad. And you didn’t say like, why is he mad? Like, did he say I am mad at you, Chrissy that you’re buying all this stuff that you say that

 

Chrissy  21:54

my husband said words, I am upset and angry that every year you spend money? That’s our money for your school kids? That that’s not fair.

 

Kelsey  22:10

That’s not fair. And see, these are all things that he is thinking. And he is saying, yeah. And then what do you think about what he’s saying? Yeah.

 

Chrissy  22:20

So that’s what said husband says words. My thought is? He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t get it. I am so frustrated. That.

 

Kelsey  22:35

Yeah, so he doesn’t hear you he doesn’t get it. And that makes you feel frustrated.

 

Chrissy  22:39

100% my emotion here my feeling is total frustration.

 

Kelsey  22:44

Yeah. But see what was in between there. It wasn’t her husband is making her feel frustrated. It was her thought of he doesn’t see me he doesn’t hear me. That is what is making her feel frustrated. It’s not that he’s saying all these things. Because I can guarantee you that there’s another teacher out there who just kind of laughs and rolls her eyes like yeah, whatever hobby I’m doing it, you know. Yeah, there’s definitely another Can you imagine just like kind of imagined? Could there be another teacher who might do that? That’s another way you can kind of envision envision this and you’re okay. Yeah. Then I know. Yeah, this is my thought. There’s a thought in between there.

 

Chrissy  23:19

And even going back to if we were just I like how Tracy Hill says Tracy great job. She writes, it’s easier to buy the supplies ourselves than to fight with admin about it. Okay, wait, let’s stop. As your coach, we’re gonna stop you right there. And we’re gonna say, is it because one person can say I have fabulous advice. In fact, I have had the admin in my own past life. This is true story. Her like, if I hear or see that any person on my staff, my faculty, they’re using their own money for school supplies? No, that’s a no, that’s a hard no, we’re gonna reimburse you. And so that was incredibly easy. I didn’t have to fight with anyone. I got everything I needed. So that’s just Tracy such I love that you brought that up. It sounds so true. It’s such a sneaky thing. Like, it’s way easier to buy supplies ourselves than just to fight with them and about it. But we know that’s a thought because somebody else could have a different that like, it’s not hard at all to get our school supplies. Right?

 

Kelsey  24:25

Well, and then maybe there are admins who like don’t have that same again, because admins have different thoughts and feelings and things they say.

 

Unknown Speaker  24:33

Yeah, yeah. You so

 

Kelsey  24:34

maybe like you do like they are maybe they’re expecting you to do certain things. But if it’s not a circumstance that that is in your job contract that you must spend X amount of money on your classroom, then yeah, yeah. Then yeah. What I’m asking what is easier it’s kind of choosing your heart it’s either, you know, keep you could keep the peace at school and and either things, or, you know, there’s but there’s something else that is giving. It’s either like, Oh, you’re using that money. And maybe that’s harder for you. Or maybe you’re having this situation with your husband, like Chrissy was explaining. So it’s just kind of either way. There’s some mindset work around it, either. Yeah, we’re saying there’s nothing wrong either way, with what you’re doing and you can’t control. And that’s the thing, we need to talk about what circumstances like you can’t control how much money your school is willing to reimburse, or what your admin is says, yeah, those are Oh, no. Are their contracts like that? No, that’s why I’m saying it would have to be a circumstance that your contract was say that and your contracts? Don’t what I’m saying is that like, if you that your admin can’t force you to spend your own money, is what I was saying. Like that wouldn’t be in your contract. If it is, let me know. That’s kind of crazy. Yeah, just an example.

 

Chrissy  25:55

And this is such a good one, right? Because look at all the facts and look at all the beautiful comments that are coming through on the chat. And what I want to say, Kelsey, you took the words right out of my coach mouth that you’re absolutely right when Kelsey said, you just have to kind of decide what you want hard to look like. Or you just have to decide for your own mind management, how you’re going to hire how you want to approach this way, right? This applies. Just like in my example, I get to decide, I get to choose my thoughts. Like I choose my clothes, like Cassie chooses that beautiful pink shirt, she has gone out of her closet, we get to choose our thoughts about the circumstance of school supplies, or my husband said words. Getting back to my husband said words, why are you always buying school supplies? Or I’m so angry and upset that you pay for them out of your own pocket? Whatever the words are? My, I would like to decide how I want to feel about that. So sometimes notice, husband says words, I think, okay, how do I want to feel about those words, if I want to just feel indifferent? Like I’m just staring at him, like, he is just a beautiful man. Right? Like, I just, I just want to love him. But if I just want to feel neutral about his work, like they don’t land, they don’t affect me. Then I could choose a thought like, my husband were my husband’s words, are my husband’s words, or, you know, I don’t want to discount him. I love him very much. And I also want to contribute to the financial peace of our household. But it is really amazing to see. And that’s what we want to show you today. How our thoughts, basically our story about what is really does drive our feeling. And if you want to manage your mind, whether it’s school supplies, relationships, one of my beautiful hacks I’m sharing with you and a great tool is how do I want to feel about the situation on purpose? And that helps me get to what do I want to think? Faster? Does that make sense? Oh, yeah.

 

Kelsey  28:15

Yeah. So it’s like, how we start my brain just like, how we think about it. Yeah. is what creates our feelings? And that’s a

 

Chrissy  28:27

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I like, thank you so much, Sherry, you said it’s all about reframing it. Absolutely.

 

Kelsey  28:35

Absolutely. Yeah. So when you were changing it to just like, you know, your husband? What was it you said, My, these those are my husband’s words, or whatever, you were kind of reframing how you were thinking about it. So yeah, exactly.

 

Chrissy  28:49

So if anybody has either an example, or even questions about this, please keep them coming in the chat. But I just again, I think the big takeaways from today and Kelsey, what I just heard you say is that, and this was revolutionary when I learned it, but it’s like, wait, I can choose how I want to think about anything. And the answer is yes. And I can choose ahead of time how I want to feel. Now this is not to say that we avoid certain feelings or we push them away, or we’re just very Pollyanna. We’re not talking about toxic

 

Kelsey  29:30

positivity here. And it doesn’t mean that thoughts aren’t going to pop back up. We have those 70,000 thoughts a day. It means that we can realize we can notice when we’re having a thought that maybe like okay, this thought isn’t serving me, it’s not helping me. Like I feel this way maybe I don’t want to feel this way. I mean, you get to decide maybe you also just, you know, process that emotion too. But it’s just kind of that awareness you can catch it on. When you’re thinking something thing that you can also be like, Oh, wait, I am feeling really frustrated right now. What am I thinking that is causing me to feel frustrated? And that can help us kind of, you know, step back a little bit, get our get our bearings together and kind of observe, like an outside observer what is going on?

 

Chrissy  30:19

And I love how Sherry any storm just read in the comments. She said, This is why growth mindset. Yes, Carol Dweck, it’s so important to teach the power of yet. And by the way, you could just use the power of yet and that word yet in your thought work. So if my husband said something like, you know, you’re spending all this money. I don’t understand why we always have this fight at the beginning of every back to school. My thought might be an in this moment, it might be the best choice for me to feel just like 3% better. My thought could be. I just haven’t decided what I think about my husband’s words yet. Yeah. And then I feel incredibly it’s like that the emotion that comes from like, I haven’t decided what I want to make that mean yet what I want to make my husband’s words how I want to feel about them yet. That still feels like wow, spacious. Like, I might lose a TV.

 

Kelsey  31:30

Oh, wait, did I put that on the screen? Oh, sorry. Oh, no. Lindsay just said husband needs to go. I think she’s different. Different thoughts, like different, you know, people might think different things, you know, but um, I had a thought that I was going to add Christie, I’m trying to remember what it was because I read that comment and thought it was hilarious. Lindsey, I love I love that. But yeah, the power of yet just being like you don’t know. Yeah. And I think with that you can kind of tap into curiosity, because like, this is where we don’t get into toxic positivity, like, everything is just fine and dandy. And it’s great that like, you know, my school gives me you know, and again, not enough, that is also a thought. But if you are feeling like you know, you don’t have to feel great about what they give you like you might agree with, they don’t give me enough, you might have that thought in the back. No, I agree with that thought I like it. Like, I think it’s true that they don’t give me enough like, that is the thought you can keep we’re not telling you to change that. But it’s kind of getting curious about like, Okay, well, what can I control, what we’re trying to help you with is the part that you can control, which you can’t control the budget your school gives you, you can’t control what your admin says, what you can control is your mindset around it, how you navigate the situation. Lisa says, I think my mindset has improved so much since I joined wife, teacher mommy club and watching listening to the coaching, yes. And that’s what we’re here to help with. We’re not here to be like, Oh, everything’s fine, like you are great with all your supplies and everything. We’re totally ignoring everything you’re saying in the comments, because that’s not it. We’re just here to help you with the parks that you can control and to try to help give you your power back. Because when you give all the power to your admin or to the budget, and just feel like there’s nothing I can do, we’re trying to help you with the part that we you can work on, which is your mindset, which is getting curious about your feelings, getting curious about your husband, I mean, like, Oh, I wonder why he feels that way. Maybe there’s some unmet needs there. Like if you can get into curiosity, instead of just this frustration that maybe you can see, like where it’s coming from, maybe he feels like you’re using more of the budget, and he doesn’t get to use it. Or maybe he feels like maybe you could talk about different ways to allocate, there are other ways to get what you need. Like, just getting curious can help like it doesn’t change, like, you know, there’s a certain level of supplies you want a need, or you feel like you don’t get enough, you need to get more supplies great. It’s just we’re trying to help you with that other piece of it.

 

Chrissy  33:55

So what we hope to show you here is your own empowerment, us so powerful, you are so in control of your own mind, even when it feels like you’re not. And I want to give you a couple of sentence starters or a couple of tips. In fact, d G love that. Digi so, so cool. Said should you express all your thoughts out loud? Really, really great question. Now everybody has a different modality and a different way of being what I want to tell you and we’ve got it over and wife, teacher mommy club as well. So come on over. But here’s a tool to help you really understand what are some of these 70,000 thoughts? And what’s the bouncy castle that I’m creating around all of this? And that’s called a thought download. A lot of people call it sometimes a brain dump. Just getting all your thoughts out. I love to do this in the morning. Does somebody get them out of my body? These thoughts are so that’s my version of expressing all my thoughts out loud, but out loud for me is eyes to Eyes on the paper so I and see what I’m actually writing. Then what I’ll do D is I’ll take one of those, maybe there’s a thing, right about my husband complaining about the school supplies, and then I’ll put that in the model. And I’ll see how it’s serving me. First of all, I just want to model what I’m doing. And we’re going to do a lot more tomorrow and a lot. How to dive into do that. But it’s just so important to see what is what is up. And we can often think like, oh, I just, I don’t know, you know, I haven’t decided yet. When I think about this. That’s cool. That’s fine. That just gives you what we’re doing here is we’re creating the watch yourself. So now, we understand from your observer brain that you are not your thoughts. And the one prefix I wanted to give everyone a sentence starter is, oh, I’m having the thought that bla bla bla bla bla, my husband’s a jerk. My husband doesn’t seem me. My husband doesn’t understand that this is what I have to do for school. My husband is frustrating, like, I’m just having the thought blank is such a great sentence starter for you to watch your mind for you to be the watcher of your brain. Can’t see are there any other tools or tricks that another one that really works for me is a sentence in my brain?

 

Kelsey  36:24

Yeah, we have our thoughts and about things. And I see all these great comments, start a thought journal. Yes. And this is where it’s in the handout, Carol linked it in the chat. So you can all pull it up, we will email this out, if you scroll down, you will see we have where you can do with that download. And we even have like pages for you to take notes on if you would like like, if you watch the replays, I want to take some more notes. And you can obviously do this on any paper, this is just kind of like, it gives you some clips of what to do before and afters. Like first, you’re not trying to edit yourself, you’re just getting everything down. You’re not trying to say oh, wait, that was a thought I shouldn’t put that down. You know, that’s what we’re doing. We’re putting our thoughts down. And we’re not trying to judge why we’re doing it, whether it’s a circumstance or thought, we’re just getting it all down. And then once you’re done, it helps you look at it from an outside perspective, it’s not stuck like going all bouncing around in your head because you got it on paper, that alone can help to get it out a whole lot. And then from there, what you can do is you can watch it, or you can read it, which I call watching it, but you read it. And you can kind of be like, ooh, that right there. That is a thought. And I didn’t realize that until I got it down on paper. And that thought is making me feel frustrated or making me feel anxious. And this is what helps us to be able to kind of coach ourselves. And I’m diving even more into that on day three. So you can learn how to self coach how to use the model we’re going to teach, which is also been here. And we can dive into that a little bit. So if we can scroll down a little bit again, Carol, it’s amazing to have an amazing team. And yet you can share this handout you can share these replays will be up through the 31st for everybody here. And for those of you who were in wife, teacher mommy club, they will continue to live on in your club member portal and on the members only private podcast so you can listen as well. But these are just some questions like ask How am I feeling? And then what am I thinking that is causing me to feel this way? That’s just kind of something you can put up as a reminder. And then this is the self coaching model, which tomorrow when we coach, this is what we’re going to use. And we’ll teach even more about this before we dive into coaching tomorrow, right Chrissy?

 

Chrissy  38:37

Yeah, absolutely. I do want to explain it for a sec, though. Yeah, absolutely. And Rosemary actually had some amazing Thank you statements. She wrote in the comments, can I share this and this is the goal, my goal over the crazy concept. And here wife, teacher, mommy, Chelsea’s goal. The entire team’s goal is to help as many educators as possible. Now, whether you know we do that, and maybe this is the only conversation this is the only time you’ll ever see our beautiful faces, looking inside our minds together. That is fine. We want you to spread this work. We want you to take this work and make it your own. And by the way, this is a fantastic thing to do with your students. I would do that that loads brain dumps with my students. And that creates so much community that created so much of a vibe in class where they can have some aha eyes and some self realizations. But yeah, this is the thought bottle. That’s basically something out there and life happens. I have a thought about there’s something out there in life that happens like the photocopier goes down or kills his computer.

 

Kelsey  39:46

Oh, those photo copiers man or printers. Oh, yeah, we have thoughts.

 

Chrissy  39:52

And so I’m thinking I hate my life with the photocopier. You know, you can’t walk away from the gym that That was our rule at school, then that’s going to create a feeling of anger, frustration. Now remember, a feeling is a vibration inside of our bodies. It is a vibration in our bodies. So one word, we only put one word in that feeling line because we really want to get granular about, hmm, what am I thinking that’s causing this feeling of anger or impatience, or joy? In my life, a lot of us think we’d create models to look at the stuff we don’t want. But I use the model also to create the good vibes that I do want. When things are going really well. I’m like, let me model that out. And I actually have a place in my on my whiteboard, where I’ll just write CTF AR right circumstance that feels like action result, I do the same thing. Yeah, just like a little corner so that I can kind of keep it from our feeling that vibration in our body is always what we do, or what we don’t do our behaviors. So often, when I’m feeling scared my life, but there’s something that I don’t want to put out my business or I don’t podcasts that I feel like is a little risky. What do I do when I’m scared, I avoid, I pull back, I stay stuck. And I find a lot of evidence in my life to avoid, like, I might as well. My husband thinks I should avoid to whatever it is right. And then of course, that always creates a result if I’m scared to do something, if I avoid it, because I’m thinking that that That’s too scary. I couldn’t possibly do that. I avoid. I don’t do it. And then I couldn’t possibly do it. I didn’t do it. Of course it can’t possibly get done. Because I’ve been avoiding it the whole time. What is my favorite apparently? Kristijan?

 

Kelsey  41:54

Yes, well, a lot of us do that is very common, when you’re scared about something to avoid doing something or to avoid, like, you know, talking to your admin about something and just even about, like the supplies or whatever it is, you know, avoiding is what we do a lot. Avoidance happens a lot with certain topics, yes. But it’s something that is caused, again, our actions are caused by our feelings, which are caused by our thoughts. It all works up the model or down the model, wherever it is, you’re finding like things you’re doing things you’re not doing. You’re like, oh, how am I feeling? What am I thinking? What is the circumstance, you can kind of start at any point in this model, to identify to work your way through it. And you can even work once, like when I was doing my certification call with the Life Coach School. And it’s kind of like a teacher observation. I talked about this on a podcast where I really wanted to pass my final certification call. And I was feeling really nervous about it. So what did I decide to do? I decided to put it in the model. I decided to put the result passcertification call and I was like, What do I need to do to pass it? And I wrote it down everything I needed to do, then I was like, How do I need to feel in order to remember to do all these things? And what do I need to think? And the circumstance was just certification calls scheduled at this time. And that model helped me to totally rock that call. I had a practice called beforehand. And I was thinking very different thoughts. And it did not go well. So it was like, Okay, I’m going to do a model, I’m going to figure out what it is. Yes, you can totally do this before going into a difficult conversation to anticipate what could happen. Absolutely. That’s kind of exactly what I did with that call. And I think I will actually do, I’m going to add that like working the model backwards into because we’re not going to have time to really go in depth with that. But I’m going to add that to my call calendar. For those of you who are club members, we’ll talk about how you can work backwards with the model.

 

Chrissy  43:42

Can’t say I think that’s wonderful. The beautiful thing about the model game when you’re seeing this up on the screen is you can kind of go any direction and I signed up sometimes enter a model at the feeling line i i grew up with my family of origin and Cincinnati, Ohio, where it was not okay to feel like you had to like don’t explain, don’t complain. Keep a stiff upper lip. Never let them see you sweat don’t let the neighbors know what’s really going on. So this work for me has been tremendous to even understand that I have feelings because I spent a lot of my life very numb or covering with a big smile. And sometimes I was really happy, joyful content excited. But a lot of that was a cover a motion for some of the despair or the sadness, the loneliness rejection that I was feeling on the inside. Now, what I want to tell you is sometimes for me, you have to make this work for you. My way in is through my feeling fine. And we’re going to go more into depth about that. Do not worry, but I just want to really congratulate all of you even If you’re just looking at this model, even if you’re just sitting here going, Oh, I’m not my thoughts. Oh, my brain is just trying to protect me. Oh, no wonder I feel overwhelmed. When I look at all the things I’ve done in a day. Know, their circumstances, just neutral facts and things that happen, you know, like, the light turned red. That’s just a neutral fact how I think about that, oh, my mind is blown. Like, you’re so welcome Gina for all this information. And everybody who just wrote that in the comments like this, if you’ve just taken one thing away from this great channel.

 

Kelsey  45:38

Yeah. And it can help with people pleasing. It can help with all these different things I’ve seen in the comments with difficult conversations. It can help with like, you know, even management like, you know, with our classroom, like, Oh, what are our students doing? What am I thinking about it and like, you know, all of that it can help with, honestly, almost anything in your life. And that is what I love so much about this model, it was a game changer for me. And that’s why I wanted to bring it to teachers everywhere and do this free three day event for all of you. So you can learn as much as you can about it during these three days. So we will see you tomorrow.

 

Chrissy  46:12

Thanks, Cassie. Thanks, everybody way to show up for yourself.

 

Kelsey  46:19

Okay, wasn’t that awesome? At least I sure hope it was. Because as you know, I recorded this before it happened. But because we’re polishing on content we’ve done before and everything, I know that these tools, honestly, you can’t go wrong with these tools, you really can’t. So I’m really excited that you’re learning them that you’re here. Now what I want to do is help you to apply them and make them a part of your everyday life. So if you want to get the next two days in podcast format, as well, so you can learn from day two and day three and beyond coaching all throughout the school year, I would love you to join us inside wife, teacher mommy club, we will have a coaching call every single week. So you can keep that mindset in tip top shape all throughout the school year. And if you’re listening in July 2022, it’s the last chance to join before the prices go up. But even if you’re not, my goal is to continue to be the cheapest, most accessible life coaching memberships with coaches who are certified by the Life Coach School. So we are really excited to be able to offer so much in this membership. We know it’s an investment but it is an investment in yourself and the betterment of you and how it trickles down to everybody else in your life as well. So we hope to see you inside of the club. But either way, I will talk to you on the podcast very soon. Bye bye.

 

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